Hello everyone,
I am new here and to Poly life in general and am looking for some reassurance and guidance in my life. A little about myself and my story so far. My wife decided about a month ago that she was unhappy with only one man in her life. She had just started working after taking about 2 years off. In her first week she met a man who would go out of his way to help her get her job done. They started talking and hit it off, within a couple of days they were dating. She stayed at her moms for the first week of work so our 7 year old had someone to help him with his school work and so she had a ride to work, as we only had 1 vehicle at the time. After she got her first paycheck she asks me to help her finance a new truck, the next day tells me she has a boyfriend and asks if that's ok.
Wanting to make my wife happy I agree, at this point I am in total shock and denial. I have no idea what is going on and feel like my whole world is collapsing around me. The last several weeks have been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me, and I am sure I have been making mistakes. A couple weekends ago I lost my composure because she broke one of the boundaries she set. He wasn't allowed in our bedroom, and she coerced him into our bedroom to look at her sexy outfits and toys. There were already a lot of changes going on in our lives she got a new job and our son started school(he has since started physically going to school instead of doing online, we just couldn't manage doing online schooling with both of us working). She does home rehabs about an hour from home, so that in itself is a huge stressor on our marriage as we figure out a schedule that works for her. I had to rearrange my schedule at work to accommodate our sons school, and the dogs are left home alone all day. My work schedule is 6am to 3pm, hers is supposedly 10am to 6pm. She never seems to be able to get out of work on time however, and there are an abundance of reasons she has but it mostly boils down to the fact her boyfriend works with her. He was staying in a hotel out here by our house and she was giving him a ride to work every day, so they would stop and get breakfast after dropping our son off at school. They take lunch together and go to bob evans, she has to take him to do service calls, and so on so her work isn't getting done. I have confronted both of them about this, though I get a response of "we were both hungry", or "it's none of my business". I wouldn't mind so much if I got to spend time with my wife, but she will usually not come home until 11pm or later. Our child doesn't get to spend quality time with her, her dogs don't get to spend quality time with her, and I don't get to spend quality time with her. Her boyfriend says he doesn't get to spend quality time with her either, he wants more time. She is already saying she should spend every other weekend with him and has stayed at his hotel room 3 times. She hasn't got her paycheck from last week, I am starting to think her boss isn't paying her because she is spending all her time with her boyfriend.
According to both of them they are not having sex yet. She says she doesn't want to move too quickly with him, however she buys his breakfast and lunch, drives him to and from work, and spends all of her spare time either with him or texting him. Lately I have felt like I am only here for financial support and to take care of our son and the dogs while she does what she wants. Today, she didn't go into work until late because she stayed last night until 4am. I asked her at 1130am if she wanted to get some lunch since she was getting ready to head to work. She said no, then after she got to work told me her and her boyfriend were going to get lunch. I felt so devastated, I almost doubled over and cried at work.
I have been asking her for some comfort and reassurance, and I just feel like I haven't been getting any, her answer is join a forum and ask for advice. I have been searching for ways to better myself and my relationship with my wife, and I have been trying to implement changes to how I react and treat the things she says but I feel like I'm not getting the same courtesy. Tomorrow he is supposed to come stay here and sleep on the couch in the living room for a few days so that we can all bond and get to know each other better. I wish I had some positives about my experience so far, but it has just been a train wreck and I can only hope it will get better.
I am new here and to Poly life in general and am looking for some reassurance and guidance in my life. A little about myself and my story so far. My wife decided about a month ago that she was unhappy with only one man in her life. She had just started working after taking about 2 years off. In her first week she met a man who would go out of his way to help her get her job done. They started talking and hit it off, within a couple of days they were dating. She stayed at her moms for the first week of work so our 7 year old had someone to help him with his school work and so she had a ride to work, as we only had 1 vehicle at the time. After she got her first paycheck she asks me to help her finance a new truck, the next day tells me she has a boyfriend and asks if that's ok.
Wanting to make my wife happy I agree, at this point I am in total shock and denial. I have no idea what is going on and feel like my whole world is collapsing around me. The last several weeks have been a roller coaster ride of emotions for me, and I am sure I have been making mistakes. A couple weekends ago I lost my composure because she broke one of the boundaries she set. He wasn't allowed in our bedroom, and she coerced him into our bedroom to look at her sexy outfits and toys. There were already a lot of changes going on in our lives she got a new job and our son started school(he has since started physically going to school instead of doing online, we just couldn't manage doing online schooling with both of us working). She does home rehabs about an hour from home, so that in itself is a huge stressor on our marriage as we figure out a schedule that works for her. I had to rearrange my schedule at work to accommodate our sons school, and the dogs are left home alone all day. My work schedule is 6am to 3pm, hers is supposedly 10am to 6pm. She never seems to be able to get out of work on time however, and there are an abundance of reasons she has but it mostly boils down to the fact her boyfriend works with her. He was staying in a hotel out here by our house and she was giving him a ride to work every day, so they would stop and get breakfast after dropping our son off at school. They take lunch together and go to bob evans, she has to take him to do service calls, and so on so her work isn't getting done. I have confronted both of them about this, though I get a response of "we were both hungry", or "it's none of my business". I wouldn't mind so much if I got to spend time with my wife, but she will usually not come home until 11pm or later. Our child doesn't get to spend quality time with her, her dogs don't get to spend quality time with her, and I don't get to spend quality time with her. Her boyfriend says he doesn't get to spend quality time with her either, he wants more time. She is already saying she should spend every other weekend with him and has stayed at his hotel room 3 times. She hasn't got her paycheck from last week, I am starting to think her boss isn't paying her because she is spending all her time with her boyfriend.
According to both of them they are not having sex yet. She says she doesn't want to move too quickly with him, however she buys his breakfast and lunch, drives him to and from work, and spends all of her spare time either with him or texting him. Lately I have felt like I am only here for financial support and to take care of our son and the dogs while she does what she wants. Today, she didn't go into work until late because she stayed last night until 4am. I asked her at 1130am if she wanted to get some lunch since she was getting ready to head to work. She said no, then after she got to work told me her and her boyfriend were going to get lunch. I felt so devastated, I almost doubled over and cried at work.
I have been asking her for some comfort and reassurance, and I just feel like I haven't been getting any, her answer is join a forum and ask for advice. I have been searching for ways to better myself and my relationship with my wife, and I have been trying to implement changes to how I react and treat the things she says but I feel like I'm not getting the same courtesy. Tomorrow he is supposed to come stay here and sleep on the couch in the living room for a few days so that we can all bond and get to know each other better. I wish I had some positives about my experience so far, but it has just been a train wreck and I can only hope it will get better.