My husband I have been married over 10 years. We've delved into threesomes. We've discovered that I am bi if not leaning more towards the lesbian side. I would like to meet someone that is into both of us or at least someone I could have a relationship. I'm in a very conservative job so I'm somewhat "in the closet" and plan to stay that way. How do I meet people that would be interested in a somewhat secondary relationship?
New to this. How to get started
- Thread starter emg6811
- Start date
Hi and welcome. If it's any comfort, this is a pretty common scenario which implies that there are quite a lot of "wives" out there in your position (although probably not likely to also fuck your husband unless you fuck theirs perhaps?). Your trick is to find them. Depending on your age and location, Facebook poly groups might be an option to meet these similar people.
That, or people in whatever social circles you rebuild post pandemic. Go try something new. Pub sing or something else where people are likely to be dropping their day job facade.
The biggest challenge/mistake newly poly couples looking for a woman (although most use "female") make is expecting her to be single and available to them at their convenience. Don't be that couple. Be a couple that people are intrigued by. Charmed by. Make it known that you are not exclusive and then let people come to you with their curiosity.
That, or people in whatever social circles you rebuild post pandemic. Go try something new. Pub sing or something else where people are likely to be dropping their day job facade.
The biggest challenge/mistake newly poly couples looking for a woman (although most use "female") make is expecting her to be single and available to them at their convenience. Don't be that couple. Be a couple that people are intrigued by. Charmed by. Make it known that you are not exclusive and then let people come to you with their curiosity.
Greetings emg6811,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Here's some resources for finding someone secondary:
Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.
Hopefully that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Here's some resources for finding someone secondary:
- https://fetlife.com/
- https://bare.dating/
- https://polyfinda.com/
- https://en.lovoo.com/#/
- https://www.okcupid.com/
- https://www.kasidie.com/
- http://www.facebook.com/
- http://www.beyondtwo.com/
- https://www.lavalife.com/
- https://www.openminded.com/
- http://adultfriendfinder.com/
- http://www.polymatchmaker.com/
- http://www.polyamory.org/SF/groups.html
- https://www.meetup.com/topics/polyamory/
- http://polyevents.blogspot.com/#localgroups
- Lists of local poly groups
- Meetings and Events
- Dating & Friendships
Even if it's not an "alternative" type group, if there's a club or something in your area that does something you're interested in, you can always join that group and it just gives you a way to get out there and meet people. If you meet someone on a platonic level and get to talking about poly, then they can decide how they feel about it without any "pressure to agree." Then if they do decide poly doesn't bother them too much, and some kind of romantic connection subsequently develops, you'll already have "had the poly conversation" with them.
Hopefully that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"
Notes:
There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!
Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.
Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.
If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.
Welcome aboard!
The mainstream media makes it seem as if "throuples" (I hate that word, I prefer triads) are all the rage and extremely common and easy to form and maintain. Actual experienced poly people will tell you this is not the case. Most successful poly people who are already in a couple (especially the straight guy, bi woman configuration) date independently.
I know you're asking where to meet people, and that has been covered above. Here is a helpful article for formerly mono couples to read about why looking for a hot bi babe to share rarely, if ever, works.
davidlnoble.livejournal.com
I know you're asking where to meet people, and that has been covered above. Here is a helpful article for formerly mono couples to read about why looking for a hot bi babe to share rarely, if ever, works.
So, someone called you a Unicorn Hunter?
This article is a long, technical discussion of what being a "Unicorn Hunter" means, what's wrong with it, and how people in such a situation can try to avoid the negative stereotypes associated with such behavior and get the things that they are ultimately looking for. It is written in a…
davidlnoble.livejournal.com