Nobody's Fool

A thousand hugs, FF.

Ugh, Kitten's apology with the "but."

Ugh, the total personality change in Tails! But then again, you didn't know him all that long. People have depths that can take like 2 or 3 years of intimacy to uncover. Jaeger's death just sped it up, maybe? I don't know.

I agree on the idea he is wallowing in misery and wants to lessen it by making you even more miserable than you are. As if it's somehow your fault J got hit! For f's sake.

I feel like you and I are our own little grief=broken relationship support group.

But at least Punk has the "excuse" of being bipolar, a stunted genius, and with ADHD. Does Tails have mental illness? Or just a super low emotional quotient?

My mom died 9 years ago, and my dad has Asperger's Syndrome. For at least a year after she died, when I'd go see him and his oldest friend, my "aunt" was there, he'd have 2 or 5 glasses of wine at dinner and moan how nobody ever felt grief the way he did. No one ever! No one understands. My "aunt" would say, "John, (not his real name), your daughters lost their MOTHER! Don't you think they are grieving too?" He'd barely make eye contact, he wouldn't acknowledge her words at all. Just have another drink and fall asleep sitting up. Gah! Men! They grieve so stupidly.
 
For what it's worth, I think you are grieving both of them... and I'm sorry. It's not your fault. And it's shitty that you have to go through this.
 
Thanks, guys. It means a lot to have as much support here as I do. It's amazing, how much better I feel knowing there are real human beings out there who give a shit, and who can understand my situation.

I've been thinking about Tails and his 180 reversal, and I'm not sure it is a reversal to tell you the truth. He's always been on the volatile side. That is not tactful, but it feels right. He expresses everything in a big way. When he's mad, he's the maddest person on the planet. When he is happy, he is the most trilled anyone will ever be. He is prone to pouts, and sudden reversals of opinion. I'm usually pretty level headed: I don't resolve fights by shouting, for example, and I'd rather sneak off to a quiet corner to cry if I need to. When Tails gets angry he wants to watch the world burn; when he is sad he wants to wail in the streets and pull at his hair and clothes. There was a reason the FeatherFool-Tails relationship was a lot rockier than the FeatherFool-Jaeger relationship.

When Tails felt good, it was beautiful. Attentive and sweet, bubbly like champagne; a flashfire of silliness and fun. When we had our issues- and we did (relationship expectations, not taking concerns seriously, etc)- it was hard to be heard by him. He was always the "most hurt", the "most inconvenienced", etc, by whatever trouble I was trying to resolve. Getting mad that I was mad, kind of. He doesn't seem to be interested (or able, maybe) in regulating his emotions at all. They just flow through him. It's wonderful when it's good- addictive, almost. On the other hand, his inability to self-regulate could be exhausting and frustrating. Not everything is a crisis. Not everything requires a DefCon 1 response. Tails basically lives his life using napalm on dandelions growing out of cracks in his cement.

Tails has self-worth issues, for sure. He ties how he views himself very tightly to how other people see him. I think it's a part of why he is so social and friendly: he needs the world to love him. And I have wondered if he doesn't have some kind of undiagnosed... something. He doesn't seem to fit bipolar (he doesn't have manic/depressive episode cycles as far as I know), and I can't tell if he is so emotional because he lacks the skills to manage his reactions, or if he is literally incapable of it. He does have ADD, but I'm not sure that would have much to do with emotional intelligence. Maybe it does; I dunno.

His and Jaegers' relationship was also extremely tight. Tied at the hip, you could say, for over a decade. I think maybe Tails got a lot of his identify from Jaeger. I have wondered if there was some kind of codependancy there (or something similar; I'm not hip to all those term). I need a ton of space in relationships and have no interest of living in someone's pocket, so I am not sure I would be a good person to interpret when a relationship is or is not codependent. It certainly worked for them, whatever it was. Until Jaeger is no longer there, and Tails is so lost.

I'm so tired of thinking about Tails all the time. Even when I don't post, he is still there. Is it bad to feel like it would be a relief if we just said goodbye? Does that make me a bad person, to leave him in his pain and sorrow? I'm just so tired, and every time I have to deal with him it makes me more tired and heartsore. I feel burnt out on Tails.

In other news: If anyone cares, WhaleRider moved out... and went on a date with my other friend! HA HA HAAAA! She came over to my place after and was all glowy-bubbly, and it was all just so damn cute. I am totally 'shipping them right now :p I feel like a voyeur, though! I want the people I love to be so very, very happy.
 
The picture I'm seeing in my mind, is that you, being somewhat more level hearted and practical of spirit, grieved (and likely still do) in your more quiet manner and attempt to heal and wish to take stock of what is left and try to see what is still there, still maybe good, worth living for. Reaffirming life in the wake of loss, healing to move on but never forgetting.

Tails on the other hand needs must have the wailing and screaming at the world and at you that the SKY IS FALLING and if you are not just as dramatic in your grief as he is (which would never happen since you aren't him) then you "don't get it" or you are almost insulting his feelings because CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THE SKY HAS FALLEN? HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY CONTINUE TO FUNCTION LIKE THINGS ARE OK?? Because you are different from him. And he can't see, understand, or accept that. So there might be a piece that feels a NEED to provoke an intense reaction out of you. A piece he might not be self-aware enough to understand is in play. I wonder. ??

Regardless, I find it very understandable that this is burning you out. One can only take another person's high-energy emotional productions for so long when one is not as inclined to indulge in such. And I am glad that you seem to understand that defining your life with grief doesn't do greater justice to the memory of your loved one. In fact they certainly wouldn't want you to live in misery, because they loved you...they would want you to heal.

Most of the people I've known who handled grief in the unhealthiest of ways have been men. I wonder if women are just wired by a history of watching fathers, sons, brothers and husbands go off to war or dangerous work, to manage our grief and recover and continue, if not for ourselves then for the loved ones we often still have counting on us. I don't know...but I wonder.
 
I'm so tired of thinking about Tails all the time. Even when I don't post, he is still there. Is it bad to feel like it would be a relief if we just said goodbye? Does that make me a bad person, to leave him in his pain and sorrow? I'm just so tired, and every time I have to deal with him it makes me more tired and heartsore. I feel burnt out on Tails.
Click to expand...

It's not bad to say you'd feel relief just to let him go. I did, when I decided to no longer engage with Punk. Feelings are feelings, they can't be "bad."

Like Tails, Punk has ADHD, and he IS bipolar. And he WAS codependent with his mother.

I felt like I wanted to support him in the initial stages of his first grief... but hey, he has his dad, his platonic friend who takes him to the beach, and he's in therapy too, and trying to get set up with programs through them. I am not going to continue hurting myself to "help" him. I am not a martyr. And he hasn't seemed to give my feelings a thought... when I asked him why his feelings had changed so drastically and dramatically, he had an expression on his face like he'd never even really thought about it. He finally came up with how *I* was "broken" or "damaged" by my association with the "before time." Hey, dude, I'm not the broken one, OK?

If I was just an escape from his problems before, and I still am a mere escape now, but I am not even getting my needs met by being his non sexual bandaid now, forget it!

It seems like, from his attitude now, all I ever was to him was a NSA FWB, and I definitely don't want that in a relationship.
 
Spork, it certainly does feel like that for sure- whether or not that is his experience I may never know. I suspect the (generally) healthier response women have to grief etc has more to do with our social training than a true evolutionary/genetic/what have you difference. I don't hang out with non-related kids often, but I was a canoe guide taking groups of teens through some rather extreme wilderness areas (no roads, helicopter-access only, and sometimes not even that) for quite a while. I noticed that the adult leaders definitely taught emotional management different to the girls vs the boys. When the girls has interpersonal conflicts they were encouraged to talk it out- often with an adult present- and to smooth over, compromise, etc. Basically, to process their emotions and come up with a cooperative solution. The boys meanwhile, were basically told to "tough it out" either by ignoring the situation, turning into a joke at their expense or at the expense of the other person, or to get angry- no matter what the actual emotions were. Extremely sad? Get angry. Very afraid? Get angry. Jealous? Get angry. I guess I'm saying that I think (childless person that I am; keep in mind I am pontificating from a pulpit made of nothing but supposition and observation) there is a disconnect between how different genders are taught to manage their emotions. Not that I think that is an excuse for poor behaviour, by the way- we are all eventually adults. We can choose to encourage growth in areas we feel need work, be that intellectually, emotionally, whatever. There are resources out there: I found them!

Magdlyn, I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very painful. Fromyour blog, though, it sounds like you are working through it from a healthy place of self-respect. I applaud that!


Things here have been busy as usual. I have an art show coming up in a few weeks that I'm fantastically stressed over, and another in the new year that is slowly raising my anxiety level too. I have a bunch of pre-Christmas commissions too that I am slowly backsliding on: I may have over-committed! I'll dig the time out somewhere, somehow. I already accepted the deposits: can't back out now I guess. Most of them are pretty cool ideas, so at least I'm excited to work on them. One piece finally went home, which was a relief both artistically, practically (it's huge and took up a bunch of space in my apartment), and financially. Thanks be, I can pay my tuition this semester!

Lab work is fine, as usual. Nothing new there.

My super good friend, the poly lady, has gone down to the States to be with her newly-non-poly guy, since he had to move there for his job. I really haven't heard from her, except that she arrived safe. Which is weird; we usually talk every day even when one of us is on vacation. I can't help but think something is going on there, but I am also less than impressed with her partner so that could just be cattiness. It's hard to tell if my concern is real or if it's because I resent a guy I don't really like taking my best friend away for months, possibly forever. She loves him like crazy so I hope she is happy and everything work out. Even if I think the guy is not nearly good enough for her.

WhaleRider is good, Sleek is good. Everyone is good here. Haven't heard from Tails or Kitten; I'm doing okay with that. l was very angry, and hurt, but now I'm feeling just sad and disappointed. Sad and disappointed I can live with; the level of anger I was feeling previous was not something I was happy to live with long-term. I feel like I'm starting to process this whole thing, finally. I still miss Jaeger, obviously: I miss the relationship I had with Tails. But this week everything feels distant, somehow. It aches, but it doesn't stab.

This past weekend was good. I got to go to the release of the owl I brought in previously. It was super nice seeing her fly away!

On the way home, I found a kitten! An intact black longhaired male about 5 months old, no tattoo, no microchip, no lost signs or posters. I called all the vet clinics around, and called the rescues. No one is looking for him. He is in really good condition (except for ear mites and being a bit thin) so he is probably someone's pet. He is definitely not feral, in any case, and already knows how to ride shoulders :p I took him to the vet, treated his ear mites, got him dewormed, and tested for FeLV/FIV. Zazzy (my current cat) and him are already trying to play footsies under the door to the bedroom where he is quarantined. I put up posters, but it's been five days with zero calls. If no one comes looking, I think I will keep him. I am currently calling him Neville Longbottom.

I honestly have no idea why I keep finding critters. Not that I am complaining!
 
Okay, so this is just a dump. I just got some feels and want to write them down. I swear to Carl Sagan that I am not a very dramatic person. I SWEAR.
Bear with me.

So, since Jaeger passed away I've been feeling lonely- along with all the other grief feelings. I'm used to sad, angry, wistful- but not lonely. It's not something I feel very often at all. I am a very independent person and it's common for me to feel stifled or claustrophobic, even with friendship. I don't know what to do with lonely.

I used to see Jaeger and Tails more days than not. More days than not we were sleeping together too. We spent most of our time touching each other, even if it was just leaning against one another on the couch watching Netflix. Now... nothing. No cuddles. Nothing. And Tails and I are done, too, so there really is nothing. My other cuddle-buddy has moved away to the USA. I've been hanging out with lots of friends and family lately, but none of them are very touch friendly and it's starting to get to the point that I feel kind of touch starved. Like, I keep offering to shake people's hands like my grandma used to do. It feels very pathetic.

Yesterday, I was asked on a date. It's someone I kind of know- I took a few classes with him in uni and we are Facebook friends. He is pretty neat-o, and a real sweetie as far as I know. And, by every burning ball of hydrogen in the sky, I was damn tempted. And then I felt pretty gross about wanting to say yes.

On one hand, cuddle-me is like "YES DO IT: CUDDLE POTENTIAL 5000+, HELL YEAH".

Practical-me says "uh, FeatherFool, you had a partner die less than three months ago and another relationship go up in flames less than a month ago. Now is not a good time for shenanigans. Also, you might be interested in an exciting fling, but he is definitely a roses-and-rings kind of guy. You are not a roses-and-rings kind of girl. That would be super unfair to him. You'd basically be using him."

So I said no, in the kindest way possible. I did explain a bit- that someone I was seeing had passed away, and that I was still dealing with that. He was really kind (as I'd expect, honestly. He's basically good peeps). I didn't go into the Tails thing. No need for drama.

I feel like I made a good, solid, adult choice. And I feel really sad that I said no. I really want cuddles, goddam it, and if the cuddles came with sex, all the better.

I guess it's just me, my body pillow, my vibrator collection for the foreseeable future.

FML.

</pityparty>
 
That does suck, FF. You want cuddles and sex and warm yummies, and with someone nice, but you don't think it's fair to him to offer yourself since he might fall hard for you and you can't give him your all just yet.

Sigh...

Maybe you could find a way to play with children? (Not for SEX, but) The kid cuddles do provide the warm feelings. Plus they are cute and funny.

Then maybe the masturbation wouldn't seem quite so empty.
 
Er. I don't really like kids. I like specific children (my sisters' kids, for example, are pretty cool: one is super into dragons and the other enjoys blowing things up- both of which I can totally get behind), but generally avoid the species on the whole.

And cuddling with kids feels... off... in this situation. Like, I won't say yes to a date with Hot Librarian Man because it would be using him, an adult who is able to give or withhold consent as he pleases: finding some rando kids to hug feels even worse. And most of the kids I know aren't all that cuddly; more bouncy and energetic. My family does not tend toward cuddly introspective people.

And, honestly, cuddling kids to me is nice (I quite enjoy snuggling my sisters kids when they are all sleepy. Until they actually fall asleep and it becomes WWIII in the bed over the covers and space) but- and this is probably really offensive- it's not much different than cuddling a pet. They don't really have choice in life. They are not a shoulder to lean on. You hold them, they don't hold you. The dynamic doesn't feel right for proper cuddles.

For a supposed cuddle fiend, I'm damned fussy aren't I? :eek:
 
Yeah, I didn't mean you'd be *using* them! Gosh. I've worked with kids for decades (as a homeschooling parent, as a lactation specialist, and currently as a child care worker), and I just love the warm fuzzies I get from playing with them, or sitting on the couch all snuggled up reading books. It's a mutual pleasure. I love kids and they love me.

Sorry. Just a suggestion for some friendly human contact.
 
Oh, no "sorry" required! I absolutely appreciate your suggestion: you gave a practical solution to my pity party- that is extremely kind of you. I can see how hanging out with kids would help a lot of people, for sure. Unfortunately, I not really a kid-person. I mean, specific kids are pretty swank, but as a whole... er, no. And the ones I do like are not real cuddly.

I do sleepovers with my niece and nephew; we have a bonfire in the courtyard, make blanket forts, and send off bottle rockets. It's pretty awesome. But I don't get warm fuzzies from them, even, mostly- and I was their nanny for nearly 2 years. I dunno why. I just don't. After they leave I'm totally exhausted and drained. I find kids a lot to handle. So, for me, cuddling kids to get my needs met feels... weird. Like, I don't generally even like them that much, but I'll use them when it suits me? Ek. My older sister is a child psychologist; she's told me that she finds spending time with kids relaxing. So it would make sense, to me, for her to naturally gravitate towards hanging out with kids when she needs a recharge. That isn't "ugh" to me at all; that just makes sense.

I'm probably not explaining myself very well- but that is my failing and not yours! :/
 
Also (and this is unrelated) I think kids are kind of like cats. If I go to pick up my niece/nephew, in the playground I am immediately surrounded by children. Kids I don't even know. It's like they know I'm kind of ambivalent about them, and they like it. Like cats. I'm not even particularly nice to them. I honestly don't get it. I'm really blunt, I swear, I'm covered in tattoos; I'm basically a terrible role model. My sister- the psychologist- knows my ambivalence very well (I love her kids, so it's cool as far as she is concerned) and thinks it's damned funny.
 
Nothing wrong with this. I sometimes say...maybe you remember the rap song from the 90's...that I am not "down with OPC" (Other People's Children.)

(Yes, I know, it was "Down with OPP" which meant naughty things. I prefer my own interpretation.)

I loved my own. The smelled right, they were like my little pets, my youngest when he was like 3 I'll never forget, he had such curls and he was adorable and I loved snuggling my babies. Now they are teenagers and my cute little darling has become this gangly skeleton dude who is taller than me, and when I try to hug him he's all elbows.

But other people's kids? No thank you. People bring their babies into the office all the time, and many of the women go absolutely nutso over 'em. I'm in my cubicle like "nah, I'm busy." Yes, your baby is very cute. No, I do not want to hold or touch it. But...thanks? I feel really awkward about it. But then I can moon over photos of my own when they were tiny, like awww...magical.... ^.^

Definitely don't feel weird or bad that you're not gonzo over munchkins in general. Not even all parents like kids, even if we like our own.

So. Ya need an adult cuddle buddy. I imagine there has to be ways to shop for that, I mean it can't be that strange a thing to want. And I don't necessarily think that you need to be ALONE while you work out your stuff, I just think that it's good of you to keep in mind if someone will probably want something you can't offer, and just being as honest as you can with others about what you're going through and where you're at and what you're able to do, what you're really not able to do. There are people in the world looking for all SORTS of interactions. I think if you can explain what you need, you can ask for it, and sooner or later make it a reality...why not?
 
Last edited:
In the US, there are these events called Cuddle Parties. They are nonsexual gatherings designed to offer people human touch in a safe environment. I know people who run them. I personally would hate them as I don't like people I don't know touching me at all. But if there are such things where you live, you might find them helpful.
 
Chiming in on the "not down with OPC" party too. Which is sort of annoying in that everyone expects me to be, as a parent of a small person myself. (He's almost-5). Truthfully some days I barely have enough toleration of children for him, let alone any other children.
 
Whoa... it's been a while for sure. So. Updates.

Tails is gone, and I'm okay with it. Jaeger is gone... and that still aches, but at least I don''t cry every time I think about him anymore. So... progress?

Life is hectic. My art show went incredibly- shockingly- well. I sold out of all my originals which is totally redonkulous. I'm in another art sale on the 4th, and another exhibition in February, and have a meeting in two weeks to negotiate a second solo exhibition for this coming summer. Apparently the gallery owner is very pleased with my sales lol

The exhibition was a bit bizarre. There was this swank party where I was the guest of honor. I'm not really a swanky person, so it was a bit surreal to get my hairs did and make up slathered and wear this kickass red dress and shoes that straight up murdered my feet to a party celebrating me. I mean, I'm just me, right? I'm not very important, and there are lots of artists out there better than me. And mostly I can only see the problems with my pieces, so it was weird to be at a partly celebrating my works while I was thinking "ergh, that cloud needs more purple to load the bottom" or "that curve should have been shallower". Totally bizarre.

No one really knew who I was, so at first I just slunk around my own party like a traumatized cat. At one point I was standing staring at one of my favourite pieces- a portrait of two draft horses working a wheat field- and this older gentleman dressed to the nines came to stand beside me. He then went on to pontificate about the artwork- showing me the brushstrokes and how the light touched on the fur and wheat. He wasn't really mansplaining; more like he was just so enthusiastic he couldn't keep quiet. I was quite flattered, and thanked him. He stared at me for a moment, then started laughing. Apparently he'd had no idea that I was the artist! Well, that was even more flattering to tell you the truth. It turns out he owns a "rival" gallery (they are actually quite friendly with the one I sell through). At that point, Jordan the curator came over and frog-marched me around a bit to schmooze. That was pretty awkward. Still, every so often the gentleman would give me a wink while I passed by and it made me feel like I had a friend in the crowd. Jordan didn't really like it, since she's convinced that he wants to "steal me away", but I think it's likely he's just a nice guy. His gallery shows artists with much grander reputations than I.

Christmas season is always really busy. I'm basically working 65-75 hours a week right now between the lab and my art. I'm really tired, but the money is worth it. I'll probably take March off painting to recharge. If things don't cool down with the art soon, I might have to choose between one or the other, which would break my heart.

My best friend is still in the States, which totally sucks balls. And not in the fun way. Ugh. I feel like things aren't going well for her, but she won't talk to me, so there isn't much to do there. Just wait, I guess.

The kitten Neville Longbottom is crazy and sweet. I <3 him very much, even if he is hellaciously bad. He has learned how to open doors and cupboards, so my apartment now looks like I have a herd to toddlers what with all the baby-proofing stuff I have to use to keep him from eating all my Tim Hortons' coffee grounds (which he did once and had to have his stomach pumped).

It's so busy right now that I don't even have time to miss cuddles or sex, to be honest, and less time to meet people- which is probably all to the good. Imma let my life settle down a bit, work out some stuff. I'm good.

I had a really good dream the other night. I dreamed that the university I work at started offering beginner ballet lessons. I took dance as a kid, but never ballet, even though I love to watch it. In my dream, I decided to join since it was billed as "all levels welcomed!". I showed up to the class in yoga pants and a tank top, and all the other women there were wearing legit ballet leotards and tutus and had their hair done up in those tight buns. They all looked like dancers, too. Now, I am in no way built as a dancer: I got too much tits and ass (or, fits and sass as my mom puts it). Anyways, the instructor was this short gnomish German man with a thick accent and these wild bushy eyebrows. He kept barking out positions- first position, fourth position, etc- and all the dancers would immediately do them perfectly. I, however, only have the barest idea of what those are and did my best, but wobbled all over the place and even fell down. At one point, he had us do a kind of break dance move where we were supposed to hold our entire bodies parallel to the ground using only one arm. Well, I am not superhuman and had a lot of difficulty with that. Eventually I was able to lift myself off the ground about two centimeters for a split second, and called that a win. I was feeling very proud of myself, but then the other women started tittering. I looked up, and one of them said snidely to another "If she isn't a dancer, she shouldn't even dance". And I felt so small and stupid and fat and ugly. I wanted to crawl into a hole in my dream and hide. Then, the little German gnome man stalked up to her and stuck his fingers in her face. He glared at her and barked "No! She not look like dancer, fwah." The sound of ultimate dismissal. "She has heart of dancer!" Then he stabbed that gnarled finger at me, and said "You want to dance? Then DANCE! Dance that fire and heart. Dance with joy, with sadness, and anger. But DANCE."

I woke up crying.
 
Wow!!

I am glad that you have so much going on. I'm frankly jealous of the art side of your life. I can't seem to push past my blocks to make art lately. But I just got the first request for a commission in a really long time, and agreed to it, so I'm going to have to get cracking on that.

Totally feel you on the subject of the naughty cat. Mine is always looking for new and creative ways to make mischief. But aren't the damn cute and lovable even so? *sigh* The travails of keeping a fuzzy villain around.

And that dream, wow, that is amazing!! Connecting on multiple levels there, as it's both metaphorically meaningful, and for someone who can't dance but occasionally still feels moved to try, in a more literal sense too.

It is great to hear from you. *hugs* :)
 
I'm glad to hear things are going well for you, aside from kitten mischief. I am relieved to hear your pain is less.

Leetah
 
I'm glad your art career is going so well! That is fantastic.
 
Hello polyworld: I'm still here!

Everything is going... pretty well, actually. And doesn't it feel like I've now cursed myself by saying that.

I haven't heard from Tails in a long time, not since... November? October? Not sure. I hope he's doing better, but I can't think of a good way to check in with him without setting something off that I don't want to revisit. Currently I'm just leaving it alone. If he kept to his plans, he's probably gone to Peru or wherever by now with or without Kitten.

It's been six months since we lost Jaeger, and it's... yeah, that is still hard. The whole thing is hard, and still painful. But it doesn't- I don't know how to explain it- it doesn't take up as much space in me as it did. It feels like the world ended, but miraculously I'm somehow still standing, and life... goes on. Sometimes it feels bizarre and surreal. Sometimes I get weepy when I remember Jaeger or get stabs of anxiety if Tails crops up in my thoughts, but I'm laughing more. I feel more me than I have in a while.

I... er, I also met someone. A friend of a friend that I connected with through Facebook. It's a casual, FWBs kind of thing and it's... good. We talk a lot over social media and text, and we connect well as friends since we have a lot in common. The sex is good too. And the cuddles are excellent. He is poly- he has a livein girlfriend and they have a preteen child together, and his partner has another longterm boyfriend. His girlfriend is hilarious, and her boyfriend is a neat person. The whole thing feels easy and simple, which is what both he and I were looking for. It's still pretty new, but it's nice. I don't think I am emotionally ready for anther heart-risky relationship, to tell you the truth. I think I am still healing. I like how this new thing makes me feel, though. He is very kind, and generous, and we laugh a lot together. It feels easy, and I want easy, at least for now.

I have another art show coming up next month, and my 30th birthday too. It feels like a lot in one month, but I'm sure I'll manage.

Anyways. I just thought I'd post an update on what's been going on in FeatherFool Land.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top