Nobody's Fool

It's been a month. I can hardly believe it, even still.

This week has been difficult. Well, all the last few weeks have been difficult. I'm coming to wonder if Tails' and I's relationship will ever recover. It seems to be twisting out of all recognition- what little of it that remains. He hasn't texted me since he came over. I miss my fiery passionate man, but I don't know what to do with Grief Tails and our conflicting needs.

He needs time, I'm sure. But I'm not sure I can give it.

I've been thinking about his last visit a lot. I think the issues I was having were a mishmash of things. I am so afraid that Tails and I are over, and I will never have my funny brilliant friend again. I think the changed feel of our intimacies- as in, the near total lack of any actual intimacy- just reinforced my fear. If this has changed, surely it's a symptom of larger changes is a pretty good summary of how I was feeling about it. Insecurity and any kind of fear during sex absolutely dredge up some pretty awful stuff for me. It's not necessarily the missing tenderness and care (I've has sexual relationships that were more or less just sex before); it's the change that scares me. To go from hot and sweet, both emotionally and sexually, to almost mechanical was jarring.

All I know for sure, though, is that I don't want to do that again. Not now, not when I'm wondering if I will ever even see him again, or when I'm worrying that if I do my presence might be a burden to him. Tails deserves to have whatever he needs, but I have limits on what I can provide. It might not be fair, but I am not sure that my feelings about disconnected sex with him could be changed, or- and this is possibly more honest- if I even want to. It seems like a lot of work and emotional pain for the "reward" of sex that was not fun. I want everything from him, sexually speaking: hot and sweet with love... or nothing at all.

Ugh. I'm sick of talking about Tails.

WhaleRider arrived safely, and is happily settled in my spare bedroom. I've missed him so much! He is a very polite houseguest and so quiet sometimes I forget he is even here! He's short, only about two inches taller than me- so really short for a guy- but broad. He's pretty swarthy (his word choice, not mine), and has grown this crazy bushman beard. In all, he looks more than a little like a dwarf straight out of Tolkien. He broke his nose at some point- it's just a bit crooked now. I keep forgetting to ask him about it.

He is full of awesome stories about the Inuit people he lived with, the whales he loves, and the land he lived off for years. He is an excellent storyteller. Sunday and Monday he mostly slept. Tuesday we hung out and watched The Force Awakens (he hadn't seen it yet). Wednesday he went out to see a few apartments while I was at work. We got our hands on a couple of free football game tickets for the evening. The game was delayed really late because of a crazy storm so we left and ended up finishing a bottle of wine on my balcony, watching the lightning. It was not a bad way to spend a night. I don't think there are any plans for this weekend, though: I'm getting behind on my artwork, so I really have to buckle down and get something done.

I went to see Ghostbusters (again) tonight with my mom, aunts, sisters, and a bunch of cousins. It was just as good as the first time! Highly recommended; very funny.
 
I've heard some criticism of Ghostbusters and I'm not sure if I'll like it or not based on the previews I've seen. But I'm gonna have to watch it at some point, because a whole BUNCH of my friends went to be extras in it.

If you ever watch it again, look among crowds, groups, people, (the "extras") for a green mohawk hairstyle. The girl sporting it is my good friend Silke. She is probably the most visible of my friends who did this.

Your friend sounds really interesting! I'm glad that you have a storyteller around to help you out of your own head some. Sounds like a good thing.
 
Funny, Spork, I have a couple MA acquaintances who were also extras in Ghostbusters!

FF I am still heartbroken for you that Tails can't wrap his head around treating you decently.

Whalerider sounds like such a cool guy and I am glad he is there to cheer you and care for you!
 
I know SEVERAL people who were MA extras in Ghostbusters. The night before official opening day, my boyfriend rented a cinema so those extras who wanted to, and their friends and family, could all see the movie. It really wasn't nearly as bad as some of the reviews are making it out to be, at least in my opinion.

Feather, I'm sorry your relationship with Tails is still struggling. Hopefully time with other friends and family will give you some happiness.
 
KC43 said:
I know SEVERAL people who were MA extras in Ghostbusters. The night before official opening day, my boyfriend rented a cinema so those extras who wanted to, and their friends and family, could all see the movie. It really wasn't nearly as bad as some of the reviews are making it out to be, at least in my opinion.

Feather, I'm sorry your relationship with Tails is still struggling. Hopefully time with other friends and family will give you some happiness.
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Your friends are the extras I met, lol!
 
I'm not sure why Ghostbusters is getting all these bad reviews, to be honest. The original Ghostbusters, while a classic, was not a good movie and nobody bats an eye. I thought the new one was pretty enjoyable. It had all my favourite Ghostbusters jokes, some new ones, funny people being funny, decent graphics, and some awesome cameos: that's basically all I wanted, and it delivered. I'll save expectations for high-brow humour and introspection for another movie. I think people in general are taking the reboot way too seriously. Did I have a good time? Yes? Good enough! :)

...Plus I'm pretty sure Melissa McCarthy and I are destined to be BFFs so I try and support all her endeavors. We just live so far away from each other that we haven't met yet. Curses! :p
 
KC43 said:
I know SEVERAL people who were MA extras in Ghostbusters. The night before official opening day, my boyfriend rented a cinema so those extras who wanted to, and their friends and family, could all see the movie. It really wasn't nearly as bad as some of the reviews are making it out to be, at least in my opinion.

Feather, I'm sorry your relationship with Tails is still struggling. Hopefully time with other friends and family will give you some happiness.
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Chops works with someone who was an extra in the movie. I think all of our degrees of separation just got... weirder? :p

Still want to see the movie. I love, love, LOVE Leslie Jones. I've heard great things about the film.
 
I heard that the writing was lame to nonexistent, and that the actresses were just expected to ham it up and try to be funny, which is where you get all the dancing around and acting like women out with their zany gal pals shtick.

??

I haven't seen it yet, so I can't really be too critical.

My issue is just that it drives me bananas when they reboot old movies that I love the originals of, especially if my love of them is culty and nostalgic. There are a lot of films that I just don't think needed to be remade. Just thinking about the Willy Wonka remake, gives me the stabby feelings. I will never watch that, and Johnny Depp should be ashamed of himself.

"You're a naughty boy, Johnny." *shakes finger*

Furthermore though, as a reader, I feel that there are a bajillion books in the world that could benefit from having their stories adapted to film. We've already seen how successful that can be, and how much money it can bring for the authors and the film studios and all...I mean, Harry Potter? Lord of the Rings? Even in TV with Game of Thrones! With the production available to put into movies and TV, the time is now to bring these books to life and do them the justice that the readers crave.

I wish that Hollywood would do more of that, and less screwing around with classic films. Just, in general.

Although I have to say there's a remake of the old Rollerball (original 1975, remake 2002) that I do think is much better than the original, and I love...and my favorite Dracula film was the one with Gary Oldman.

But speaking of Ghostbusters, have I mentioned my Vigo poster...? Yes? OK nevermind. ;)
 
The thing with the Ghostbusters reboot, though, is they didn't try to remake the original. They took the *concept* (a group of people who believe in ghosts fight them and save NYC) but ran with it in a slightly different direction. The personalities of Melissa McCarthy's and Kate McKinnon's characters can be correlated to Bill Murray's and Harold Ramis's in the original, but with Kate McKinnon's, I believe that was an intentional homage/memorial to Ramis. I don't think the other two main characters really correlate to the other two original Ghostbusters at all, but I would have to rewatch that to be sure.

Some of the negative feedback I've seen is from people who, without seeing the movie, are assuming it's "original Ghostbusters but with women", and it isn't.

To me, the Johnny Depp "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" was more of a direct remake of "Willy Wonka," but one that tried to stay a bit closer to the source material (Roald Dahl's novel). Ghostbusters 2016 is more of a reworking of the concept into something different; it takes place, at least by inference, in an alternate-universe NYC where the events of the original never occurred. Or if they did, someone "flashy-thingied" the entire population of the city to wipe their memories...Just as an example, the cameo actors did *not* portray the characters they portrayed in the original; they were completely different characters that had nothing to do with the primary plot.
 
That was definitely a part of what I enjoyed about the movie: it was all new content, with anew nods to old nostalgic stuff. But again, I have a pretty low threshold for deciding a movie was enjoyable.

Also, Chris Hemsworth, in glasses. Day-am. I'd climb that man like a tree... as long as he kept his mouth shut :p He seems to prefer the tall willowy types, though, so that puts me out of the running in any case.

And... I can't stand Johnny Depp. The man makes my skin crawl. I don't understand why he has such a huge following. Him, Nicholas Cage, Jim Carrey and Adam Sandler are just big NOPES to me. I don't think I've enjoyed a single movie with any of those actors in it.

In other news...

WhaleRider is still chilling at my place. He's such a good guest it's a bit creepy. Picks up his towels, puts the seat down, cleans up his bear hair from the sink. Like, who does that?? I'm 99% sure he and a neighbor/co-worker/friend of mine are starting up a flirtation, which is awesome. Sleek (my coworker friend) is an ex-model: she's absolutely freaking gorgeous, and better yet takes no shit from anyone. She is also wicked smart and tremendously eco-conscious. I can totally see them together. She has her heart broken almost two years ago, and has been pretty wary about the dating scene since. Sleek usually goes with the dumbass gym-rat type, with predictable results. I think WhaleRider is not like anyone she's been interested in before. And he... well. The first time he and I were at the pool and Sleek joined us in her eenie meenie pink string bikini he looked like someone had beaned him with a 2x4. He actually forgot to swim and went under. Thought he was drowning for a second! He seemed equally surprised to find out that she works with me at the genetics lab. Sleek does not look like someone who has a brain in her head, but she certainly does. Lady is the whole package, basically. I've been inviting Sleek over for dinner etc more often, since she has been asking me about him and he about her. Heh heh, matchmaker FeatherFool, at your service! Watching them circle around each other is adorable. They are both such good peeps.

In me-and-Tails world, we kind of... no, no "kind of". We ended up having a pretty bad fight. Which is unusual, since I don't really fight. I debate and if it gets heated I leave until things calm down, and return later return to address the issue. I don't like yelling and shouting and so on. Nothing gets resolved that way and you just get hurt, or you end up accidentally hurting the other person. It's no way to resolve differences.

Anyways. He called and wanted to come over again- read as: have bad sex. I said no thanks. He pressed, wanted to know why he couldn't come over when I'd been "begging" for his attention previously. His tone was pretty snotty. I explained that I hadn't enjoyed the last time he came over, and that for me sex without at least friendship was a no-go, and that lately- what with his distance, etc- I am not feeling like we are making the kind of connection I need. I want to hold off on sex until we figure out if we can me-and-Tails at all. He got really mad, and started shouting at me. I asked him to not shout at me, and that if he continued I would not be a part of the conversation anymore. He just kept yelling that he was dealing with "stuff" right now and the "one thing" he needed from me I was withholding from him, and what kind of girlfriend did I think I was, I was obviously punishing him, yadda yadda yadda.

I hung up. I refuse to be shouted at over the phone. Fair warning: if you can't speak like a reasonable individual then I will not speak to you at all.

He called back, and shouted at me again. So I hung up again.

The next time he called he was a lot calmer, but also a lot angrier. He told me that he didn't need me after all, since apparently he and Kitten have been sleeping together. If it's true, and he didn't just say that to try and hurt me, I wouldn't be terribly surprised. And yeah, I'm still pissed. Agreements we made about informing each other of additional partners were not renegotiated: as far as I'm concerned they should still stand. Him sexing up Kitten then sleeping with me puts my health, her health, and his heath in jeopardy. Maybe he doesn't care about that, but I sure as hell do, and I hope she does too. I don't care if they are sleeping together: I care about the lack of communication, the lack of consideration for my well-being, and breaking agreements. That is straight up shit behaviour. And if it isn't true, that is still shit behaviour: trying to hurt me because I won't sleep with him until we figure out how to relationship again is a douchcanoe move.

Who is this person, even? where is Tails? I'd never in a million years expected this kind of behaviour from him. I'm very angry and disappointed. None of these things had to be the issues they have become. Want to sleep with Kitten? Sure, go ahead. I like Kitten (even though I now wonder if she knew that I didn't have enough information to consent to this thing? Hm). But don't avoid telling me about it then use it to try and... what? What was his plan? Browbeat me into having sex with him? How would that even work?? I don't understand his motivations right now.

Anyways, I expressed that I was disappointed with him for breaking our agreement, and that I did not appreciate the news being used as a weapon in an argument. I also asked him about her health history etc. He got all huffy- I guess maybe he expected me to start crying or something? Like I'd give him the satisfaction! At that point I'd rather have carved out my own eyeballs than cry. I said that I want no further contact with him until he can talk to and treat me respectfully and considerately. I don't care if he is in mourning. I don't care that he is likely fighting depression and god knows what else. Those are not reasons to shout at me, discount my feelings and needs, risk my health, and use broken promises to hurt me. I am no one's punching bag. If you need to take your emotions out on someone, go find someone else.

Then he started crying on the phone, about how much he missed Jaeger and how hard it all is. It felt pretty manipulative to me, so honestly I was somewhat less than sympathetic. You don't get to shout at me then turn around and get me to coddle you and your feelings. Ugh. I said I was sorry he was having such a hard time, and suggested the he talk about his difficulties to his grief counselor because I'm not going to be able to help him with those feelings as our situation stands. Then he got mad again, and hung up on me. Tit for tat, I suppose.

Like, what the actual fuck is happening with him? It's like he's become a totally different person. And I don't like that person at all. Ugh. I'd love to trade this weirdo Tails for my Tails just about now!
 
In my sense of feeling things out with metaphor and imagery, I feel like in the period of isolation, his well turned somewhat stagnant, he's become too used to soaking in the poison of toxic thoughts. Now he's made contact with you again, he is not even thinking about what he's doing to another human being, he's gotten in the habit of dwelling only on his own feelings. So he's spewing poison out into the conduit between the two of you, and while he feels he is finally opening up and sharing energy, he's not getting that it's bad energy right now, and you don't deserve it.

Maybe on some level he sort of expects you to be full of negative poison too, maybe he thinks you can lance each other's wounds and just blast out the bad stuff at each other until it's gone? Or maybe his self-pitying self has turned self-destructive...sometimes when we lose someone so important to us, we nuke every other good thing so we can really sit there and wallow in misery, having simply destroyed the world, we can then truly sit in the ashes and weep. And only by finding good things that are completely new and fresh can there be hope. That would make me very sad to hear, if this sort of machinery is at work in him. I don't have it in me to behave like this, but I try to make sense of how others do, and I've seen similar things before.

My position would be, "I am finding your behavior highly hurtful and destructive. I understand your grief enough, to try very hard not to judge you too harshly for what you're doing. But that doesn't mean I will tolerate cruelty being aimed in my direction. Hurting me, won't make you hurt less. And you have been utterly insensitive to the fact that I'm hurting, too. I'd rather have no relationship with you, than a toxic one, so if I can help you heal, please let me know, but if you only want a target to vent venom at, I do not consent to that."
 
Good for you for standing up for yourself. He isn't behaving in a healthy way, and enabling him (to the detriment of YOUR mental health) isn't a good solution. I'm so sorry that you're going through all this.
 
I really can't express how sorry I am that Tails has gone off the rails! It's not enough you're grieving, and wanting touch, he has so little human decency left he's apparently friendly fucking his ex from 10 years ago instead of his current lover (you), and meanwhile basically raping you and demanding you bend over and take it again.

I'm going through something a little similar and it's painful enough. Your experience is excruciating! Ugh, my stomach goes into knots just thinking about it. It is so wrong he is abusing you like this. So hard when he was so nice and wonderful before. Who would have guessed his grief would have done such a Mr Hyde on his ass? I hope you can make the right boundaries and decisions and go no contact, if that's what it takes. (((hugs)))

So glad you have Whalerider there and his little budding thing going on with your friend. Bless their hearts. I hope it goes smoothly for them, and stays entertaining and heart-warming for you. I am also glad he is "too good" of a guest! Here's to men who clean up after themselves!! *clink*
 
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Tails is so steeped in his grief that he likely doesn't realize nor understand that you are grieving and hurting just as much as he is. My guess is that if you said to him, "Do you think you are the only one grieving and missing Jaeger? Do you think you're the only one who feels the emptiness without him? I lost him, too", Tails would probably be shocked. He feels alone and like his grief is greater than anyone else's, I think.
 
Whoa whoa Magdlyn. "Rape" covers a very specific set of circumstances and I feel it's inappropriate for the situation. I want to be perfectly clear on this point: there was most definitely consent between Tails and I. Just because I didn't enjoy myself doesn't make it rape. I said yes and kept saying yes, knowingly and with a clear head. There was no way for Tails to know how I'd feel about it afterwards: he isn't a mind reader or a prognosticator. Hell, I didn't even know how I'd feel about it afterwards! I feel that we had a mismatch of needs and expectations, and epically bad communication about those things. Again, these issues do not in my mind constitute anything like rape. While whining that I was saying no, and trying to manipulate me back into bed was unacceptable to me, I honestly don't think he is in his right mind right now. I don't think he even realized what he was saying meant. Or... maybe he did, and that was done to hurt me, too. He certainly knows enough about my past to know what buttons would hurt most. I don't know whats going on in his head, to be honest. Maybe I'm just damned paranoid about emotional shit (actually, I know I am). Still, I'm more than capable of saying no to things I don't want.

And, again, I really don't mind if he and Kitten are messing up his bed sheets. More power to them. I have no interest in sex with him at the moment, so if that is something he needs he is welcome to find it elsewhere. However, I did expect a heads up, and I find it upsetting that the info was used as a weapon during a disagreement.

I also don't think his behaviour constitutes abuse. One fight does not abuse make. I feel like there would need to be an established pattern of behaviour to fit that label. Is he being kind of a shit? Yeah. But I don't feel downtrodden, afraid, or you know... Abused. I feel mad, confused, and frustrated. I feel like he is making bad decision after bad decision, with no end in sight. I don't want to see him spiral down into self-destruction, which is where it seems he is headed.

Spork, so much of what you say makes sense. It sure seems to me that he needs something lanced. I agree he sees what he is doing as a kind of "reaching out", which is what I was encouraging him to do. I feel hypocritical for being all "let me help you!" and then when he actually asks for help, saying "I don't want to help you that way!". You have such a way with words: I wish I'd had those words when I was trying to explain my thoughts to him. I'm not great at expressing myself on the spot. I sometimes need to think about things for a long time, sort out my feelings, then express them: another reason I don't like shout-fighting! My brain just does not process fast enough.

nycindie, I've said that to him, almost verbatim. He doesn't seem to get it, or refuses to get it. I don't think my words are going to reach him at this point. I don't know if anything will. I'm certain he feels like his grief is greater than any other's, and maybe he is right. I've never had a relationship like he and Jaeger did, but I can see how someone would grieve deeper at the loss of such an entrenched relationship. They were together basically from high school, were each others' first loves. Love at first sight, all that jazz. But now I think Tails doesn't know how to be Tails without Jaeger. It's like he's hoarding his pain. I wonder if he wants me to lash out and hurt him, too. The way he is behaving is nearly tailor-made to make me go berserk. Or, maybe he just wants everyone around him to hurt as much as he is. Maybe he feels that his pain is the last piece of Jaeger he has, and he refuses to let even the tiniest bit go. I don't know.

But even while wondering these things, I can't let him speak to me like that. I can sympathize with his pain, hurt, and anger, but that does not excuse him trying to hurt me.

Ugh Tails, what am I going to do with you? I hope to Hell that he is actually going to his grief counseling sessions. I have my own counseling session next week, so hopefully I'll have some help sorting out what the hell is going on. I wonder if I could get Tails to go to a session with me? Maybe that would clear some things up.
 
Well, when I said rape, I said he was "basically" raping you. I meant to express that cold heartless way he mechanically fucked you, hardly spoke, and left. Not actual rape. You called it "bad sex." And then the angry behavior, yelling, coupled with that, I called abuse.

You can just call it "hurt." Maybe it's not a pattern of abuse, but he is consistently hurting you and acting in inhumane ways in the past weeks. Yelling, calling you back to yell more, breaking agreements, throwing his sex with Kitten in your face, the "lack of consideration for your feelings," etc., as you related.

Sorry for my choice of words.
 
I'm glad I'm making sense, Featherfool, but don't imagine for one moment I'd find those clever words in a moment they should be spoken out loud. Nope.

I'm far better at expressing myself in writing, than vocally, and fighting...like shouting, as you describe, scares me. So I wouldn't have been in any better shape. I'm not sure if I'd have even been able to stand up for myself as well as you did, I'd have probably placated, de-escalated, promised anything he wants, gaslighted MYSELF (which I used to do at the first sign of resistance from my ex, back down on my points and say I must have been crazy/it's hormones/I need therapy...) and then maybe if I felt strongly, I might email him my actual thoughts later. That's probably how I would have ACTUALLY behaved. Yeah, I've had a LOT to learn in the last year. And I am still working on it.

So anyhow. I think what would bother me the most about this situation, is not knowing if there is good cause and reason to keep trying and being patient with Tails. Like, not being able to know if he's just still working his way through stages and grief and he'll get over it in time...or if he has permanently associated your relationship with the pain of losing Jaeger to the point that he won't be able to do healthy relating with you again, on the other side of this someday. That's the bit that would be driving me bananas. I might consider speaking to grief counselors, I imagine they've seen this pattern of behavior a million times, and see what your odds are. It's a question of whether it's worth putting up with it, and whether that will do any good for either of you in the long run.
 
Magdlyn said:
Well, when I said rape, I said he was "basically" raping you.
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I'm just a bit sensitive to language, I suppose. And I worry that, since he knows I blog here, he will one day read this and be hurt thinking I thought of him that way, which I don't.

No word from Tails since we had our disagreement, just stony silence. I texted him, letting him know that when he is ready to talk we can, but until then I will leave him alone. Sigh. If his goal was to drive me away and live in the ashes of his heart, well, good job. A+, gold star. Between the silence and the personality changes, and my own lack of practice with relationshipping, I'm not really sure where we can go from here if he isn't able to compromise at all.

I also don't really have time to brood over him, if I was so inclined. I have art shows coming out my ears right now (one in November, one in February, one in April) and commissions for Christmas, and the yearly inspection for my lab job is coming up in a few weeks, so I'm barely treading water time-wise as it is. At least the creation process is a good outlet. I'm pretty pleased with the current balance of art-for-hire and self-driven art. Sometimes it gets a bit too commission-heavy, and I start getting angsty because I don't have time to create the things in my head. Art for other people is fun and challenging (and it pays well), but it doesn't fill my soul like creating art for me does.

WhaleRider found an apartment for September 1, so he is gone soon. I'll miss having him around! He has taken over a lot of the chores, since I'm so busy and it's been wonderful having a live-in maid :p

Gossip time:
My poly friend's partner broke up with his other GF (shoooocking I know, the lady was a straight up twit) and is now moving to the US of A for a new job. Apparently my friend is planning on moving with him. NOOOOOOO!!! Ugh. I hate when friends move away. They always are like "we will still be friends, don't worry!" and then you never see them again. Except WhaleRider. But he is different; he couldn't see anyone since he was stranded in the Land of the Midnight Sun.

I also rescued an owl today! She's hurt her wing, and couldn't fly. She was in our courtyard and there was a bunch of people discussing what to do with her. Well, I've worked with wildlife for years so I grabbed by spare dog kennel, my wildlife gloves, grabbed her up, stuffed her in and one of my neighbors drove us to the wildlife rehab I volunteer with. Turns out she probably collided with a telephone pole while hunting (owls are kinda dumb) but the break is clean and she is fat and healthy otherwise so we expect a full recovery. One I figure out how to post pictures, I will!
 
Kitten sent me an email apologizing blah blah blah. It was not a good apology: one of those where it goes "I'm sorry I knew the boundaries of yours and Tails relationship and that I didn't respect them and talk to you about me and Tails' reigniting our fling, but you..." Seriously, if you ever apologize, don't add a "but" to it. From what I understand, apparently my presence is so painful for Tails that neither felt comfortable talking to me about whatever is going on between them. This, according to how I interpreted the email, means that it was just easier to not talk to me. Bullshit, I say. Just because it's not easy doesn't mean it shouldn't have been done. Email or text are pretty safe ways to communicate intent, I feel. Eh, whatever.

I haven't heard from Tails at all, so I'm guessing we're just done now? From Kitten's email I surmise that Tails is not doing very well. I think at this point I don't have much choice but to watch him go off and bury himself in his sadness. Well, not actually watch I guess since I don't have any life entanglement with him; no real mutual friendships, etc. And I don't want to watch him spiral any further if I'm honest.

The whole situation just feels like shit. It feels like I'm grieving Tails, too.

It's been two months since Jaeger's accident. Two months since I felt his arms around me, squeezing me until I squeaked. Two months since I surprised him into his huge laugh, since Tails and I pinned him down and tickled him until he cried. Two months since we lay quietly on the bed tracing the features of each other's faces, since he growled my name in that way that made me shiver. Since I watched him sleep like a damn creeper, because my heart hurt so much with joy that I couldn't sleep. It feels like forever, and like a blink of time.

Jaeger, I'm sorry I couldn't take better care of Tails, man. He just won't let me.

Ahh, I miss him.
 
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