I'm starting to feel like I'm taking up too much of everyone's time; after all this is a polyamory discussion forum, and there are pending questions from people who have a variable number of partners rather than being permanently flatlined at zero
You could answer mine, I am single at the moment and at home with a young baby, so, I am bored and looking for adult conversation, you are not talking me away from any exciting Poly life so, you don't have to feel guilty.
3. I don't think I'm depressed, but let's say I might be wrong about that.
You are wrong and you are. Unless you are that creepy dude who has no social skills and keeps hitting on 22 year olds.....because I know that dude, let's call him Rob, now Rob was married for years, (it was he who introduced me to the concept of Polyamory actually but we never had an intimate relationship, we just used to hang out as friends). His wife was ok about them opening up the relationship for kink reasons (he was into it, she wasn't) so he, went investigating it but never really connected with anyone so their relationship still continued to be entirely monogamous.
But then she left him, Rob had to start out again in his late 40s and he really hasn't got the best social skills plus, he loves to hit on women far too young for him. A 49 year old man trying to chat up a University undergrad is embarrassing, especially since he is so bad at it anyway.
Rob however, has just got engaged
To a woman who is age appropriate.
So....are you the creepy guy going after teenagers or is this depression because I refuse to believe that any man of your age feels ready for the knackers yard.
Anyway, in case you'd still like to know, I live in Seattle and am in my early 40's.
That's the perfect age range for me and I am single, would be happy to grow old with someone and don't give a toss about your past. It is actually your present, at least your present state of mind which makes you so thoroughly unappealing.
Stop blaming it on the Poly, it isn't Poly that has ruined your chances, it is you who is ruining them now.