Hello. Just thought I would say hi.
As you can see I am no longer a mod any more after about five years of daily attention to this forum. Strangely enough no one seemed to notice I was gone about a month ago. Or at least didn't make mention of it to me anyway. What a weird feeling to suddenly not do something every day and no one say a word... bizarre.
So here I am. Very happy and very content to be living each day flying by the seat of my pants more in love with Mono than ever and most importantly more in love with ME than ever. I could go on for ever just me, myself and I and be quite content these days. The interesting thing about that is that I hear very little from others if I don't reach out myself and am not bothered by that. I figure if people want to know me they will put that effort in.
In the mean time things come up and I am free to do them or not as I see fit. No more excessive google calender. It feel awesome to look at it sometimes and see that every night is free and know that exciting things come up in the moment.
We, our house, are settled nicely and are content to make plans and enjoy each other as we are. We have a bizarre family to those in the outside world but it doesn't rock our boat too much. We carry on and live honestly and with pride. We all benefit.
In the mean time I fantasize about having my own place one day. Even my own dishes and furniture. I actually look at house items in terms of what I like rather than what I think others would like. I have never done that before.
It remains that until Mono and I aren't done with each other until we are all done living the way we do, until there is no reason to all stay together, until there is some evidence that one or all of us doesn't benefit from our arrangement, until some unforeseeable future issue comes up or situation. We remain where we are and are content to be each others one and only. That change is making us blossom I think. We look different, feel different and have a trust that is building around monogamy for the first time. It feels right and therefore is right, for now. If that should change in the future I am pretty certain we will move on to others and never try poly again with each other. I can't say for sure, but then who can.
I have some major hesitations about poly now and some big arguments against it for many reasons. I can see the benefit in some situations and can see how others are on a path that is theirs and theirs alone and that I can only, and should only, observe. I observe and support where I can but remain an advocate for forethought, making hard choices and for seeing things to full circle.
Sometimes people's paths include poly but I in no way believe that poly has to be and is something to strive for as a forever alternative to honest monogamy (http://rhetcomppolydiss.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/honest-monogamy/
). Relationships are as fluid as everything in life to me. There is no need to continue trying poly if it isn't going to work as much as there is no reason to keep trying to be monogamous if it isn't going to work for the relationship one is in. There is also no need to think that there is one solution for every relationship. Some just don't work with a poly model and that is okay and should be respected. I am glad I figured this out and am now learning monogamy for the first time in most of my adult life.
I have a lot of rules to catch up on and fight against in my life now as I don't tell anyone new I meet that we ever were anything but RP and Mono. I feel like a fish out of water and believe that the only way to survive is to continue working on me. After all, I am all I really have.
Interesting times continue.