LovingRadiance
Active member
Well (ironically) the statement I made to Maca last night seems a fitting response in your circumstance.
We were having a similar discussion about kids and such. He was saying that he didn't see how we could both live in this house (2400 square feet and by next summer it will have an additional 400-600 square feet addition) without "making each other miserable" and "making the kids miserable with our fighting".
My response was this:
"The way I see it, we can either be mature adults and choose not to fight about what we have already agreed is over (our relationship); and make a home life for the kids that is stable in the home they have both lived in their entire lives. We can split up our time so that we each have time away from the house to live our own lives (we already agreed no potentials or lovers are allowed on the property) but the kids will maintain their home and always have a parent available.
OR
He can live elsewhere (as he has been doing for over a year and more than half of each year the last 7 years; albeit using work as an excuse)and the kids will have to struggle between two homes (which they both express that they don't want to do) and struggle with the additional frustration of not having the consistency and stability that they need as children and moreso because they are both ADHD.
His response was to avoid the statement altogether and point out that if he took our youngest with him to Kodiak, it would be very difficult for him because he would be all alone trying to care for her and at least here I have support from extended family and friends.
WELL NO SHIT.
This not but minutes after he point blank stated that he does NOT want to remain in Kodiak. Um... so why are you even pointing that out?
The bottom line is-I'm not leaving the kids. He was at least smart enough to not suggest that. But if he did, I would probably just raise an eyebrow silently.
We were having a similar discussion about kids and such. He was saying that he didn't see how we could both live in this house (2400 square feet and by next summer it will have an additional 400-600 square feet addition) without "making each other miserable" and "making the kids miserable with our fighting".
My response was this:
"The way I see it, we can either be mature adults and choose not to fight about what we have already agreed is over (our relationship); and make a home life for the kids that is stable in the home they have both lived in their entire lives. We can split up our time so that we each have time away from the house to live our own lives (we already agreed no potentials or lovers are allowed on the property) but the kids will maintain their home and always have a parent available.
OR
He can live elsewhere (as he has been doing for over a year and more than half of each year the last 7 years; albeit using work as an excuse)and the kids will have to struggle between two homes (which they both express that they don't want to do) and struggle with the additional frustration of not having the consistency and stability that they need as children and moreso because they are both ADHD.
His response was to avoid the statement altogether and point out that if he took our youngest with him to Kodiak, it would be very difficult for him because he would be all alone trying to care for her and at least here I have support from extended family and friends.
WELL NO SHIT.
This not but minutes after he point blank stated that he does NOT want to remain in Kodiak. Um... so why are you even pointing that out?
The bottom line is-I'm not leaving the kids. He was at least smart enough to not suggest that. But if he did, I would probably just raise an eyebrow silently.