kdt26417-- Thanks.
I'm gonna switch over to one of the other Great Controversies for a moment.
I was just in a facebook group about polyamory, where a young man posted that because his greatest turn on is getting his partner off, yet alas he is "cursed" with circumcision, he wants ideas on how to improve his stamina.
Hoo boy.
Well of course we got the anti-circ activists in there...but I felt that was a bit beside the point. My own reaction was more along the lines of, "THIS again??"
And that reaction had nothing to do with his circ status. Had everything to do with:
-If I last longer, she'll get off more.
-Partner getting off is all about my D.
-Partner getting off is all about my ego.
Etc.
Ya know... In my life, I had 33 young guys before my x-hubs. They all thought more or less like that, they would "do their thing" and assume I got what I needed out of it. Let me say that I did not, and hurt feelings would ensue...but they didn't know what to do other than to "bang away at it longer!" No thank you.
Then x-hubs. With him I finally learned/realized that my satisfaction was my own to make happen, and if I wasn't just getting there from anything he was doing, well, I was certainly welcome to help out. And I did. And the "finishes" that resulted were fleeting, fluttery, and not really that satisfying. But at least they happened.
Then the men AFTER. Oh. My. God. My climaxes went from being like a little butterfly fluttering by, landing for a moment and then fluttering elusively off...to those massive Japanese drums pounding through my entire body. And I'm still learning new ways that I can be pleased, wow wow wow. I used to think that no partner could MAKE ME finish...now I know they can. If they know what they're doing. And they had better know that it's not really about their D.
In fact it just isn't, really, at all. Except insofar as enjoying partner pleasure is part of enjoying the overall experience for me. But when it comes to mine...yeah, it doesn't matter the size and it doesn't matter the stamina. Because a partner had better bring more than that to the bedroom.
Anyhow, after responding several times along these lines, I finally got that young fella to admit that he wanted to improve his stamina for HIMSELF and not in fact for his partners. I call that progress.
And people wonder why I like older men...eesh...
/end rant