This thread is an offshoot from For Those Who Deeply Love Jesus. That thread is somewhat intended to be a place for lovers to limp forward away from the worries and cares of this world. This thread is a place to reveal our own personal experiences at the hands of religious bullies of any sort.
I'll start. I used to be a Latter-day Saint (Mormon), and I experienced bullying of one sort of another from rank-and-file members all the way up to one of the General Authorities. The experience that shook me the most was my time as a choir director. I suppose I should take some of the blame, I was vain and sought to toot my own horn. But on another level, I wanted the whole choir to have a cool and memorable experience (me included).
That didn't happen. One of the choir members absolutely hated my ideas, the songs I picked and my efforts to push the choir to a unique greatness. He made efforts to undermine my efforts, and what added fuel to the fire was that he had a wife and four daughters who were in the choir and liked what I was doing. So more conflict there. And one of his daughters was taking piano lessons from me and was helping to accompany the choir. So, if her dad put his foot down and ordered her not to attend a performance, that was a huge blow to her and to the choir.
On top of that, this guy had friends in the bishopric (a Mormon bishop is the equivalent of a pastor), one counselor in particular who had much evil to say about my decisions, and an inclination to cancel a song we were about to perform. He did this the day before we were supposed to perform one particular song. So, all that effort down the drain and we (I) had to come up with some two-bit substitute at the last second.
As for the church as a whole, they were introducing a new policy of choirs singing nothing but hymns from the (1985) hymnal. So I didn't have any friends going up the chain of command either. At one point, long after I'd been released as choir director, I had the stake president chastize me for not getting on board with that new policy. I'm just recounting the short version of the story, but the whole thing I think was what really broke the back of my belief, and several years later led to my total departure from the church.
Sigh. I wish I could say it was cathartic, but alas, talking about all that only makes me sad and depressed and disgusted. I guess that means I haven't healed from it yet. And maybe that shouldn't surprise me; there was never any closure in the aftermath of those events. I can't say I didn't have any friends at the time, I very much did. I wonder, though, did I let them down? I guess I'll never know. This all happened over 15 years ago.
So yes, I had an experience I could call "religious bullying." I have some others too, but that was the main one. How about you? Did you ever have someone bully you in a church/religious setting? Would you want to share that here? I offer my ear and sympathy if you do.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.
I'll start. I used to be a Latter-day Saint (Mormon), and I experienced bullying of one sort of another from rank-and-file members all the way up to one of the General Authorities. The experience that shook me the most was my time as a choir director. I suppose I should take some of the blame, I was vain and sought to toot my own horn. But on another level, I wanted the whole choir to have a cool and memorable experience (me included).
That didn't happen. One of the choir members absolutely hated my ideas, the songs I picked and my efforts to push the choir to a unique greatness. He made efforts to undermine my efforts, and what added fuel to the fire was that he had a wife and four daughters who were in the choir and liked what I was doing. So more conflict there. And one of his daughters was taking piano lessons from me and was helping to accompany the choir. So, if her dad put his foot down and ordered her not to attend a performance, that was a huge blow to her and to the choir.
On top of that, this guy had friends in the bishopric (a Mormon bishop is the equivalent of a pastor), one counselor in particular who had much evil to say about my decisions, and an inclination to cancel a song we were about to perform. He did this the day before we were supposed to perform one particular song. So, all that effort down the drain and we (I) had to come up with some two-bit substitute at the last second.
As for the church as a whole, they were introducing a new policy of choirs singing nothing but hymns from the (1985) hymnal. So I didn't have any friends going up the chain of command either. At one point, long after I'd been released as choir director, I had the stake president chastize me for not getting on board with that new policy. I'm just recounting the short version of the story, but the whole thing I think was what really broke the back of my belief, and several years later led to my total departure from the church.
Sigh. I wish I could say it was cathartic, but alas, talking about all that only makes me sad and depressed and disgusted. I guess that means I haven't healed from it yet. And maybe that shouldn't surprise me; there was never any closure in the aftermath of those events. I can't say I didn't have any friends at the time, I very much did. I wonder, though, did I let them down? I guess I'll never know. This all happened over 15 years ago.
So yes, I had an experience I could call "religious bullying." I have some others too, but that was the main one. How about you? Did you ever have someone bully you in a church/religious setting? Would you want to share that here? I offer my ear and sympathy if you do.
Sincerely,
Kevin T.