Sailing Solo

Atlantis said:
I would like another regular partner. I need to put some effort into it.
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Cool! I just realized something similar this week. I want sex far more often than I get it, which means I will def have to put more effort at making it happen. And that includes cleaning my apartment more often, if I expect to have guys come and spend time with me in my lair. Ugh.

I say, we go for it! Just remember, you're "sailing solo" - you don't need to clear it with anybody first, it's up to you.

:p
 
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Agreed! for as long as it holds my interest, which usually a couple of weeks. You have a messy apartment, I have 2 kids. How about I come clean for you and you child-mind for me?
I had another look at Meet-Ups and put my profile back up on OKC. I just started chatting with 2 men. One is local and one involves the hated drive, so I might not put too much effort into that one.
No doubt Prof will have noticed my profile is active again but I am hoping any discussion on the subject will be limited to, "MYOB." I am interested to know what he imagines the worst that will happen if I date wild and free. Cause really my history reveals me to be reckless and irresponsible.:rolleyes:
Sex at the weekend was great and also a failure. I think he can't perform 2 nights in a row, even with the little pills.
I put Kip on the roster for next week. I am going to take 2 planned lunches per month and schedule him regularly.
So some steps taken towards to get a little more action :p
 
I told Prof this morning that my profile was active, because I had promised I would. He asked me "Why do you need to do that?" Interesting that he used the word "need" I said I didn't want to discuss it I was giving him a courtesy notice. He dropped it, I am guessing for now, but that is ok. We can talk about it if necessary but we need to be clear on his level of input, which should equal the amount of input I have with his dating life. Nothing.
 
I have to say that I'm absolutely loving your blog. :)

So good to read about your adventures, how well you handle any struggles that you come across and also how much you do with your kids and your dedication to your studies. Excellent stuff. :D
 
Thanks IP. :D You have motivated me to put in a few hours on my project this afternoon.
It is so annoying to be going over the same editing stuff again because I failed to "save" it enough. On the plus side I looked up how to save to Google Drive. Yup, you press the "upload" button, so hopefully no more disasters.
I lost the first 2 OKCers, one likes to answer but not ask questions and one is moving apartment and doesn't have time to meet. I got an nice note from an man in SZ; I was wondering if it was a strange abbreviation for Southern Arizona or some such colloquialism, nooooooooooo it was Switzerland. :eek:
I have just started chatting with 2 more, no harm in it.
I had a lovely evening with Prof, we looked at hotels online, which motivated my intense attempt at starting to prepare. ;) Got 2 hotels sorted, I managed to persuade him to go to at least one different one than he had been to before, such a creature of habit. I cannot imagine him laying on a sun lounger relaxing but he liked the hotel with a beach cabana. I am quite happy to swim and read for the occasional day, actually days on end, but find it hard to believe he will be able to.
I started holiday shopping today. Got 2 tubes of travel laundry soap and a mini packet of baby wipes. I got bored at that point :D
I am in charge of places to visit and things to do, so there will not be too much slobbing around scheduled. If we make it to Hawaii then we can beach slob there, this Euro trip will probably be the only time my parents will be able to take the kids for an extended period and of course we can't go back for another 2 years after this. So slobbing is not a priority.
We also discussed my need to sleep and his need to wander around at night and drink wine, and worked out a compromise of naps, and split-the difference bed times. He can also bring his tablet and watch European porn. When in Rome!
Prof is off for another 9 night trip. He said it was from Thursday to the next Saturday but couldn't get a flight and needed to leave Wednesday night! The git! I told him I will withhold sexual favors as punishment and he nearly fell out of bed laughing. :p
Kip picked up the the phone and called yesterday. I hadn't had time to I.M. much all week and he wanted a check-in. Awww sweet. I told him to schedule a dinner evening or I wouldn't meet again. yes, I am trying to change the rules, but after 2.5 years I think I have proven myself not to be a cowgirl and the odd dinner shouldn't be the end of the world, and if it is ...well...
 
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nycindie said:
Cool! I just realized something similar this week. I want sex far more often than I get it, which means I will def have to put more effort at making it happen. And that includes cleaning my apartment more often, if I expect to have guys come and spend time with me in my lair. Ugh.

I say, we go for it! Just remember, you're "sailing solo" - you don't need to clear it with anybody first, it's up to you.

:p
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Lol I love this, I also need to put more effort in cleanup if I want guys over...:rolleyes:
 
House is clean but no dates lined up. I am down to one OKCer.

I am waiting for the police to come round and take a statement. The ex is refusing to return the children. Either I comply with his demands or he keeps them overnight. I have all my court papers lined up ready for the officer. Such a huge time investment and the stress is unbelievable I have been dealing with this stuff for years now. I was flicking through a notebook from the early separation days. I forgot about the time he broke into my new home shut me in my bedroom. That was before I had the restraining order. I thought abuse only counted if there was blood and bruises involved. I have done so much to move on with my life but he keeps trying to pull me back. He is a sad, pathetic loser.
 
Ugh so sorry to hear this Atlantis. I will never in a million years understand small men like this. I am in a similar situation that's on going for four years in court...so I hope that we both can eject the negative men from ours and our kids lives.
I hope you get them back quickly. It's so scary when this happens. You have my internet hugs for what they are worth and I think you are being so brave and strong.
 
Thank you Starlight, it is hard work.
The ex's GF brought them over on time. I hope there is some kind of consequence defined in court this week for the summer, no doubt he will try something, but maybe the fact that I did call the police on him might inspire him to stick to the schedule.

I am seeing Kip tomorrow, maybe another day this week too. I am taking a little of the crazy hours back and looking after me, which means some intense sex.:D He has been very chatty and calling me twice a day to talk and tell jokes. He is very up and down in his contact, which is nothing new. He did say he will make dinner happen, I am holding my breath, so excited !So much anticpation! :rolleyes:

I turned down a visit with Prof over at the new house tonight. I don't have the energy to load up the kids and drive there tonight, a whole 10 minutes :eek: He came over last night for a story and an episode, that is 3 nights in a row we have seen each other, enough for me. I saw him drive past too on the way home so that totally counts as seeing each other.:D

I am working hard on my project again, did some yesterday. I was a little dismayed when I started the references check and literature review tweaking. I realised that I had lost quite a few more hours of work than I thought so I really am going for the absolute minimum required at this point in an effort to get it finished by the end of the month. The research project is nothing I am proud of apart from the fact that I have nearly finished it. I am proud of the preceding 8 classes and the amount of good work I did on those.

I think I lost the last OKCer, it has been a whole 24 hours since the last email. :eek: I am not terribly patient and if they don't reply promptly then I lose interest.
 
OKCer sent a message with phone number. Roomie said 2 days is fine, he gives it 5 days before he deletes them. I will call OKCer tomorrow night, so very old school, talking on the phone.

One fabulous hour of fucking with Kip. I am going to try hard to see him more often. He said he would love that.

Prof came round last night, I invited him. He was waiting at the new house for a delivery and said he was starving. I had leftovers so round he came. No sex for the second night in a row; he said he was tired.

In response to the thread about poly and libido...yes, poly/open allows me to have something approaching the frequency that I would prefer. I am not sure how happy I would be with the frequency I get from Prof if there was no-one else. I have only seen Kip a few times this year but a little extra is better than no extra.

I wish Dan had not flaked, when he did make time we always had good fun sex.

Ah well.
 
I have 2 OKC meet n' greets set up for next week and a third interested party.
I have not much of an idea how to deal with this. I have "mostly non-monogamous" on my profile but no other references to open/poly things.
I did talk to OKCdive and did not mention that I had some partners, dating did not come up in the conversation. Is it ok to leave it until the first meeting? I am single, I feel single, in 2 relationships, but, at the end of the day, single. My partners are "single" and "married." I haven't told either of them and I don't want to. That is ok, right? It is not lying by omission, simply none of their business.
I haven't been on a meet and greet in over a year. :eek:
 
Kip said dinner next week was impossible, he was too busy at work. Erm...dinner usually happens after work. He did not and does not want to ask Mrs Kip no doubt but I don't care all that much, I had already scheduled OKCdive into the slot. I am bad.:eek: No arrangements made for the where and when with OKCdive apart from Friday evening.
I am supposed to meet OKCcue on Weds night for a game of pool and a cocktail.
OKCjuice rounds out the bunch, he wants to email a little before meeting, works for me cause I have no free nights for the few weeks.
I think last time I had my profile up I didn't meet anyone, funny how these things go.
I feel a touch guilty about not telling Prof as I am not entirely clear that I undid the share all promise, but I do remember changing the agreement from telling him about dates to saying I didn't want to tell him about dates and him not being too pleased but not insisting. Plus I clicked on his profile again today so he knows my profile is active. I think that is enough of a heads up for now.
The odds of any of them actually turning up are small and the odds of either of us wanting a first date/second meeting are even smaller. I would rather
 
Yeah, they're just meet n' greets. You shouldn't feel guilty for not giving him a heads-up beforehand - would you feel the need to warn him if you were going to meet a girlfriend for lunch? I don't think so. IMHO, he (or anyone else) only needs to know if there is mutual interest with one of these guys for getting together again. Til then, there's nothing really to report.
 
Atlantis said:
I have 2 OKC meet n' greets set up for next week and a third interested party.
I have not much of an idea how to deal with this. I have "mostly non-monogamous" on my profile but no other references to open/poly things.
I did talk to OKCdive and did not mention that I had some partners, dating did not come up in the conversation. Is it ok to leave it until the first meeting? I am single, I feel single, in 2 relationships, but, at the end of the day, single. My partners are "single" and "married." I haven't told either of them and I don't want to. That is ok, right? It is not lying by omission, simply none of their business.
I haven't been on a meet and greet in over a year. :eek:
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Atlantis said:
...I had already scheduled OKCdive into the slot. I am bad.:eek: No arrangements made for the where and when with OKCdive apart from Friday evening.
I am supposed to meet OKCcue on Weds night for a game of pool and a cocktail.
OKCjuice rounds out the bunch, he wants to email a little before meeting, works for me cause I have no free nights for the few weeks.
I think last time I had my profile up I didn't meet anyone, funny how these things go.
I feel a touch guilty about not telling Prof as I am not entirely clear that I undid the share all promise, but I do remember changing the agreement from telling him about dates to saying I didn't want to tell him about dates and him not being too pleased but not insisting. Plus I clicked on his profile again today so he knows my profile is active. I think that is enough of a heads up for now.
The odds of any of them actually turning up are small and the odds of either of us wanting a first date/second meeting are even smaller. I would rather
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nycindie said:
Yeah, they're just meet n' greets. You shouldn't feel guilty for not giving him a heads-up beforehand - would you feel the need to warn him if you were going to meet a girlfriend for lunch? I don't think so. IMHO, he (or anyone else) only needs to know if there is mutual interest with one of these guys for getting together again. Til then, there's nothing really to report.
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In general, I agree with nycindie here. These are meeting up with someone for the first time. Your OKC profile says something about non-monogamy and Prof knows your account is active. Plus, as you say, you consider yourself "single". It seems as though you are NOT in agreement with Prof about the "share everything" and DID change the agreement (although perhaps you need to reinforce this with him). He doesn't need to be happy about it. You don't need to make agreements that you aren't comfortable with.

I'm not single - so I can't address that part but, re: the prospects. I think that IF they show up, IF there is chemistry, IF it looks like things are heading toward a "date" date or IF it comes up in conversation, THEN - "I had a great time, I would like to see you again, but I think you should be aware that I am involved with/dating a few others as well and am not looking for an exclusive relationship." covers everything.
 
I made a mess with the attempts to quote and deleted my post.
Thank you both for the input, great advice and what I needed to hear.
As you both say, I really do need to chill until I actually meet any of them. I did have bow out from OKCjuice, waaaay to much baggage revealed in his first email and expectations are very different.
Down to 2.
I told OKCcue that I don't do flirty texts until after we meet. I may have lost another one there. :O hopefully not, but he has gone quiet all of a sudden.

I am enjoying a little quality time apart from Prof. No need to do too much cleaning or cookie buying this weekend.

I am looking forward to my day with only one kid tomorrow. So rare that I get to enjoy them apart.
 
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I talked to OKCcue on the phone for a while last night. It seemed to go fairly well. He still wants to meet up, is suggesting a coffee but I would rather go with his first idea of a few games of pool. I don't think I can bring myself to do a coffee interview.
OKCdive has gone quiet. I think he sets a timer for 48 hours in between communication efforts. If he keeps on schedule then sometime this afternoon he will message.
I am enjoying the break from Prof, nice to get some quality time apart. I am interested to see at what point I feel that I miss him. We are only missing two scheduled nights apart out of 10 though we have been seeing each other more frequently than that. He made sure his flight got back in time to spend next Saturday night with me. :D so that leaves Wednesday coming and Friday.
 
Prof is very quiet, a one word text from him yesterday. I think he is on a flight today so may message from the tarmac as he seems to have taken up doing.
OKCdive messaged after 40 hours, off by 8 :) I wonder what rule book he read where it says don't respond for 2 days. The "Book Of What Single People Do."
OKCcue called me at 12:52am last night on his way home from a night out. I didn't answer the phone but did text. He wanted to know what I was doing and what I was wearing :eek: I told him to call a cab or Triple A and get towed home. I don't know if this is a HUGE RED FLAG or a simply little drunk and overly enthusiastic. I did him tell a couple of times that I don't sext or get too flirty till I actually meet someone.
I did tell him earlier in the day that I was not looking for monogamous or exclusive and he was fine with that.
I would like Wednesday to hurry up! Looks like both of us are ready to meet.
 
Atlantis said:
He wanted to know what I was doing and what I was wearing :eek:
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I hate those questions! I think they want to hear that I'm reclining on a chaise longue in a slinky, sexy negligee while masturbating to thoughts of them, when instead I am stuffing my face with junk food while in a holey pair of sweat pants from the hamper.
 
nycindie said:
I hate those questions! I think they want to hear that I'm reclining on a chaise longue in a slinky, sexy negligee while masturbating to thoughts of them, when instead I am stuffing my face with junk food while in a holey pair of sweat pants from the hamper.
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Hmmm...I never get those questions. Perhaps because everyone knows I am wearing yoga pants and no shirt? (or perhaps because I don't date?).
 
I was sleeping, got up to have a pee and noticed the phone glowing when I got back into bed.
I usually sleep naked but he doesn't need to know that.
So the drunk dial is excusable at this point? Hanging out with friends, long holiday weekend and all that.
 
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