RoseTyler92
New member
Hi everyone, new to the forum. I have some concerns which I wanted some advice about in my poly situation. I'm going to change everyone's names for obvious reasons.
I'm Rose, and I'm in my late twenties. My partner David and I have been in a relationship for around 3 and a half years, he's also in his late twenties. David has a second partner, Lucy, who is in her early forties. They have been in a long distance relationship for around 2 and a half years. She is American, David and I are British. We both met David online.
Lucy is planning to move to the UK permanently. She is currently finding this hard because of Covid and finding a British job. Frankly, the idea of he in the UK makes me really anxious, and it comes down to some conversations that we have had as a pair without David.
As her being in the UK will massively change how much I can see David, I think I need some help from David making some adjustments. David and I are planning to get a house together, as are David and Lucy. The plan from discussions with David is that he will split his time between us both (neither me nor Lucy have any other UK partners at the moment, though I am actively looking online for another relationship).
Based on this, I want to discuss future arrangements with Lucy. As far as possible, I think it would be good if we lived in roughly the same area, to cut down on David's travel time between us. I also want to discuss how best to work as a three to work on a system for how David will split up his time.
Thing is, Lucy always shuts down whenever I bring this up. In a recent discussion she basically told me to my face that she felt that David and her had a stronger relationship- "He loves you, but I'm his true love" were her words I think. She also gets very hostile whenever I bring up the planned system of David splitting his time between us. She keeps insisting that he will be spending most of his time with her. Frankly, I think she's in denial. (David and I have had repeated discussions, he swears that this is the plan and he wants this to remain the plan).
To add to the complexity of it, David and Lucy have a BDSM kink relationship thing, whilst David and I have a more casual mix of sex and kink in our sex life. Lucy says that she needs David with her as her "Master" which I personally disagree with, as do the other kinksters I already asked for advice about this. Lucy also has some complex mental health needs.
The idea of Lucy in the UK fills me with anxiety, and it stopped me sleeping last night. I don't think she really wants a poly relationship at all, and I worry that when she gets here she will keep insisting that David spend more and more time with her, cutting into our relationship. David is very insistent that he will not allow this, but the fact that she seems to be of this mindset seems concerning to me anyway?
What do you folks think?
I'm Rose, and I'm in my late twenties. My partner David and I have been in a relationship for around 3 and a half years, he's also in his late twenties. David has a second partner, Lucy, who is in her early forties. They have been in a long distance relationship for around 2 and a half years. She is American, David and I are British. We both met David online.
Lucy is planning to move to the UK permanently. She is currently finding this hard because of Covid and finding a British job. Frankly, the idea of he in the UK makes me really anxious, and it comes down to some conversations that we have had as a pair without David.
As her being in the UK will massively change how much I can see David, I think I need some help from David making some adjustments. David and I are planning to get a house together, as are David and Lucy. The plan from discussions with David is that he will split his time between us both (neither me nor Lucy have any other UK partners at the moment, though I am actively looking online for another relationship).
Based on this, I want to discuss future arrangements with Lucy. As far as possible, I think it would be good if we lived in roughly the same area, to cut down on David's travel time between us. I also want to discuss how best to work as a three to work on a system for how David will split up his time.
Thing is, Lucy always shuts down whenever I bring this up. In a recent discussion she basically told me to my face that she felt that David and her had a stronger relationship- "He loves you, but I'm his true love" were her words I think. She also gets very hostile whenever I bring up the planned system of David splitting his time between us. She keeps insisting that he will be spending most of his time with her. Frankly, I think she's in denial. (David and I have had repeated discussions, he swears that this is the plan and he wants this to remain the plan).
To add to the complexity of it, David and Lucy have a BDSM kink relationship thing, whilst David and I have a more casual mix of sex and kink in our sex life. Lucy says that she needs David with her as her "Master" which I personally disagree with, as do the other kinksters I already asked for advice about this. Lucy also has some complex mental health needs.
The idea of Lucy in the UK fills me with anxiety, and it stopped me sleeping last night. I don't think she really wants a poly relationship at all, and I worry that when she gets here she will keep insisting that David spend more and more time with her, cutting into our relationship. David is very insistent that he will not allow this, but the fact that she seems to be of this mindset seems concerning to me anyway?
What do you folks think?