Solo Poly in PNW

Failing2Pisces

New member
Hey all,

I'm actually a Leo, not a Pisces :) You can call me Morgan.

I identify best as solo poly at this time. I am usually a lurker and not active on discussion boards nor on social media, but I have been *so* frustrated with relationships and dating that I have found it necessary to engage more on the internet than I am used to in order to get support.

I've read through the posting guidelines and looked through some examples of "Introductions" and "Personal Summaries", but I apologize if I inadvertently mix up some details of what is supposed to be posted where.

A brief "About Me": 33 years old, cis female, bisexual, gender fluid. Not currently in a relationship.

Why I am here: Historically, I have been in hetero, monogamous relationships. I have been aware for years that monogamous, escalator-type relationships do not fit me, but without the vocabulary to describe just why those relationships chaff. Now that I am in my 30's and my life has come together enough to really focus on dating, I have been able to begin to educate myself about non-traditional relationship structure. However, I have been having difficulty with dating because I have not yet dialed in how to search for, screen, and communicate efficiently about what I am looking for, especially on dating apps. I am so frustrated with hearing that "I have commitment issues" and that "I do not know what I want"; people who say these things to me are using traditional-type relationships as their only valid reference point. To hear those things at turns makes me feel rotten, but also spurs me on to find like-minded people.

Currently, I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the information to sift through. I have put dating on pause for a while, partially motivated by this overwhelm, but also because I have found that even though I have identified as non-monogamous while being active in the dating realm, people are a bit hesitant to engage with me because I have never actually been in a non-monogamous relationship. Not a bad time to take a pause, given how the pandemic has made dating a bit more complicated in its own way.

I will be looking through threads especially for solo poly-specific information...if anyone knows of a foundational place to start, I appreciate the heads up!

Looking forward to chatting with you all.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Greetings Morgan,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Click on ...
... as you may find those a good place to start on your journey towards discovering solo poly. It sounds like you are in the process of thinking about what poly is, and especially with the pandemic afoot, now is a good time to do the contemplating. Glad you could join us!

Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 

MeeraReed

Active member
Welcome! I am also solo poly, and I had exactly the same issues when I started dating as an openly solo poly person. It was very hard to describe what I wanted!

There's a Solo Polyamory Facebook group that might be useful for you. This forum doesn't have all that many solo poly people who post regularly.
 

Failing2Pisces

New member
Thank you for the resources Kevin, and dropping a line, Meera! I closed down my original Facebook account that was years old, but have a small one that I use a little on Facebook. I will stop by the Solo Facebook group soon.
 
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