The butterfly diaries

extreme social which is a win in any sort of leadership, but especially in technology, where if you can do, and talk, you win.
That is so very true (it’s literally how Knight has an into-six-figures career with no bachelor’s degree).
 
The longest I've really ever had a job is 2.75 years. I do the leaving, but generally because it has become untenable for whatever reason.

My first job was freelance, it was perfect. Since then, probably ADHD???

I spent last night and most of today with Nevyn. We're definitely enjoying the NRE. But it's also just so chill hanging out. We have a lot in common and having fun finding it out. I also feel like he's helping me move forward with some things. I'm on holiday now so I got my holiday treat today - new boots, ordered online from Australia. This would normally be too huge of a risk for me but I got some of the same brand in an op shop (thrift store) the other week, so I have some confidence in the sizing.

He's gone out tonight to his first play party with another lovely lady he met at the poly munch (I know her a little, too) and I really hope he has an amazing time. He's dressed up to the nines in line with the theme and he's nervous as hell lol. It's a house party so it's going to be pretty sedate, but I've still ensured he's briefed in some generic etiquette ("go get a cookie").

We're at the delightful part of our relationship that every date (overnight) is better than the last. I even came close to reading his "mind" today (body language, obviously). I got the largest part of it and then got some insight into him with the bit I missed.

So I'm home and enjoying my evening alone. Winter break has started and now I'm finally warm (it's so cold here the heater was struggling) I'm just relaxing. I'm content in my own company - that's something Nevyn and I talked about earlier today: lack of loneliness*. It's been a great start to the break.

*I want to write more about this separately.
 
Today was a "me" day. I got my eyelashes tinted and I went clothes shopping at my equivalent of Walmart and got a dress, dungarees, a merino top, two hoodies (one zipped), a cardigan, and some wrist warmers all for $125 (maybe $70USD). The dress style, the dungarees and the cardi I've not had anything similar before so this is me reaching outside my style zone. I'm pleased about it. My credit card is not, but I've got the money to pay it off, so oh well. I have until January to save for Puck being here. and we all know something will go wrong between now and then anyway. Sigh.

I still have a huge wish list, but then, I always will, so I'm just glad I don't bawl my eyes out anymore over buying myself anything worth over $20.

My parents gave me some of the family jewellery yesterday, so it's my turn to care for it and enjoy it. I've been wearing my grandmother's engagement ring today (I don't usually wear mine so it's fancy for me to we any stone ring at all.) It's solitaire round cut diamond that may be half a carat (about 5mm diameter). Since I have that grandmother's wedding ring as my wedding ring, it's nice to see them sitting side by side, the way she would have worn them. That's the value, for me. The dilemma I have is that I'm childfree, and an only child, so I'm not 100% sure where the jewellery will go after me yet. I have to update my damn Will anyway, since Ayin died. He didn't know he was in it, it would have been a surprise when he was old. But getting old is a privilege and he is already free of this existence.

It's still very much the depths of winter here, but it's not nearly as cold in my city as it is where Adam still lives, so I'm having a better time of it altogether. I must have had an uncanny knack of visiting this city when the weather was shit, because now I'm living here, there really are more good days than bad. The city's slogan is that you can't beat it on a good day. The joked about rest of that sentence is, "all 5 of them" - but yesterday was spectacular, weather wise, and today has been pretty damn good too.

Today, I threw the 'shoulds' out the window. I'm doing more and more of that in at attempt to find personal wellbeing again. I am doing what I want to do. I am confident I'll catch myself before that spirals out of control, it's not like I'm reaching for the Class A, and if I consider a few hundred dollars overspending, then everything is solvable sooner or later. Finally, my net worth is positive, even with the mortgage, so I'm not in a horrible position at 46. My Mum said something about buying a house to keep the jewellery in and I replied, "Mum, I have a house," and she said, "yeah, but you don't want to live in it." Touché, Mum, touché.
 
And now I have a cold, sigh.

I spent yesterday morning with Nova. Cafe lunch, a little op shopping, all in all a good time. But in the afternoon I got sicker and had to bail on yesterday evening's plans, and today's plans. I'm a bit better today, but mostly I'm going to be staying at home and keeping warm and hydrated. I don't want to pass this bullshit on, either. Sure it's just a cold, but ugh, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. A good reason to stay in bed and watch something on whatever streaming service I have at the moment.
 
This doesn't feel like a cold anymore. It's not COVID, there's no hint of glandular fever, I'm just totally wiped out if I do anything. I'm well enough to feel guilty, but sick enough that the smallest chores are exhausting. Hell, sitting up is exhausting. I have no appetite and am forcing liquids down.

Nevyn is coming over after work again, and will bring food so I can have something to eat. Then Adam will get here around 10:30 pm I think. He's here until Tuesday. It was always going to be a sedate weekend but I didn't want to be sick 😭

And that's all my brain power used up. Time to doze again.
 
Back
Top