Too New

Perhaps he wont admit to wanting more. But l cant take anymore stress. I am seeing him this week. I will have to ask for that confirmation for that commitment to once a week. Yes he seems to be what l needed.
 
Hopefully he will be willing and able to meet your needs for once a week. It sounds like he has said, albeit perhaps not directly, that he would do that.
 
Hi Kevin,
Yes, not directly bout once a week. declarations about reducing the time between the times we are apart. Maybe he is more romantic than practical. Ive recently felt the effect of fallout of his children life drama, his np meltdown bout her self esteem, his additional shifts, his own health issues. I think he has some great qualities, one of them might be he has soul of Job from the bible. I am not prepared to torture myself mentally & emotionally. Thanks for being wonderful sounding board.
 
No problem, I hope he is willing and able to do once a week as you desire, it sounds like he doesn't have a concrete plan of how to do that, he is just giving vague assurances that he will do more.
 
Its like its up in the air, l am afraid l will be the one landing hard, it feels like he is deeply entangled. He wants to please everyone but l am the one at the end of the que. Lets see what Thursday brings. Thanks again. I am seeing my psychologist today, hope she can give me some insights. Ive returned to dating sites to chat with other guys, to see whats out there, perhaps focusing on friendships is alternate way. Sad & disheartened.
 
I'm sorry things are up in the air at this time, I hope you won't be the one who lands hard, but it does look that way. Definitely talk to your psychologist about it, see if she can give you some insights.
 
It seems thats a possibility. Hanging onto a thread of hope. As l dont have all the facts. I am hoping the psyche will be helpful. Appreciate your support.
xo
 
No problem, I hope you can get all the facts, and not just vague reassurances.
 
It was good to chat with psychologist & felt supported. I am catching up with Kile tomorrow. I have put down some questions to ask. The once a week seems to be ongoing thing. Vague is not what l want
 
It sounds like you had a good sesh with your psychologist. See if you can get Kile to give you some more concrete answers.
 
Looks like the once week is in. But l know its a stretch as he completes a late evening shift, sees me quite late. I get up really early for a shift. I didnt manage to ask all the questions as it never seemed right at the moment cos l wanted to use the time to be with him. I am wondering if this relationship is worth pursuing. Its insane, quality over quantity? Am l clutching for scraps. Feel annoyed at myself.
 
Yeah, you really have to decide if he is willing and able to meet your needs in this relationship. Right now it sounds like he is willing, but not able. Sure he is committing to the once a week thing ... but that's only technically true, more to the point you are only getting scraps of his time. And it doesn't look like he can give any more.
 
He keeps saying with things settling when l know he has said so much bout making time, just may not be possible. l am too kind or stupidly optimistic . I have given myself end of March. ive asked in the nicest possible way bout extended time.
psyche said too many moving parts, it is seriously challenging. I am hoping for positive outcome. I was in a monogamous relationship for over 10 years hoping things will change, dumb but l wont be doing this for Kile.
I cant turn my feelings off. I am so grateful you can give me your time. Somehow you are better at communicating than my guy. Lol.
A compliment not a pass. 😊
 
Wouldn't you rather have a relationship with someone for whom you are their top priority? It isn't greedy to want a full-time r'ship, but that's not on offer here.

It's ok, maybe even empowering, to move on from him because what he offers isn't enough for you.
 
Thanks polynewb, I am happy to help if I can. I think you have the right idea, give him until the end of March. You do not have to settle for the scraps that fall from his table, you deserve someone who will truly make you a priority.
 
LoveBunny said:
Wouldn't you rather have a relationship with someone for whom you are their top priority? It isn't greedy to want a full-time r'ship, but that's not on offer here.

It's ok, maybe even empowering, to move on from him because what he offers isn't enough for you.
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Thanks for those kind words. I know l deserve more. Yes it would be amazing to be given top priority. Yet l came in knowing l was sharing him with his np. But l never thought id be getting scraps off the table. Feeling malnourished. One moment l feel strong enough to walk away another l feel too weak. But its not sustainable. Easy to say but to do. Appreciate your thoughts.
 
kdt26417 said:
Thanks polynewb, I am happy to help if I can. I think you have the right idea, give him until the end of March. You do not have to settle for the scraps that fall from his table, you deserve someone who will truly make you a priority.
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Again. Thank you. I am going to have a better chat with him sometime today or tomorrow. Fooling myself thinking this is enough. I know it wont be easy walking. The longer l leave it the harder it will be. It already feels like it now. Even though its been 3mths.
 
It is one thing to share him with his NP, it is another thing entirely to be treated like a second-class citizen. I'm sure his NP gets all the best from him. That is not fair to you.
 
Yes. Np gets amazing amount of attention. Do l have the right to expect that from him. I can only ask for more time. Which he may not want to give or is unable. Which leads to me exiting. Even as a secondary l warrant more prioritisation. Hard truths. Moving house today & need to focus on getting out. Thanks Kevin. x
 
No problem, I hope you are able to work things out so that they are fair to you.
 
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