I'm new here! Hey there!
I'm seeking advice as I'm trying to sort out my emotions. When I was travelling I became best friends with my meanwhile boyfriend. We both used to date other people as we've been best friends for several months (didn't expect or had any interest in anything else) and we always of course talked about our dates as friends do. Then a year ago I visitted him in his country and somehow there was a "switch" and it was like a holiday fling. Only that we still kept in touch so much after that it naturally developped into a relationship and somehow it just made sense to never close the relationship as we both were not jealous and we were long distance with no plans yet about closing the distance.
So far so good. I got to meet the girl he mostly was also seeing this year as he didn't switch among other partners (Covid might be a factor) while he already knew one the guys I saw more often but I had several other casual things. Now I'll fly to him and arrive in 2 days! But as it starts to get real I noticed that it suddenly does trigger some awkwardness when he answers the phone and is cuddling up to let's say Eva. I actually really like her she is cool and we trained together online we all have shared interests. And she used to be in poly relationships before and is bi. I'm also bisexual so I got now the hints that they might hope for me and my bf to "date" her together.
My bf was already asking me about my expectations about her cause he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. I already communicated to him that we can all hang out together during the daytime and we also will go on trips but for starters I want the nights with him alone and he things that's absolutely fair. So there is no pressure.
I guess I'd just like to hear how you guys got into this kind of relationship dynamics and for any advice. It's great that we were best friends to begin with so I can tell him however I feel. It's more that I need to figure first out how I feel about things. I guess I'm worried of 2 ways in which it could go wrong
1) I do end up liling her too and it would overcomolicate things to make them work with 2 people at once
2) I could get jealous to which I think my natural reaction would be to just emotionally distance myself completely or somehow won't be able to build up something meaningful cause it somehow feels wrong/off to become monogamous with him as oddly enough we never have been. Despites this being my first non monogamous relationship
Sry for the huge text.
I'm seeking advice as I'm trying to sort out my emotions. When I was travelling I became best friends with my meanwhile boyfriend. We both used to date other people as we've been best friends for several months (didn't expect or had any interest in anything else) and we always of course talked about our dates as friends do. Then a year ago I visitted him in his country and somehow there was a "switch" and it was like a holiday fling. Only that we still kept in touch so much after that it naturally developped into a relationship and somehow it just made sense to never close the relationship as we both were not jealous and we were long distance with no plans yet about closing the distance.
So far so good. I got to meet the girl he mostly was also seeing this year as he didn't switch among other partners (Covid might be a factor) while he already knew one the guys I saw more often but I had several other casual things. Now I'll fly to him and arrive in 2 days! But as it starts to get real I noticed that it suddenly does trigger some awkwardness when he answers the phone and is cuddling up to let's say Eva. I actually really like her she is cool and we trained together online we all have shared interests. And she used to be in poly relationships before and is bi. I'm also bisexual so I got now the hints that they might hope for me and my bf to "date" her together.
My bf was already asking me about my expectations about her cause he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. I already communicated to him that we can all hang out together during the daytime and we also will go on trips but for starters I want the nights with him alone and he things that's absolutely fair. So there is no pressure.
I guess I'd just like to hear how you guys got into this kind of relationship dynamics and for any advice. It's great that we were best friends to begin with so I can tell him however I feel. It's more that I need to figure first out how I feel about things. I guess I'm worried of 2 ways in which it could go wrong
1) I do end up liling her too and it would overcomolicate things to make them work with 2 people at once
2) I could get jealous to which I think my natural reaction would be to just emotionally distance myself completely or somehow won't be able to build up something meaningful cause it somehow feels wrong/off to become monogamous with him as oddly enough we never have been. Despites this being my first non monogamous relationship
Sry for the huge text.