Vee relationship?
- Thread starter msma'am
- Start date
So just one of you is currently interested in dating another person and becoming a hinge? And the other is intending to become a good metamour to the new person? If you're not sure of these terms, try our glossary 
Have you considered how connected the "leg" of the V would be to their meta? Would the contact them if the hinge could not? In case of emergency? Death? Be welcome at the funeral? To speak?
Well, that got real dark real quickly didn't it? But it's a serious consideration because when polyamorous relationships are really committed, we need to consider how much couple's privilege is afforded to each dyad (pair of partners). Sometimes, it is dismantled completely into a single, rather nuclear family style situation, cohabitation etc. But just as legitimately, there may polycule shapes where some "legs" are hinges to their own other relationships (think: N or W shaped, or various shaped networks).
I'm guessing it's early days and one of you is interested in seeing other people and the other isn't. It's a little difficult to give specific advice, but dating while partnered can throw up some extra challenges. Have you come across the Poly Hell article? Have a read because forewarned is forearmed.
This thread has a collection of resources that we often recommend. Perhaps go for a deep dive into the things that look particularly relevant to you and then hone in on some specific questions you want further help with.
Have you considered how connected the "leg" of the V would be to their meta? Would the contact them if the hinge could not? In case of emergency? Death? Be welcome at the funeral? To speak?
Well, that got real dark real quickly didn't it? But it's a serious consideration because when polyamorous relationships are really committed, we need to consider how much couple's privilege is afforded to each dyad (pair of partners). Sometimes, it is dismantled completely into a single, rather nuclear family style situation, cohabitation etc. But just as legitimately, there may polycule shapes where some "legs" are hinges to their own other relationships (think: N or W shaped, or various shaped networks).
I'm guessing it's early days and one of you is interested in seeing other people and the other isn't. It's a little difficult to give specific advice, but dating while partnered can throw up some extra challenges. Have you come across the Poly Hell article? Have a read because forewarned is forearmed.
This thread has a collection of resources that we often recommend. Perhaps go for a deep dive into the things that look particularly relevant to you and then hone in on some specific questions you want further help with.
Rather than trying to ask and answer dozens of general questions, I'd recommend you read a couple of good books on poly for an overview. Opening Up covers just about every poly situation you could get yourself into. Polysecure is another good one.
If you prefer listening to a podcast, people like Multiamory.
Hello msma'am,
I am in a V myself (MFM), so I have some experience in that configuration. I don't know what specific information you need, so throw some questions at me, I'll try to answer. I will say you're smart to aim for a V, it is arguably the most stable configuration in poly.
Respects and regards,
Kevin T.
I am in a V myself (MFM), so I have some experience in that configuration. I don't know what specific information you need, so throw some questions at me, I'll try to answer. I will say you're smart to aim for a V, it is arguably the most stable configuration in poly.
Respects and regards,
Kevin T.