Walking a new path...

MBG said :
For the first time in our marriage there are things he won't tell me, and I'm sad about that.

I had a shower with him, and as I got out I turned and said something, and he stopped the conversation because of something he was asked not to share with me. It made me sad that he has to watch what he says with me now. :(

I understand the need, the right of other people to their privacy. I get it.

We've always had a "Don't ask me to keep a secret from my spouse" relationship. And that's changed, and it makes me sad. :(

The balance is hard. How do you balance out one person's right to privacy with an established communication pattern?
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This is just too freaking weird! I've got the above in my email but I can't find it on the site! :(

Anyway, maybe hubby could explain to SO that the two of you have a no-secrets policy, so if she doesn't want you to know something, then she shouldn't tell him.
 
Never assume. Always clarify. If you assume, you make an
ASS out of
U and
ME

I made an assumption today. W made an assumption today. Between the two assumptions, a whole fucking shitstorm of miscommunications happened. An afternoon was ruined. And W and I were just sitting, staring at each other. We're perfect for each other... just a pair of dumbasses. If he had TOLD me... if I had ASKED... none of the shitstorm would have happened.

I was afraid to come home. Others were afraid of me coming home. It didn't make for a good afternoon.
 
marksbabygirl said:
Never assume. Always clarify. IF you assume, you make an
ASS out of
U and
ME

I made an assumption today.

W made an assumption today.

Between all the two assumptions - a whole fucking shitstorm of miscommunications happened.

An afternoon was ruined.

And W and I were just sitting - staring at each other - we're perfect for each other - just a pair of dumbasses. If he had TOLD me.... if I had ASKED.... none of the shitstorm would have happened.

I was afraid to come home.

Others were afraid of me coming home.

It didn't make for a good afternoon...
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Karma and I know that scenario all too well. We've gotten better, but sometimes you don't know to ask if they don't say something first.
 
marksbabygirl said:
Never assume. Always clarify. IF you assume, you make an
ASS out of
U and
ME

I made an assumption today.

W made an assumption today.

Between all the two assumptions - a whole fucking shitstorm of miscommunications happened.

An afternoon was ruined.

And W and I were just sitting - staring at each other - we're perfect for each other - just a pair of dumbasses. If he had TOLD me.... if I had ASKED.... none of the shitstorm would have happened.
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I feel like I just read something you stole out of my head. This is EXACTLY what happened here last week. Things are mending here, and I hope they are for you, as well.
 
Things are much better today-- conversation with Wellington, conversation with Pengrah, craft night with the girls (Pengrah & a couple of other friends), being spoiled with wine & snacks by Wellington, snuggles all around ended the night.

Woke up feeling really good. I hope everyone else in my house is feeling as good as I am. :)
 
marksbabygirl said:
Snuggles all around ended the night.

Woke up feeling really good. I hope everyone else in my house is feeling as good as I am. :)
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Glad to hear, MBB. Always good when the skies clear and the sun shines again!

Wish I could say the same. Still feeling sort of *numb* from yesterday's communication nightmare!

P2
 
I let go of one final block this morning. Conditionally, because I'm not sure, with how badly my PMS is affecting me, but based on how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW, I think there will be no worries.

I'm good.

I have an upset stomach, but after careful consideration, I am pretty sure that's the result of the cinnamon bun and the Americano with an extra shot of espresso.

If I think about them, I don't have compersion, but I'm not twisty and angry and upset. Huge friggin' progress.

I am oh so very tired today, in dire need of an afternoon nap. Seriously thinking about hiding in the filing later and napping there. :p

But I'm good. I'm in a good place. And it's nice. :)
 
Oh oh oh oh!!! I was reading TruckerPete's blog about rings and realized that something enormously significant happened this past weekend that I wanted to share.

I was talking to my hubby about his wedding ring (I wear his; mine have long since been lost), and how I'd like to see him wearing it again. His response was that he'd like to tattoo his wedding ring on his finger. :D

I love him. He's awesome.

We're going to save pennies for the next while, but the general plan is around Christmas or my birthday (Jan 16) we'll have matching tattoos. Our *rings* will be our wedding date, our names, and decorative details to look like rings. I can't wait. :D
 
Wow! That is awesome. That might solve my ring problem. I technically have 3 of them and I wear none of them. They itch my finger.

That is such a huge step! I am so happy for you.
 
marksbabygirl said:
We're going to save pennies for the next while - but the general plan is around Christmas or my birthday (Jan 16) we'll have matching tattoos :D

:D
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Very cool Idea...and the most painful tattoo I ever got!

picture.php
 
marksbabygirl said:
We're going to save pennies for the next while, but the general plan is around Christmas or my birthday (Jan 16) we'll have matching tattoos.
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That is so kewl. We have talked about that, as well. Do it on your birthday and think of me and TL, as it is our 20th anniversary. :D
 
I've heard about ring tattoos before, and I think it's a pretty cool idea. And you don't risk losing it! Show us pictures once you get them!

Mono, what's yours saying? What does FSFL stand for?
 
Aww, I'm sorry, Mono. Nice story, though. I mean, not nice as in, "I'm glad all that happened to you" (although I guess that's how you ended up with redpepper, so it's not all bad), but I like hearing the stories behind tattoos.
 
The little blurps of emotion are just that now, little blurps. Instead of anger and hurt feelings taking over a night, trashing a day or an entire week.

My level of "OK-ness" has gotten to a point where something happens, I get upset, I have a cry, I talk it out and it's done, usually within about 1/2 hour.

Today is a very good day. :)

I adore my husband.
 
Glad to hear it, MBG. I hope things keep getting better for you!
 
I'm drowning. It is almost too much to hold on.

Changing communication styles after 12 years together isn't impossible, but it has been extremely difficult.

I'm drowning. He is my lifeline.

I need to find a way out of the water before its too late... :(
 
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