Browneyedgirl420
New member
My husband and I have been together for 3 years. He’s been in the lifestyle for years, but it was all new to me. He also struggles with Sex addiction. He was always up front and honest from the get go about who he was and what he wanted, and I told him I thought I could handle this life.
But lately I’m really struggling with accepting his need for other women and not being enough for him and wishing we could be more monogamous. I know it’s not fair to flip the script on him after we got married, so I can see why he would feel resentful. I tell myself all the rational answers of why I chose a poly, and that I will do whatever it takes to make this work, but I feel no control of how my emotions would be affected and what it does to me. I feel like it’s leading to big self esteem and self worth issues, and a constant shame and guilt spiral because I can’t give him what he needs and desires. I know if I cannot find a way to deal with my emotions I will lose my husband. We still love each other so much, but what do you do when you can’t find a middle ground that makes you both happy? How do you force yourself to be ok with something that hurts? How do I learn to lesson that feeling I get knowing he is texting or flirting with other women, much less having sex with them? When am I enabling a bad addictive behavior versus being open in the lifestyle?
I feel so hopeless lately and lost.
But lately I’m really struggling with accepting his need for other women and not being enough for him and wishing we could be more monogamous. I know it’s not fair to flip the script on him after we got married, so I can see why he would feel resentful. I tell myself all the rational answers of why I chose a poly, and that I will do whatever it takes to make this work, but I feel no control of how my emotions would be affected and what it does to me. I feel like it’s leading to big self esteem and self worth issues, and a constant shame and guilt spiral because I can’t give him what he needs and desires. I know if I cannot find a way to deal with my emotions I will lose my husband. We still love each other so much, but what do you do when you can’t find a middle ground that makes you both happy? How do you force yourself to be ok with something that hurts? How do I learn to lesson that feeling I get knowing he is texting or flirting with other women, much less having sex with them? When am I enabling a bad addictive behavior versus being open in the lifestyle?
I feel so hopeless lately and lost.