Your most recent OKC messages. post em here!

Ugh, I logged on to OKC just briefly today, to copy some of my profile that I want to keep, which of course triggered their notification system that I was online. Within minutes, I got three messages. They were all sub-par. Two were just "hi" and "hello," and the pics clearly showed men of a physical type that I do not find attractive.

The third one rambled a bit, but I could not see the pic and it was a little weird looking, and his message was rather incoherent, but for some reason I was curious. I clicked on his profile - Egad! I won't do that again. What is up with these guys who just do not think their appearance or a nice picture matters? First of all, his forehead and brow were extremely Neanderthal-like. In fact, I've never seen anyone with such a protruding brow. It looks like horror-movie makeup. I wonder if it is? A lot of guys seem to like pictures of themselves in Halloween costumes. But I think it's real.

Not that I don't sympathize with someone who is unfortunate in the looks department, but try a little grooming! This guy's wild, frizzy, long grey hair and unruly beard were all over the place. It was a photo beyond imagination.

I am not one of those women who automatically dislikes beards and mustaches. I like bearded, mustachioed men as long as the facial hair compliments them well, but they do need to be groomed! There was a man I met on vacation with such a long grey beard, that other people around us teased him and called him Santa - but it was neat and combed and trimmed evenly - but I was attracted to him, though he was probably 4 inches shorter than I. Plus he had a great personality.

BUT the guy on OKC today - well, it's amazing that anyone would put a pic like this in their profile, let alone walk around like that. He's scary looking, even scarier than Ted Kaczynski. I don't think this guy ever trims, brushes, nor combs his beard, mustache, and hair - seriously. He has whiskers growing out of his cheekbones. And it's all frizzy and tangled. Could not ever imagine kissing someone like that or being in bed with them... eww, just eww. Plus, he said he's 60, but he looks about 75, his deep-set eyes were cloudy and looking in two different directions, he was wearing a ratty old, worn-out sweater in the pic, and his message to me was one disjointed long mess of conspiracy theories and self-praise. I deleted it so I can't share it here. Thank goodness, he lives outside the city, so there is little chance I will ever run into him. <sigh> Blocked, hidden, deleted.

All these things add up to make me wonder why it's such slim pickin's here in NYC. I see handsome men walking around all the time, why aren't they on OKC?

Why me? Either what I attract on OKC just sucks and I really should never login there again, or his profile is a joke. A terrible, terrible joke! :(:mad:
 
I have a lazy eye. But I chose a flattering picture for my OKC profile. One where I was turned away from the camera so even if my eye went off on its own, the camera wouldn't catch it as easily. Plus, when I take pictures, I try to make an effort to keep both my eyes in focus. I can sympathize with the lazy eye. But even socially awkward me makes the effort for a good picture. More so with a site like OKC. Point is, he should have made more of an effort.
 
I have nothing against people with a lazy eye! It was the overall combination of that with everything else - the crazy, unkempt hair & very long beard (and when I say unkempt, I mean really unkempt, like he hadn't touched a comb in years!), the ratty sweater, Neanderthal forehead, and looney ravings in his message. Oh, and he should've Photoshopped the red splotches off his nose - I didn't mention that! No, he didn't make any effort to look like someone that isn't stark raving mad and living in the woods somewhere, just coming out of hiding to connect with society every now and then. But lunatics need love too, I suppose.

I am still wondering if that profile was all a fake.
 
I have nothing against people with a lazy eye! It was the overall combination of that with everything else - the crazy, unkempt hair & very long beard (and when I say unkempt, I mean really unkempt, like he hadn't touched a comb in years!), the ratty sweater, Neanderthal forehead, and looney ravings in his message. Oh, and he should've Photoshopped the red splotches off his nose - I didn't mention that! No, he didn't make any effort to look like someone that isn't stark raving mad and living in the woods somewhere, just coming out of hiding to connect with society every now and then. But lunatics need love too, I suppose.

I am still wondering if that profile was all a fake.

Yikes! LOL That does sound creepy.
 
I have nothing against people with a lazy eye! It was the overall combination of that with everything else - the crazy, unkempt hair & very long beard (and when I say unkempt, I mean really unkempt, like he hadn't touched a comb in years!), the ratty sweater, Neanderthal forehead, and looney ravings in his message. Oh, and he should've Photoshopped the red splotches off his nose - I didn't mention that! No, he didn't make any effort to look like someone that isn't stark raving mad and living in the woods somewhere, just coming out of hiding to connect with society every now and then. But lunatics need love too, I suppose.

I am still wondering if that profile was all a fake.

I wasn't trying to imply you had/have anything against a lazy eye. I was agreeing that he should have done more in regards to his image. I am sorry if it came off that way. Showing that I, a person with a lazy eye, try to put my best foot forward. And by foot I mean eye. LOL
 
Put your best eye forward?...

As to how to start a conversation... What I usually do (on the rare occasions when I start a conversation on there) is find something on their profile that I can respond to. For example, if I remember right from the thread where you asked for advice, you had something about Pinky and the Brain in your profile. Since I'm a little familiar with the cartoon, I might say something like "I saw your profile and wondered whether you've taken over the world yet." Using something they mention in their profile shows that you've taken the time to read it (which is important to some, if not most, of us) and also ensures that you aren't doing a form message, as nycyndie mentioned is a bad idea.
 
I received this message a few minutes ago ...

"Would you consider a good quality MARRIED man for a boyfriend till you find a keeper husband for long-term? I will be monogamous with you and we can make it a mutually-beneficial win-win relationship."

Nothing says "I didn't bother to read anything you wrote" like missing the fact that I'm already married :rolleyes:
 
I received this message a few minutes ago ...

"Would you consider a good quality MARRIED man for a boyfriend till you find a keeper husband for long-term? I will be monogamous with you and we can make it a mutually-beneficial win-win relationship."

Nothing says "I didn't bother to read anything you wrote" like missing the fact that I'm already married :rolleyes:

Wait, a married man who says he will be monogamous with you?

What about the wife?

a "mutually beneficial win-win relationship"...? Are you trying to sell me a timeshare, or date me, dude, wow...
 
Wait, a married man who says he will be monogamous with you?

What about the wife?

a "mutually beneficial win-win relationship"...? Are you trying to sell me a timeshare, or date me, dude, wow...

Dead bedroom? Staying together for the kids? The irony is, if he'd read the damn profile and adjusted his greeting accordingly, I'd have at least written back to find out if his wife was ok with it all.

Sadly, he still doesn't make my top ten worst messages list.

This is the current winner...

"Hunny, you are cute and this is true finding out what melts your butter it's what I'd like to do.."

Bonus points for writing that while having his kid (grandkid? he's 59) in his profile pic!
 
Dead bedroom? Staying together for the kids? The irony is, if he'd read the damn profile and adjusted his greeting accordingly, I'd have at least written back to find out if his wife was ok with it all.

Sadly, he still doesn't make my top ten worst messages list.

This is the current winner...

"Hunny, you are cute and this is true finding out what melts your butter it's what I'd like to do.."

Bonus points for writing that while having his kid (grandkid? he's 59) in his profile pic!

*Cringe*...

I hate when they have kids in the pictures on OLD sites. That creeps me right out.

Like I get a parent mentioning that they've got kids and even the "we're a package deal" kind of sentiment...fine. You're shopping for an addition to your family, I get that. But photos of the children...that's...yeah I just don't like it. It feels creepy, unsafe, and like something that child is not old enough to consent to their likeness being posted on a dating website. It gives me all sorts of uncomfortableness.

I wonder, what is the thinking from forum posters in general about that?

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels that way, but what do most of ya think?

Oh, and that message, holy smokes, that was bad. I'm almost tempted to get back on there sometimes just for the entertainment value...
 
85% of men don't read the profiles.
 
But photos of the children...that's...yeah I just don't like it. It feels creepy, unsafe, and like something that child is not old enough to consent to their likeness being posted on a dating website. It gives me all sorts of uncomfortableness. I wonder, what is the thinking from forum posters in general about that?

I don't find it creepy, I assume that the person isn't concerned and just wants to share themselves looking joyful with kids and grandkids. They likely imagine that the pix make them more appealing to their target audience (women.) A lot of men (around my age, anyway,) post pix with kids and grandkids that appear to be underage. If a person were truly looking to perv on pix of kids, there are plenty to be had (Facebook!) and a dating website isn't really a fruitful source. It's not like anyone can find those kids based on the profile. I dunno, I understand your concern, but it doesn't bother me.

I think that most women do not post pix of underage kids. I don't recall having seen that ever.
 
Spork, I'm with you, it really kinda creeps me out when someone has their kid(s) in a dating profile pic. I won't even answer messages from guys who include their kids in their pics.
 
Doesn't OKC tell you to only show pics of your (own) face?
 
Doesn't OKC tell you to only show pics of your (own) face?

No, of course not. It says you must be in the picture. But lots of people post pix with family and friends, especially at weddings, it seems. Probably because they aren't good at selfies, and someone else shot them and sent it to them, and they are all dressed up and happy and think they look good.
 
I don't find it creepy, I assume that the person isn't concerned and just wants to share themselves looking joyful with kids and grandkids. They likely imagine that the pix make them more appealing to their target audience (women.) A lot of men (around my age, anyway,) post pix with kids and grandkids that appear to be underage. If a person were truly looking to perv on pix of kids, there are plenty to be had (Facebook!) and a dating website isn't really a fruitful source. It's not like anyone can find those kids based on the profile. I dunno, I understand your concern, but it doesn't bother me.

I think that most women do not post pix of underage kids. I don't recall having seen that ever.

Interesting.

In my area it's been more women than men I've seen post profile pics with kids included.

I have not only scoped OKC as a bi woman interested in both/either...but I've gotten the play-by-play on every bit of my ex's online dating experiences and shenanigans. He actually wanted me to write his profile, and blamed his lack of success in dating on the fact that I "wouldn't help him." But anyhow. I got to see lots of women's profiles. He also made sure I knew that I was one of only 12 women in Colorado Springs at the time who clicked the "casual sex" box on mine. *sigh* Um yeah, anyhow it is common enough along with the declaration that a woman's kids are a "package deal" with her. A sort of "date me, date my kids" thing. And I feel that would be an awful lot of pressure for any would-be dates, at the very least.

One woman that Old Wolf dated actually had their first date be one of her small kids' birthday party at Chuck E Cheese's.

Old Wolf didn't want to spend money, so he asked our boys for some of their old Star Wars figures (the little chunky ones that aren't worth anything) to clean up and give to the kid as a gift.

Do I need to list the things about all of this that seemed incredibly WRONG to me?

By the by. She "friend zoned" him but still occasionally calls when she needs someone to run an errand for her or drop one of her kids off somewhere or something like that.
 
Doesn't OKC tell you to only show pics of your (own) face?

As long as you're in the picture, it doesn't have to show your face. So, there are a lot where people are looking away or photographed from behind, and so on. If it's an image of a cartoon, landscape, your pets, or your kids without you somewhere in the shot, or a close-up of body parts, it can get flagged for removal.

I also always get creeped out by shots with underage kids in them, unless they blank out their faces somehow.
 
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How many pics do they let you post? (just wonderin')
 
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