Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Well, I figure if one of us has the antibodies, we all probably do!

It wasn’t just the cough, but the 2-week long fever. Any kind of sickness throws my body systems all out of whack - even stress has fucked up my cycle in the past.
Testing is so imprecise... I remember when my 3 kids and I had pertussis. We went to my dr to get tested as a group. We were all about 1-2 weeks into the coughing, and had found out that their cousin had tested pos. for pertussis.

(BTW, the kids were about ages 10-14 at the time. We were homeschooling, so they didn't infect anyone else. Oh, and it was summer anyway. Once we started coughing we didn't go out in public. The cousin was homeschooled too, in a different state. My kids' dad never came down with it.)

We had throat swabs. 2 of us tested pos. and 2 tested negative! I don't know about our antibodies afterwards. But it seemed so odd at the time that 2 of us tested negative, while having the same symptoms as the positive people. I suppose if you don't test pos for Covid, you could have had pertussis. *shrug*
 
DarkKnight is still coughing to the point of complete exhaustion, and the plan is for him to go see the doctor next week. I’m pretty tired myself - my coughs are less deep and intense, but they still leave me tired and worn out. They’re like my acid reflux coughs, just unending I am sick of experiencing them.

That said, if I lie still, they eventually calm. They also aren’t so bad if I am active - I took a 2 mile walk yesterday with MisterMoonbeam and they were not an issue. My goal was 1 mile, but I was doing well, so I continued. It was a paved, mostly level path in Virginia, so it wasn’t too strenuous.
 
DarkKnight is still coughing to the point of complete exhaustion, and the plan is for him to go see the doctor next week. I’m pretty tired myself - my coughs are less deep and intense, but they still leave me tired and worn out. They’re like my acid reflux coughs, just unending I am sick of experiencing them.

That said, if I lie still, they eventually calm. They also aren’t so bad if I am active - I took a 2 mile walk yesterday with MisterMoonbeam and they were not an issue. My goal was 1 mile, but I was doing well, so I continued. It was a paved, mostly level path in Virginia, so it wasn’t too strenuous.
Why does DK want to wait another whole week to be seen? Is he sick in bed, lying there exhausted? What if it's pneumonia? He might benefit from antibiotics.
 
He was waiting because the doctor said to wait. The doctor said the cough may take a while to run its course. When I said “next week” I meant today, the start of the next week. He’s going to call today. Sorry about being unclear!
 
I made a vet appointment this morning for our FIV+ cat, Olivia. You may remember that PunkRock & I adopted her last February, when on our beach trip in Ocean City. (Not that he stuck around or contributed one single dollar to her care since then.) Anyway, since she has been home, she has lost a significant amount of weight and is literally just bones. She is due for her shots but I will be taking her in on Thursday evening to get a lot of testing and bloodwork done. I have kept in contact with the vet this entire time, and we’ve been trying different things but she’s still just losing weight. She’s happy and playful, snuggly and sweet - and she always eats her food. We actually give her 4 different meals a day, and all the other cats get 3. I am afraid to say I think she probably has a complication with her FIV, but we are going to do everything we can to help her. Our stimulus check hit the bank account this morning, and I will be spending every dollar on my girl, if it’s needed.

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Ugh. I have lots I would like to write about, but so little time to get it all down! I’m on my own today with the Blessing Box, and I’ve cleared and organized a good section of the room after weeks of donations piling up, but I need to work on the bags and bags of clothing and toys that are blocking my sliding door, so my wheelchair-bound volunteer can come help. She’s a rockstar with assisting me, but right now I can’t actually have her over. Gah! Today though, I’m doing laundry from my trip to Virginia this past weekend, so that’s the opposite side of the room, and that’s what I am focusing on. I’m making lots of progress, but it is tiring.

I started slowly working on finances as well, for our polycule. Long term “state of the union” planning, and just regular budgeting. I paid $174 for my last doctor wellness visit - before I was sick, and made an order with chewy.com for our kitties.

Today I pulled our cell phone stats and we only owe 2 more payments on our youngest daughter’s phone, and then she’s supposed to port her number to an account with her boyfriend. This will save us $62 off our $191/month bill, so that will be nice.

DarkKnight has two more payments on his iPhone XR, but my iPhone 8 is eligible for an upgrade already. I don’t think any of us need to upgrade at the moment, to be honest. I’d rather not!

My oldest, my son, is still on our plan, but he bumps the bill $35/month, and he pays us that. However, he’s 30, and I would like him to transition to his own phone plan - maybe with BugGirl. It would be nice to get her off her Boost Mobile, because she is constantly paying it late and then no one can contact her. If they had a shared plan that he took care of, problems would be solved. He has to do something different, because he uses a flip phone and AT&T has told us he needs to join this century and so he will be upgrading his phone - which means more cost to him anyway.

I’m going to be seeing him tonight - he got his stimulus check and he needs to go grocery shopping. I’m his ride. BugGirl sent me a list of stuff their household needs - she’s been paying for ALL of the food the last few months and he hasn’t contributed at all. So a lot of his stimulus is going to go toward stocking up their cupboards and freezer. I figure I will have him sit in the backseat of the car and be masked, and I will spray Lysol when he leaves. I literally have only seen him like 3 or 4 times this year at a distance, and this makes me so sad!

I need to set up a schedule for clearing out MisterMoonbeam’s storage unit - it’s costing him like $290/month or something ridiculous like that. We have maybe a half of it emptied right now? He is planning on trading in his minivan in like April or May, so the plan I have is to close out the storage unit and use that cash to put toward a payment on his new car. He would like a Honda Fit, I think, but we will have more discussions on this is the near future. Anyway, I am going to schedule work on the storage unit every other Friday, as he has every other Friday off. We will cart out a car load and then spend the weekend sorting it and figuring out what to trash, donate, keep or sell.

Opposite weekends I plan to focus with DarkKnight on our unfinished side of the basement, as we are going to put some of MisterMoonbeam’s larger furniture pieces on that side, so he doesn’t have to keep paying for their storage in the unit.

MisterMoonbeam’s credit is a mess (he says) so I am going to pull all of his scores and reports and weighted scores next week and set up a plan to see what needs to be done. I am going to pay to pull all of DarkKnight’s as well, not that his are bad, but just to see if there is some tweaking I can do to optimize things. My goal is to improve both of their reports to the best of my ability this year, so in 2022, both of them are ready to purchase property - if we want to do so. We’ve talked separately about buying a building for the Blessing Box, maybe renting our current house to BugGirl and my son, building a bigger house for us, buying a duplex, doing something different...

So I have no idea what 2022 will look like, as far as my relationship structure will be, but I figure if I make improving both guys’ credit a priority, even if MisterMoonbeam leaves me, all of us will be fine with long term property goals then.

Gah! This is crazy long and I barely touched on anything.
 
My laptop cord is missing, so that makes things difficult - I left it plugged into the wall by the couch, which is where I use it! Now there’s a cord there that MisterMoonbeam plugged in, and he says he has no idea where my cord is. Seems sus. Lol I checked all of the outlets upstairs and nothing. I haven’t taken my computer downstairs so I really have no clue.

I talked to my youngest today, and she says she would like to get on a phone plan with her brother, so that will help get them both off of my plan and save me lots. Apparently her boyfriend is still on his parents’ plan as well. I asked her if she would like to go in with BugGirl too, but she didn’t answer yet. Honestly, this won’t be happening until like March, so it’s nothing that they need to work out completely right now.

I cried a little bit last night. I had taken my son out shopping and it was absolutely the most time I have spent with him all year. I miss him lots. I want to say he is a good kid, but he’s 31 and that’s not a kid. Lol Still, he’s my son, and he’s so crazy intelligent! He had a lot to say about the election, and the world in general.

I did more reading this morning about FIV in preparation for Olivia’s upcoming vet visit. Rapid weight loss is definitely a sign that her disease is taking hold. The bloodwork will definitely tell us more, but more than likely it will be her kidneys or cancer. If that is the case we will probably make a date to euthanize - she doesn’t seem to be in pain right now and I want her to go out happy. I am fairly sure we will be changing up her diet again, at the very least. I’m also concerned that she has had a sudden hearing loss too - I am fairly certain she is deaf.

I am sad and angry. She just turned 8 years old. Her early life was as a stray, and she spent 4 years in the shelter before I adopted her. She deserves more time being loved on here with our family! DarkKnight and her are besties and she follows him everywhere. He is going to be devastated.

Speaking of DarkKnight, he had a doctor appointment over FaceTime this morning, and they are sending him out for another Covid test this afternoon! We were both surprised by that because his fever ended a while ago. However, they are covering their bases with his cough and he was prescribed steroids AND and antibiotic. I’m glad.

The last few days I have been messaging back and forth with SmoothJazz. He’s lost his job so he’s searching. He was really helpful to DarkKnight when he was unemployed last year, but unfortunately, DarkKnight’s job has no openings - he’s the entire IT department for the entire US. He could probably use an assistant, but that’s not what SmoothJazz is looking for, and it’s not likely to happen right now anyway.
 
Okay, well DarkKnight was just put on leave at work. He went to talk to HR about taking time off this afternoon to get his Covid test, and they said they have to send him home until the results are back, especially since the doctor requested it. Rather than have him work from home, they said it’s easier to just have it under Covid relief and he can just have the time off with pay. He wasn’t about to argue. So he just came home to get the health care card to pay for his new meds, and then he’s going to have lunch with me here before heading to testing.
 
AMAZING NEWS

DarkKnight’s results are back from the regular Covid testing - negative.

I am going to go to the local gem shop today to pick up THREE rocks that I won in separate contests!

Looks like the Georgia runoff races have democrats kicking ass.

Someone rang my doorbell and handed me an envelope full of gift cards this morning, totaling $600.

Today is amazing and it isn’t even 11 am yet.
 
Another super cool thing that happened yesterday, is that a donor showed up with my official Little Library box! She had taken it back in December to paint it, and now it’s on my porch. I’ve had it for a couple of years, but I had been using the bottom of the Blessing Box to hold books. Now that space will be freed up for other things. I’m excited about it.

Today is BugGirl’s 30th birthday. She’s coming over after work to snag her presents.

I’m exhausted and anxious today. The nonsense at the Capitol didn’t help. I’ve started working on a couple of new programs for the Blessing Box, and it’s becoming more and more clear that I need to switch up the structure of what I am doing. I need to make an appointment with someone who understands nonprofit stuff.
 
I'm glad DK tested negative again, but was put on meds for his debilitating cough. Since he's negative, will he get to go back to work?
 
Yes, he went back to work today. He’s actually one of the more isolated employees anyway. Everyone else is in a cube farm, whereas he has a closed door. Being head of IT has its benefits - he’s been very happy to be away from the general population at work. Especially since for a large swath of the year, his work wasn’t enforcing masks. He would come home discouraged that he was the only one with a mask on his face all day!
 
Having sort of a blah day today. DarkKnight came home at lunch so I could snag the car for a quick trip to Walmart. I’m back home now and I’m back in pajamas - just not feeling being productive today! I did pay the electric bill, and I bought my youngest a present online for her upcoming birthday. What else? Oh! I got post cards today from the vet saying that ColePorter and Milton both are due for shots, so I called and made their appointments for next week.

Speaking of which, Olivia’s visit was okay. The vet found a large tumor on her thyroid, and we are awaiting blood test results now so we can plan. We have to see how her FIV is - what her immune system is doing. She can’t have surgery if she’s going to blow up with an infection. Radiation is also an option, or we just may treat with medication. We will see. We did discover that she is definitely deaf. She lost 2 pounds this past year, so I am glad we are now moving forward with finding out what course of treatment will be best for her.

I need to wrap the last of the Christmas gifts, that I am taking to New York tomorrow. The plan is to leave at ass o’clock and drive the 6 hours up to Canandaigua and leave them on the porches of my extended family, and then turn around and come home. I’m not going to have physical contact because honestly, none of them have been quarantining to the extent that I find okay. Ugh. I miss everyone, but I really don’t wanna make the drive. Still, it was over $200 to mail presents, and it will literally cost less than $30 to go there myself.
 
The drive up to New York yesterday was tiring, but I am glad I did it. Christmas is officially over! It was difficult seeing my extended family AND keeping distance between us, but I did it. My mom wore a mask, but it was hanging off her face. My sister didn’t have one on at all. Sigh. I wore mine and interacted very minimally

MisterMoonbeam and I talked a bunch on the trip about the Blessing Box plans and how they will effect our budgeting/long term planning/moving possibilities. I’m still anxious about the process of figuring things out, but he was very supportive.

I plan to pull everyone’s credit reports and scores today or tomorrow, and start making lists of changes and updates needed to be done. We know his is going to be atrocious, but I know what to do when it comes to credit! DarkKnight’s should be solid and I think we will just need to tweak the utilization on his one credit card - his other cards have a zero balance right now. I have a plan in place to pay off the big one with a balance.

We also talked about our sex life, because frankly, it sucks. We both know it, but he has just seemed so disinterested in making any changes, that I have pretty much just started treating him as if he was an asexual partner, and that helped my mental state lots. He said he is going to start therapy - he’s going to call around and do research starting Monday. I am skeptical about this, as he’s said so before, and I have a solid history of my ex, PunkRock, starting and stopping his mental health assistance again and again and again. Until I see it actually happening, I honestly can’t believe it. I WANT to believe him, but it’s difficult to trust that when there hasn’t been any action so far.

We literally had sex a total of 10 times in the 9 months we’ve been together. It’s extremely frustrating to me - but at the same time, he’s amazing in so many other ways. He’s got a lot of depression and trauma he’s trying to handle by himself, but it’s just not working. The meds he’s on suppress his libido, and he’s had issues with his partners shaming him in the past for things he likes. Only - those things he likes are things I am totally down to do!

We discussed some things we are also going to do together ourselves to try and increase our sexytimes - playing more with toys, watching porn together. He said he WANTS to improve this issue, but wasn’t able to actually make any changes so far. So I don’t know if he will follow through or not. I would be happy with him just doing the mental health portion of it - that will be a positive on all aspects of his life!
 
OMG OMG OMG

MisterMoonbeam bought me a dildo from Bad Dragon! I have always wanted one but they were pricey and I held off. He got me a small Ridley in the signature color. It looks soooo pretty! He paid for two day shipping too! We aren’t sure when it will actually ship but once it does it’ll be here super quick.

Look at it!!

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Small means 7” in length.
 
However, it turns out he has always been into me - he said he’s just “reserved” and anxious about appearing too intense and ruining things.
Those reserved ones can always catch you off guard. Glad you got your NRE feelings reciprocated.

Glad you have had some good things happening recently for you as the end of year was a bit if a bummer man.

That is one cool sex toy!
 
I had fabulous times last night with MisterMoonbeam. I guess shopping for sex toys got him riled up! It was quite enjoyable until he pulled a muscle in his leg. He did it right at the end, so it didn’t ruin his finish all over my tits. Fucking amazing.

I am now absolutely exhausted today and I am dragging ass. I forgot that someone was dropping off produce boxes so I snuggled in for a nap this afternoon, only to be woken by the doorbell JUST as I was nodding off. Ugh. Still 30 boxes of veggies for the community are worth waking up for!

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We heard back from the vet and I am fairly certain we will be scheduling surgery for Olivia near the end of the month. It’s going to cost $740, but that tumor needs to be removed! Her bloodwork came back that she is most definitely hyperthyroid, and her liver numbers are also way off. The good news is that her FIV is not active right now - her immune system is doing its job. That means she can have the surgery and not have to worry about infections. Well, not any more than a regular kitty, I mean. If we put it off, that might not be the case. So I took a look at the budget and we can swing it. I’m going to call tomorrow to get the surgery on the calendar.

I did pull both my guys’ FICO scores and credit reports and there were no big surprises. We have work to do for MisterMoonbeam, but less than he anticipated. Right now both he and DarkKnight have credit cards they need to pay down, as the high utilization on them is pulling down the scores quite significantly. MisterMoonbeam should be okay to get a car along the timeline I had set, as long as we get his one maxed card under control. I will be working on budgeting for that with him over the next week.

The plan is to get both guys into tip top financial shape so we can be ready to buy another piece of property next year. MisterMoonbeam and I talked about the options we have. One thing I have been really bouncing around is maybe renting out our current home to my son and BugGirl. MisterMoonbeam said it was also a possibility to rent to him alone, and have DarkKnight and I move to the new property! To be honest, I had never thought of that. We had talked about him moving out and getting his own apartment or house, if he decides that is what he wants to do in the future, but I did not think about DarkKnight and I heading out and leaving him in this house! It’s definitely a possibility.

I personally would love to buy a bigger property together, and all 3 of us move out and cohabitate, and I told him this. He said, he understands that would be the ideal. None of us are really set on any specific setup right now though. He’s still figuring out who he is and what he wants, and I have yet to meet with a lawyer to discuss structuring and creating my non profit.

DarkKnight says he is open to lots of possibilities - we just need to talk through them and it will work out how it’s supposed to in the end. I am not that calm of a person, but he is probably right!

The year is progressing, I guess!
 
I have been super tired the last few days, and today is no exception. I scheduled Olivia’s surgery for Jan 22, and I have a list of things to do on my day off tomorrow. I was handling laundry a short bit ago, and I really should be unpacking & marking donations right now. I just kinda don’t want to right now. Yawn.

I talked to MisterMoonbeam about his storage unit and starting to focus on scheduling days to empty it out, and the plan is to work on it every other Friday, when he has the day off. I think we are going to have a big issue though - his vehicle still has Virginia plates and it is now unregistered and the inspection is up in March. It’s not been driven for a while. He got his license switched, but nothing to do with the van. It’s insured though. I’m not sure that waiting until May to get him a car is going to work. His plan is to trade the van in, but I’m not sure it can sit out front unregistered that long! Maybe we will get a car cover until then? Gah!

It’s going to be a waste to pay to register it here in Maryland for just a few months, but he might have to do it. Shit. The thing is that it won’t pass inspection without some repairs, and there just doesn’t seem to be a reason to dump more money into it just to trade it in for a couple thousand dollars.
 
Today the Box is closed but I’ve spent the entire day so far focused on it. I read my first book about nonprofits, “Start a 501c3 Nonprofit that Doesn’t Ruin Your Life,” and it made me incredibly anxious. So I texted with one of my mentors, and she told me to chill out and she did the paperwork for her organization and it wasn’t difficult at all. Then I texted with another mentor, and she called me and talked me off the ledge with the same statement.

I’m going to start another book later today.

I did a group text with my 3 main volunteers and they were very encouraging as well.

My first concern is rebranding and changing the Blessing Box’s name, as it has my location in it. My plan is to buy a building or a new space that is zoned commercial and residential next year, so the location will change. So, the name has to change. I want to be able to register everything under the new name, if I could only think of one! Everyone that comes here now just calls us “The Box,” like, “I’m going down the the Box to get some formula.” So I would like to be able to just call our new location that. But the Box will be the whole space, not just a section of my porch. :) It’s hard to come up with names that work and sound good. I’ve got Hagerstown Help Box on the short list, but it’s only because I can’t come up with anything creative today!
 
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