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Put a cot in the garage for him, and ban him from the bedroom. Move ALL his hobby stuff to the garage, then stay out. Reclaim the rest as shared space and use it as you wish. If you keep acting like a doormat, he'll keep treating you like one.

I find that another partner simply intensifies the feelings and connection with all (both) my partners. Another partner complements my original partner to some degree, providing personality, interests, and sexual variety that one person can't. As someone put it in another thread, there is...

I'm happy with my poly journey. Presently I don't have other partners or prospects - but I'd like some! I think some people can - and do - do well with non-hierarchical, network poly. I don't think I'm one of them. I really like a deep, secure, lasting relationship (perhaps including marriage -...

The real test will come if you want to have children with her, or perhaps if she chooses to divide her time and live part-time with you (and that is less likely if she has a child with her husband). I suspect that her husband will not be okay with either (knowing nothing about him other than he...

And a more general look at legalities: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-polyamorists-next-door/201401/the-five-most-common-legal-issues-facing-polyamorists

There were some blogs and such several years ago, about this. Here's a link to one for NC. http://non-monodiscourse.blogspot.com/2011/12/non-monogamous-families-and-law-part-34.html

I think your bf's actions are breaches of honesty and trust. How would you deal with this kind of behavior from your husband? That's how you should respond to this, IMO. BTW, where is your husband in all this, or does he not have any direct involvement in this, or with your bf?

For me, it has to be an ethical, honest relationship, or it can't happen, can't continue. My wife feels the same way. How would you feel if your wife - instead of coming out to you about her poly identity and including you in the process - had chosen to cheat on you with someone else?

We both came from prior marriages that had been completely, traditionally monogamous for many years. Our transition happened near the very beginning of our relationship, but we were both interested in - and open to - poly based on early readings that had influenced us (Robert Heinlein). We were...

I think it should be entirely your decision, but you should then inform your partners about it. They can decide if they want to continue a relationship with you, given that they will not be able to have children with you. If you are open to the possibility of having children with your other...

I make allowances for other views and ignorance, but I would draw the line at someone grabbing me or pushing me. If it wasn't done very gently, my aikido training might come into play and they'd be on the floor, and I'd press charges for assault.

It's my impression - and often acknowledged by other people - that it is much more difficult for men to meet women in an open/poly relationship than it is for women who are in open relationships. My wife would have no difficulty meeting multiple men a week if she were so inclined, whereas I have...

The only advantage of meeting everyone quickly is that you can be sure that no one is cheating and just presenting themselves as being poly or in an open relationship. Once that is established, you may never see the spouse again. I'd rather establish some connection first, but you can establish...

I think it's perspective. Every man and woman is different, and having the opportunity to experience that is a great gift. It doesn't make the experience with someone else better overall, but perhaps just different in one way that's fun. Do you think she's so enthralled with a large penis that...

Patience and support are the only productive things you can do here. Things will resolve on their own, I think. Or perhaps these outside influences have her questioning the whole relationship with you, and she will pull away - again, there is nothing productive you can do except be patient and...

I think you have a right to know some things, such as when he has plans with her, and when the relationship becomes sexual, but not about what they do or say to each other during those time. An exception would be her trying to convince him to change his relationship with you, or interfere in any...

I would say mine have been long term and successful, but the nature of the relationship has also changed over the years. My first poly relationship started about 16 years ago. It included me, my gf (and future wife), and my other gf. The sexual aspect lasted about 6 or 7 years, but the last few...

OP, most relationships don't last a lifetime any longer. We have to enjoy them and make the best of them that we can, but not avoid them because they may end. This is true whether you're monogamous or poly, IMO. You need to decide if this is something you want to pursue - even hypothetically or...

You are entitled to want what you want, but not to dictate - even to your spouse - that it has to be that way. You can negotiate new rules, or agree to close the relationship, or you can leave (in which case she'll either have to make a different choice, or accept the split). And if rules or...

My wife suggested it back when we first met. I was open to the idea already, but had not previously met anyone who would even consider it. My first marriage was traditionally monogamous.