MermaidPrincess
New member
So.... this is my first truly poly relationship, and we're still figuring things out... a little background:
I met boyfriend on Whisper and we hit it off really well, halfway through our first date he told me about Girlfriend. No worries. Don't really care. Girlfriend is currently living in a different state with plans to move closer to me and Boyfriend. Girlfriend only wants me and Boyfriend to be "playmates" until she gets to know me more and moves up here (she's very nervous about all of this since its her first poly relationship too. At first she straight up said no after telling Boyfriend he could find someone to add to the relationship.)
Girlfriend and I both like calling Boyfriend "Daddy." Today we were casually talking about dynamics (boyfriend was a dumbass and I asked if he really was the dom. XD) And I had said I could be Girlfriend's Mommy. Boyfriend said I could be the mommy, he could be the daddy, and Girlfriend could be our baby girl. And I had said "Boyfriend can be my daddy too!!"
To which Girlfriend said "yeah no. That'll be one of our rules if this works out. Only I can call him daddy." I said how that wasn't fair. Boyfriend messaged me separately and explained that she's possessive of the pet name. She said in group chat that "it's just our thing. It's how we bonded." I reiterated how it was unfair to me as it made it seem like I was extremely conditional. And how I would never ask either of them to not call each other something....
I get that it's "their thing"... and I get that I'm entering into an already established relationship and things are tense right now between me and Girlfriend since she's so far away. I understand, I've been in her shoes before. But to put conditionals on something like a pet name just seems so unfair to me.... Am I wrong? Am I wrong for getting upset about it? I conceded, at least for now. With the caveat that we need to come back to this conversation once things are more established. I'm just very concerned as I actually do enjoy Girlfriend. I don't want there to be unneeded tension between us over a stupid name....
I met boyfriend on Whisper and we hit it off really well, halfway through our first date he told me about Girlfriend. No worries. Don't really care. Girlfriend is currently living in a different state with plans to move closer to me and Boyfriend. Girlfriend only wants me and Boyfriend to be "playmates" until she gets to know me more and moves up here (she's very nervous about all of this since its her first poly relationship too. At first she straight up said no after telling Boyfriend he could find someone to add to the relationship.)
Girlfriend and I both like calling Boyfriend "Daddy." Today we were casually talking about dynamics (boyfriend was a dumbass and I asked if he really was the dom. XD) And I had said I could be Girlfriend's Mommy. Boyfriend said I could be the mommy, he could be the daddy, and Girlfriend could be our baby girl. And I had said "Boyfriend can be my daddy too!!"
To which Girlfriend said "yeah no. That'll be one of our rules if this works out. Only I can call him daddy." I said how that wasn't fair. Boyfriend messaged me separately and explained that she's possessive of the pet name. She said in group chat that "it's just our thing. It's how we bonded." I reiterated how it was unfair to me as it made it seem like I was extremely conditional. And how I would never ask either of them to not call each other something....
I get that it's "their thing"... and I get that I'm entering into an already established relationship and things are tense right now between me and Girlfriend since she's so far away. I understand, I've been in her shoes before. But to put conditionals on something like a pet name just seems so unfair to me.... Am I wrong? Am I wrong for getting upset about it? I conceded, at least for now. With the caveat that we need to come back to this conversation once things are more established. I'm just very concerned as I actually do enjoy Girlfriend. I don't want there to be unneeded tension between us over a stupid name....