Deleted member 410660
And.. I agree here too. It's up to me to decide if this whole deal is something I want to continue to be involved with, whatever he does or doesn't.Oh, OK. Yes, I agree completely. Be that as it may, the ball is NOT in his court. The ball belongs to Anna. She can choose to take responsibility for her own life, and stop trying to get anywhere this beaten nearly dead horse on the creepy amusement park ride.
Annabelle, I am being a bit "tough love" here, but I say what I do from a place of kindness and concern. I know how hard it can be to make big changes. Hell, I remained in a marriage for 10 years longer than I should have.
I had a good laugh just now, out loud, about this beaten nearly dead horse on the 'creepy amusement park ride'. Thanks I needed that!! LOL. You aren't wrong.
The part here that is also important is sort of unrelated to the actual 'romantic love' we share, it's much more complex and deep than that. We've been through a lot together and have been there for one another through thick and thin, and are really family to one another. Both of us want me to be a part of his children's lives too, but only such that it doesn't rock the boat in his home while they are not yet adults, or otherwise have a negative effect on them. I send them small tokens every so often to let them know I do think of them.
That is what really connects us together at the heart of it, beyond all the issues etc, and that is what makes it worth it to me to remain a part of his life if I can do it while having dignity and not being miserable about it.
It just may not be possible for me to do that. I really appreciate your honest and direct response, Madlyn. It's really hard to walk away from some things, no matter how messed up they are.
I also stayed in a bad marriage for about 10 years. Ffs before that it had been and relationship and an engagement I should have walked away from!
You are right to encourage me to take things into hand for my own benefit, and I need that. I am a people-pleaser, and I can definately worry more about Winter than myself at times.
It is my responsibility to see to my wellness and happiness, whatever that means.