"Elric" seems to have compersion to the point of being happy for me in my marriage, but is still caught up in the conditioning that he is not allowed to share or be a part of my happiness.
Do you mean he doesn't feel he can be a full part of the relationship between you two or he feels he would be taking something away from it? You should be happy he is so respectful of your relationship. If he does manage to open up you will get a very caring partner in my opinion. Is he monogamous in nature like me?