In the garden

Did you say if you'd had your iron levels checked lately?
Mid last year I think. All good then. Actually, just remembered that it wasn't all good and I was given some iron supplements. Still have some left, so I had one straight away.

I got sent home from work today just before midday. It was just sports day. I slept for about an hour and have just been lying in bed since.

Phone appointment with doc already booked for Monday. I booked it a few days ago, I guess I'll be feeling better by then anyway if I have iron supplements for a few days.
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Aha! The majority of people who menstruate are anemic. It's very important to take those supplements and to eat a diet with a goodly amount of iron-rich foods. It can take 3-6 months of being on your iron supplement to bring your levels up. Also, it really helps to take a vitamin C supplement when you take your iron pill to maximise absorption.
Honestly, I suspect it's B12 deficiency anemia since I've not been able to get my B12 drops for many months. Hopefully the doc will order a blood test which will show this and I can switch to injections.
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I'm less tired today. Which, sadly, means I'm experiencing some anxiety over getting work done (ADHD procrastination at work right now). God I hate being a basket case. Where did fully functional me go? This isn't the person I know 😥
Today is Adam and my 8th wedding anniversary ☺️ (it's Tuesday so we're celebrating next weekend, and kinda last weekend).

And I got blood tests this morning for all the usual suspects, from anemia to thyroid to liver to hormones. But overall, I wasn't fatigued today.
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Happy anniversary!
Happy Anniversary.
Congrats on getting those labs done!
I have had a great social weekend, first with nibbles and drinks with my new friend on Friday night, then a really great call with Puck on Saturday morning, and then a lovely night with Adam celebrating our anniversary slightly belatedly on Saturday night. It's now 1pm Sunday and I have work today which I'm struggling so much to get started. I'm trying to not let it become an existential crisis about the disastrous model of compulsory education and my role in perpetuating the societal violence that is schooling as most of us know it and yada yada yada causes, consequences, Fordism, neoliberalism, trickle up capitalism, et cetera.

And on top of all of that, I'm now really worried about catching Covid because it's rife and yes, at least I (and most of my fellow countrymen) and double vaxxed and many are boosted (including me) so it shouldn't be "too bad" - but I'm still scared of being really sick since I had such a rough time with the booster. And I've waited so long to visit Puck and am concerned that that would be jeopardised. And I know I'm just borrowing trouble from the future, but for all I know, that future could be this week.

So, today I'm going to go mark tests and try to write up student friendly copies of unit plans while trying to not feel it's all futile.

It really was a great Saturday, so I'm probably a bit droppy today. (ya think?)
Blood tests all normal. Everything. No anemia. No identifiable perimenopause (even though I had a spectacular hot flash today). No liver or thyroid issues.

So now what? Do I drop it until I feel like absolute shit again? I'm doing okay this week. Possibly better than I have been in a while. I am working longer and have energy in the evening.

Sure I'd taken a couple of supplements for a couple of days before my tests, but anemia doesn't vanish in a weekend. They'd be able to see the smaller red blood cells or whatever.

So, hive mind, do I go back to the doc for more answers or just drop it?
It's hard to say. My gut would be to keep taking your supplements. I remember one time I had to be on blood-thinners (anticoagulants) due to having had blood clots. I was bleeding vaginally like crazy on my periods for a couple of months. One day I got so incredibly dizzy, I could hardly walk and had to go to bed at 8pm. I was, awkwardly, out of town visiting my parents for their anniversary. As soon as I got home I went for blood tests and they saw no anemia. I was shocked. But my condition persisted and I went back to the dr for another test a few days later and my blood count was extremely low. It just didn't show up in the first test, for whatever reason! I was so low they told me to definitely take supplements, and if I didn't improve in a few days, I would need to come in for infusions. Luckily I did improve by taking iron with Vitamin C.

Also, when you're in perimenopause, your hormones swing wildly. They could cause a hot flash one day, and seem normal in a blood test on another day.
Adam took it upon himself to book me the next doctor appointment for Monday afternoon.

Today is Friday and even though I caught up on sleep last night, this morning I'm fatigued after getting ready for work.

But I'm also breaking the rules and wearing jeans (fancy ones) and a suit jacket I haven't worn in ages. I look pretty darn hot, in a corporate casual way.
Aaaaand yesterday I put my back out (again, it's a recurring thing and it's been a while since the last time).

I'm getting a little sick and tired of being injured, and sick, and tired. I'm on a lot of codeine and voltaren right now and it's still hurting. I'm having tomorrow off work, I just need to let them know and set relief.

I managed to buy some fabric and a very simple skirt pattern yesterday that I aim to embellish, but I want to learn to sew to a pattern so I have to start somewhere. But first, I need to get mobile enough again to cut and sew. I spent this morning having a longer call with Puck and now I'm going to go find Adam and see how he's doing. He's preparing a bunch of stuff for a thing next weekend. I'll be helping out with that thing and was supposed to be doing prep stuff with him his weekend, but my back has meant I've been useless.

Years ago, I wrote about a FWB from long even before that, Cheese. I heard from his ex gf this morning via Facebook. He's back in prison and this time for a very different crime. His mind is slipping from substance use and his antisocial behaviour is escalating. He's not likely to admit he actually has a problem so no therapy is going to make a difference so I'm afraid I actually agree with incarceration because he's becoming more and more of a menace to everyone around him.
It's been a hell of a week. First with back pain (Monday off work) and then Monday afternoon I had a call with my GP (doc) and he prescribed new meds (a goddamn SSRI for anxiety). I started them Wednesday morning and by Thursday morning I was having such bad side effects I wondered if I had Covid. A rapid antigen test later, no, just side effects, but I had already gone home from work. I thought I'd be able to work on Friday, but after I got there I was so nauseated I had to come home again. Saturday was slightly better, but today - being Sunday - I have decided to switch to taking it in the evening. Honestly, I'm pretty sure the doc is just treating a symptom and there's still some underlying cause, but with my bloods all fine we're not going to find out what it is anytime soon. In the past, if I've been finding a job is negatively affecting my wellbeing, I've always had the means to quit for a while through some serendipity. But now, with a mortgage, and hankerings to travel, not a chance.

So because I didn't feel like crap today, I finally got a chance to really have a chat with Puck (yesterday I had to hang up and fall asleep rather than have our usual long weekly call). Today, he was preparing for a fwb to come over for the night, but we still got to talk between Renee (his wife) heading out on her overnight regular weekly date and, lets call her Siobhan, coming over. Siobhan is also one of Selene's friends and usually he'd see Selene on a Saturday night, but she's not well at the moment and just taking some self care quiet time. But amidst all of this metamour stuff, Puck said thank you to me for quite a number of things and got both of us teary. I keep telling myself it's March already. In a blink it will be time to book tickets and in another blink I'll be there. I desperately hope nothing (especially metamour stuff) gets in the way of us spending the unbroken time together that we need after what will end up being over two and a half years after I was supposed to be here. My biggest fear is that a meta gets sick or a meta's relative dies (not entirely impossible) and it means he has to go spend the time with them while I'm there for what is a comparatively short time. I'd get it, I wouldn't ever try to prevent him going where he's needed, but I'd be - we'd both be - devastated.

In more local news, my new friend from work - let's call her...umm...(this is hard)...Nova - Nova has had Covid for a week now and when I woke up at ungodly o'clock this morning she had left me messages saying she was in a bad way. She called the ambulance, was a little despondent they were taking so long, but they arrived and picked her up and took her to hospital. I went and collected her dog and gave him breakfast and cuddles and I'll take him for a walk later. He was so good about getting in my car this time (it's his third time in there but first time without her) and he had fun when he got here running around my garden marking everything.

This afternoon I better turn my attention to preparing for work tomorrow, although I also want to do something self-care wise - I'm just not sure what. We have a house guest at the moment - a human one - who is a friend of Adam's, so they've gone out tiki touring this afternoon. I'm glad to have the house to myself and I'm getting through some chores, especially sans nausea and drowsiness since I'm not taking the new meds until this evening. God they better work in the long run.
My next plan is to find a nutritionist.
Fingers crossed for you. About 10 years ago I started getting pretty sick and trying to figure out the cause was incredibly frustrating. All my general bloods were excellent and an ER doctor suggested anti depressants. I knew it wasn’t depression causing it (not because I have a stigma about it, I just knew that that wasn’t it).

Long story short, cutting out gluten was a game changer, but not a perfect fixer. I later did the FODMAP trial (it’s a process of eliminating different types of foods and then reintroducing each group gradually) and found out I’m sensitive to fructans (diffferent to fructose), which is a protein found in foods containing gluten, onion, garlic and others.

Im not suggesting I’ve solved your problems, but it’s worth looking into x
I switched to taking the ssri on Sunday evening (rather than morning) thinking I'd sleep off the intense side effects. Nope. It messed with my sleep and I woke up still feeling super nauseated. Luckily I could start my day slightly later today and Adam helped me battle through the morning before going to work. It's now nearly 2pm and I'm still slightly queasy and I'm grinding my teeth, again. That's been another side effect.

I'm not taking another pill. I'll book in with the doc again and let him know this was a complete fail.
Today is Friday and I'm past those ssri side effects. Doc is sending me for more tests but I have to come off my contraceptive pill for 5 days first.

I don't have an ordinary school day today because we are working from home with video based parent conferences - and only 3 parents want to talk with me so I'm having a super chill day. I've noticed my pain levels are higher, but that's probably because I'm plonked on the sofa rather than moving about like I normally would around the class.

We've had over 24 hours of heavy rain and the region is suffering from slips, floods and we have to boil drinking water. Good thing school is closed anyway, even yesterday some of the school buses had issues getting through.

Adam transported 3 Covid patients yesterday so fingers crossed his PPE held up. Honestly, we're not sure which one of us will get it first but with our jobs it's practically inevitable. And I know that will upset Puck because he will worry deeply about my recovery.

Honestly, I'm feeling slightly ugh today, so I could already be incubating it courtesy of one (or more) of my students. I always wear an N95 in class, but you never know.

It's not even 1pm and I'm ready for today to be over. But I can't nap this afternoon, still video conferences to do.
I'm so sorry for all your health struggles!
Thanks Mags. Perhaps the next blood tests will yield useful information.

I tried to contact a nutritionist, she never messaged me back. Sigh.