Irony Is Dead

[Ostrich]

You could save yourself a shit ton of trouble if you went to parallel poly instead of this painful attempt at kitchen table poly. Really.

Block the social media of your metamours. You don't need to be friends with them. You don't need to hang out with them. You say you don't want to see them, but you keep relating instances of hangouts, movies and dinner now, stress over seating arrangements.

Let those 3 in their triad be.

And you really really don't need to be DAG's sounding board for what may go on between his/their relationships with one or the other of his/their partners.

There are so many dyads here, and every single one of those dyads should mind their own business. It would save so much trouble, prevent so many issues, rest those tired eyes that keep rolling to the backs of heads.

You mind the DAG+you dyad. And let DAG air out their grievances to other friends or their counselor. Time with you should be time with you. Not an ongoing counseling session of the awkwardness DAG is having trying to date a couple. Honestly, dating a couple is a ton of trouble. DAG chose it; DAG can deal with it.

I don't wonder at you emotionally distancing yourself from DAG. I broke up with a bf of 2 1/2 years to a large extent because he began to date a married couple, and they were all being so stupid, and he was being so annoying with me with his exaggerated elations one week and his deep depressions the next week, with those 2. The married couple began doing all kinds of shady things in jockeying for his attention, and honestly, my bf was narcissistic enough to enjoy being the bone (pun intended) the two dogs were pulling on. I just got sick of that real fast. It showed me a very ugly side of the bf I thought I knew.

Mags, thank you very much for your insight and sharing your experience. Your advice is a welcomed slap in the face. I sincerely mean that in the best possible light. It helps tremendously.

Please know I have tried to be as open and transparent as possible in relaying my experiences in the overall situation. I have been no saint, but others in this haven't come out clean either.

The advice about dyads minding their own business is golden. All I want to know at this point is if overarching issues are resolved, or are ongoing. I don't even want to know who is involved in those issues. Again, he implemented his own version of DADT to protect himself from my emotional strain. How he visits one of his 'friends', without involving the other, is beyond me. I don't even know how that works.

As far as the hangouts, these were back in November, December and January, before I decided to not have anything to do with those two. I cut ties the week of Valentines Day this year. Since then, I haven't heard 'boo' from either of them. While I did issue an apology to Bruiser, they have not responded to the apology. At this point, I don't care if they do or not.

Social media. You're absolutely right. I have no business in their public lives. No more access for me. I unfriended FistiCuffs on FB back in February. Bruiser never accepted my FB friend request, so I deleted it. No more visits to Bruiser's twitter account. Lesson learned

DAG wants kitchen table poly. At this point, I doubt that will ever happen. I am up for parallel poly, but more discussions need to be had before moving down that road.

Your feedback is very welcome, and lands on an open mind. Thank you very much for taking time to comment!!!

 

[Magdlyn]

You're welcome. I'm glad it helped a little. I didn't realize you'd cut all or most ties with your metas back in the early part of the year. That's good.

 

[YouAreHere]

Still haven't gone through the whole thread, but just wanted to comment a bit...

I also did not want to get back into the dating pool, because who would want to date a middle aged, self conscious asshole.

You'd be surprised how many people think about themselves in the same way. Hopefully, by middle age, most people also realize that other people in the dating pool are *real* people.

You're a real person, not a picture on some dating app ad. And that's *ok*.

I love open world games (I would have Fallout tattooed on my ass, if I had room for it).

Fallout lovers, unite!! YASS!
(Although I really haven't gotten into Fallout 76... really enjoyed it at first, then felt burned by some of the game's bugs and never really got back into it. Bummer. Wastelanders seems pretty cool.)

Out of the blue, Bruiser invites me to their house to play a game one afternoon. [...] I accepted the invite, but couldn't figure out the logistics of traveling to and from their house, and have enough time to play a video game. Bruiser suggested we play at our house.

I freaked. I was not about to play a video game at my house while both of our partners were in the basement, having carnal knowledge. All four of us knowing what the other 3 were doing. Again I. DID. NOT. SIGN. UP. FOR. THIS.

I doubled my efforts to figure out a way to make the logistics work for playing at Bruiser's house. Still not making it work, I backed out, saying we could play later in the week. Later that night, I gave Bruiser the truth about why l backed out. They were not happy with me, as I should have been up front with them on the reason why.

But you were upfront that same day. You just needed time for your emotions to settle before talking about it. I think the expectation that you have all your emotional shit together instantly is a bit much on Bruiser's part, to be honest.

Okay, I'll go through the rest. NRE is a bitch. Emotions are, like Galagirl says, like the weather - they just ARE. And you're still in the phase where you're learning what to do with them.

I'll read the rest of the thread, but at this point, I'm thinking there could be a little more compassion for you trying to work through your emotions. You *are* trying, which is commendable. It helps when there's compassion on all sides.

 

[YouAreHere]

Also, since I've known Geyser for decades, the dreaded NRE monster won't rear it's ugly head anytime soon.

Again, I haven't finished reading the whole thread, but be careful about this assumption. I was friends with Chops for a long time, and NRE bit me hard. Just an anecdote, but long friendships don't mean you're immune.

 

[Ostrich]

Fallout lovers, unite!! YASS!
(Although I really haven't gotten into Fallout 76... really enjoyed it at first, then felt burned by some of the game's bugs and never really got back into it. Bummer. Wastelanders seems pretty cool.)

Totally OT: Give 76 another shot. The addition of the factions is a huge leap forward, as those additions have some really good missions/stories. I experience some glitches (getting into the power armor continues to be an issue for me), but other than that, I am really enjoying it.

I'll read the rest of the thread, but at this point, I'm thinking there could be a little more compassion for you trying to work through your emotions. You *are* trying, which is commendable. It helps when there's compassion on all sides.

Like I've said others who have commented on this thread, please feel free to provide feedback. I'm using this forum to vent and help further process my feelings and emotions, not necessarily to solicit advice or feedback. If there are those who wish to chime in, they are free to do so.

With that, thank you for your comments. It has been a long road for me to get to a place where I feel comfortable with asking questions, and stating my wants and needs.

 

[Ostrich]

A Discussion with Geyser

So I had a conversation with Geyser yesterday about sharing contact info with DAG. Geyser wasn't sure why such a thing needed to happen. Their point was 'I don't know DAG, and I trust you in telling me the truth about all things related to all these relationships, so why do I need contact info.'

My argument was 'In case there is an emergency involving me, you and DAG can contact each other' Which was the basis of why DAG wanted me to have Bruiser's and FistiCuff's contact info. I think this is a sound idea. Being prepared and all.

But Geyser wasn't having it. OK, fine by me. Contact information will not be exchanged.

I mention this, as I am still learning about boundaries, and how to apply them. This was another very positive teaching moment, especially from Geyser.

According to them, they have been in a few poly relationships, and with that, brings experience to our friendship. I'm definitely open to listening to them, and hope to learn through them about how I can navigate my relationship with them and with DAG.

This has lead me to be more confident in asking questions of both DAG and Geyser. I have a much better handle on how to be more specific with my questions, and follow-on discussions.

I am really enjoying my interactions with Geyser. It's not just about catching up with each other, and reconnecting, it's about sharing ideas and learning from others. So far, this has been a very positive experience. I hope this continues.

I now have a positive outlook for the future and my anxiety is lessening. YAY!

 

[AlwaysGrowing]

So Geyser doesn't want to know if you have a freak accident and end up in a coma or other medically fragile state that would prevent you from being able to contact him? Or does DAG have permission to find him via social media or something if tragedy strikes?

I get parallel poly/not actively engaging with DAG, but I don't get refusing the courtesy of information in an emergency. Even as a close friend, I would think he'd want to know if something happened to you. Or are there other mutual friends that would be able to get him that info?

 

[Ostrich]

So Geyser doesn't want to know if you have a freak accident and end up in a coma or other medically fragile state that would prevent you from being able to contact him? Or does DAG have permission to find him via social media or something if tragedy strikes?

I get parallel poly/not actively engaging with DAG, but I don't get refusing the courtesy of information in an emergency. Even as a close friend, I would think he'd want to know if something happened to you. Or are there other mutual friends that would be able to get him that info?

Sorry I wasn't clear. I got permission from Geyser to give their number to DAG. So at least DAG has their number, just in case.

This is my want, not DAG's nor obviously Geyser's. DAG knows the reasons why, as he and I discussed this in relation to DAGs loves, and came to an agreement to share contact info with them.

While I know I can only do so much, my plan is to state my case again to Geyser, and hope for the best.

Yes, it is weird to me that contact info wouldn't be shared, in case something happens to me when I am out with someone.

 

[JaneQSmythe]

Sorry I wasn't clear. I got permission from Geyser to give their number to DAG. So at least DAG has their number, just in case.

This is my want, not DAG's nor obviously Geyser's. DAG knows the reasons why, as he and I discussed this in relation to DAGs loves, and came to an agreement to share contact info with them.

While I know I can only do so much, my plan is to state my case again to Geyser, and hope for the best.

Yes, it is weird to me that contact info wouldn't be shared, in case something happens to me when I am out with someone.

Just hypothetically, if you were out with someone who wasn't a "partner" and "something happened" how would that go down? I have a few ICE (In Case of Emergency) numbers in my phone, datebook, etc. My best friend (one of my ICE numbers) knows how to contact all of my people. I don't mind having contact info, though...it doesn't mean you have to use it.

 

[Ostrich]

Just hypothetically, if you were out with someone who wasn't a "partner" and "something happened" how would that go down? I have a few ICE (In Case of Emergency) numbers in my phone, datebook, etc. My best friend (one of my ICE numbers) knows how to contact all of my people. I don't mind having contact info, though...it doesn't mean you have to use it.

Good question. I don't know. DAG has my parent's and sister's number. I believe they have his. He and I will have to talk about that soon.

 

[Ostrich]

NY, VA and NC

It's envy time!!!

I have two friends (NY and NC) whom (who?) I've known for approximately 15 to 20 years. They have been a couple longer than I have known them.

Within the past six months, they have added a third to their relationship, and now consider themselves a triad, or thruple. In my opinion, they did it the right way. NY and VA were friends a few years before NC got involved. Then VA and NC spent some time together, and bonded. They all three discussed being in a triad, and now they are.

(there was a really good document shared on reddit which discussed unicorn hunting, which I took to heart)

I wanted this for myself and DAG. We did talk about it a few times, but other things in life took priority. Then the things with DAG, Fisticuffs and Bruiser took off, which (in my opinion) killed any chance of a triad for us.

I am now glad it didn't happen. With all that is going on with DAG, FC and Bruiser, I do not know where DAG would find the time for a triad/thruple/whatever. Also, now that Geyser and I have reconnected, the same could be said of me.

But I am envious of NY, NC and VA. They managed to pull off (for now) a triad without unicorn hunting. So I know it can be done. I am very happy for them, and I hope it works out.

Again, I am not sure I want it now. From what I envision for myself, I have all the makings for a happy future right in front of me. I just need to develop those relationships which already exist.

 

[Ostrich]

Hyundai

Not sure where this is going to stop. I eventually wanted to drag Hyundai into this narrative, but the opportunity never really presented itself.

Until now.

DAG texted me earlier today, and let me know Hyundai wants to spend the night tonight with us.

Background: DAG and Hyundai met online, and hit it off fine. Within two or three months, they had sex. DAG kept me in the loop on this one too. I've never considered Hyun a threat. DAG considers them to be a friend with benefits and nothing more. They are nice enough to me, but Hyun can be very possessive towards DAG. However, they do respect our marriage (in the sense they are not trying to break us up), and have not really pursued anything beyond FWB with DAG. For the last year and a half, they haven't interacted in real time that much (maybe a short, non-sexual visit once a month). They do text each other quite a bit though.

So back to tonight. I asked DAG what Hyun wanted. Was it to spend the night under our roof alone, or sex with both of us, or with DAG only? In the past, DAG has informed Hyun we both are interested in a threesome with them. For now, we do not know what Hyun wants. I've asked DAG to keep me posted when he finds out. At this point, I will go with the assumption some type of sex will be involved. Which is worse, me assuming sex won't happen between them and it does, or assume sex will happen between them and it doesn't? I'll go with the former.

I know them having sex together may not be any of my business, but if it is happening under our roof, it kind of is, in my opinion.

I also asked DAG if there is sex between the two of them, please use another bedroom. I am sleeping in my sanctuary tonight. No extramarital sex will be happening in our bedroom, unless I am involved. I would do the same for DAG.

Dear Dog/God/Zod/FSM is a notorious flirt.

 

[Ostrich]

This Past Weekend...

Was awesome!

DAG and I use very different languages and skills when it comes to communication. His language very precise (he likes details), and my language is more broad (I like the bigger picture). We do get frustrated with each other in our communications, but I have found that we are more frustrated with ourselves in not getting our point across to the other.

This weekend was no different. However, we got through it very well. We made curtains, and installed them. We also reinstalled a wall of pictures in the family room (some had fallen off the wall). No major heated exchanges. What helped was we took a break from each other by doing separate chores. I did yard work, while he did projects indoors.

It was a very productive weekend, and I feel much better emotionally today. I'm physically tired as fuck though, but that's why coffee was invented.

Here was the icing on the cake for me: When we went to bed last night, I told him how much I appreciated him being with me the entire weekend. I told him how much I enjoyed his company and that I love him.

He could have taken off to see FistiCuffs and Bruiser, but he didn't. Granted, there were projects which needed to be done before company comes in a few weeks, but again, he could have taken a break and hung out with either (or both) of them.

I realize he has a choice with whom he spends his time. Deciding to spend it with me makes me feel good. This past weekend means a lot to me, as a lot of our weekends are marred by misunderstandings and arguing. I know to others, this doesn't sound like an ideal situation. It's not to me either, but I take pleasure in the times we spend together as compatible companions, not argumentative assholes. To be fair, the heated discussions are happening less and less as we get more familiar with each other. Storming and norming, maybe?

Anyway, a feel-good post!

 

[Ostrich]

In A Few Weeks...

We will have guests at our house for an event in the city close to us. DAG and I will not participate, but we will bend over backwards to make our guests feel comfortable.

I look forward to seeing the out-of-towners, as I have not seen them in several months. Good people who are good company.

DAG and I will be cooking dinner after the event, because our friends will be tired, thirsty and hungry. I do not feel comfortable with them scrounging for food on their own. I plan for a veritable feast!

Anyway, DAG has invited FistiCuffs and Bruiser to this dinner.

I am fine with it.

While I loathe using others as a crutch to get through certain situations, I plan to use the other guests as such. This is the part that rankles me. I shouldn't have to do that. But I guess that's what friends are for? I do not intend to tell them what I am up to regarding this. I want it to happen naturally. Broadway and GA are great people, and can hold a conversation well enough. We have some things in common and I'll be able to make deeper connections with them in the process.

I thought about inviting Geyser, in the hopes of really evening things out, but their sister's immune system is compromised, so I'm not about to put them in a tough situation. I informed Geyser of this, and they are greatly appreciative. It feels great to not feel selfish in that way. A past version of me would have been pissed about it. While I wish they could be there, I am comforted by the fact that I can see them anytime after the dinner.

As to Bruiser and FC. Bruiser (and to some extent FC) does not like small talk. They like to be engaged in conversations which lead to getting to know a person better. Politics, the state of the world, music and food are their topics of choice. I know this from personal experience.

They will get none of that from me. They'll need to get used to talking about the weather, the dogs choice of treats, lawn care, and my adventures with DAG on decorating the house.

I did tell them back in January they would be welcome in our house, but not anything about how I would interact with them. Fuck them. (damn, I'm an asshole).

I feel good about this approach. DAG has every right to invite Bruiser and FC and for the sake of his happiness, I hope they show up (is that compersion?). But that's all I hope for them.

 

[Ostrich]

He's Really Doing It

Back to the first post of this thread about DAG and the DADT policy.

DAG is still holding to his policy. I am kinda surprised by that. Usually he'll try and find a way to bring me into whatever he has planned and wants to discuss. Lucy Ricardo, eat your heart out.

Last night, I was helping him set up his profile on the gaming console. He sent a friend request to Bruiser. No problem. I asked about FistiCuffs. He was about to say something, then clammed up.

OOOOOKAY.

I definitely didn't ask why he stopped himself. If he doesn't want to tell me, then I respect that. I'm not pushing it.

I also don't know who he is talking to about his relationships with B and FC. I am assuming it's his other friends.

Again, I am amazed he's kept his end of the bargain for this long. Usually, he's busting at the seams to tell me things.

He is doing something which is unnatural for him. He wants to be open and honest with me about his life. I want him to be, but due to my past behavior, he doesn't trust me to be cool, calm and collected. Again, I don't blame him. Maybe at some point, he'll trust me to be those things. That would be great, because I truly want to listen. The tough part for me is deciding when I've heard enough.

Others on this board have stated I should not give an ear to his relationship issues with his romantic partners. I understand. There are times when I don't care to know what's going between those three. The lack of knowledge helps me too (hence my screen name). I can concentrate on other things in my life without having that as a distraction. Like how to be calm and cool in the face of adversity and weirdness.

At some point (maybe sometime next year?), I will approach him about loosening his rule about DADT. I truly want to be there for him, and listen to what he has to say about his other relationships.

 

[Magdlyn]

For the record, in this community and the larger poly one in general, DADT is not really the same as how you're using it.

If a guy asked me to do DADT (as happened once), he would have maintained complete discretion with his wife. He would meet me at times when he might be out anyway, so she wouldn't even know he was seeing me, or anyone. He wanted to meet on his lunch hours. She wouldn't know if he was seeing anyone at all. She would be completely unaware whether or not he had a lover.

There would be zero chance of her ever meeting one of his lovers. And he'd have to date far from home so there'd be no chance she or a friend would happen to see him out in public with a lover

It's like she's saying,"You can do that, but I don't want to know a thing about it. Not her name, nothing." A complete ostrich situation. She can go on and pretend they have a mono relationship, pretty much.

(I turned down his offer, btw.)

What DAG is doing is just being discreet and respectful to you and his partners. You may want to counsel him, and he may want to confide in you more, but when you've tried that, it didn't work out well. So, being discreet is healthier, less stressful, and not a full "ostrich" like in the above scenario.

 

[Ostrich]

For the record, in this community and the larger poly one in general, DADT is not really the same as how you're using it.

If a guy asked me to do DADT (as happened once), he would have maintained complete discretion with his wife. He would meet me at times when he might be out anyway, so she wouldn't even know he was seeing me, or anyone. He wanted to meet on his lunch hours. She wouldn't know if he was seeing anyone at all. She would be completely unaware whether or not he had a lover.

There would be zero chance of her ever meeting one of his lovers. And he'd have to date far from home so there'd be no chance she or a friend would happen to see him out in public with a lover

It's like she's saying,"You can do that, but I don't want to know a thing about it. Not her name, nothing." A complete ostrich situation. She can go on and pretend they have a mono relationship, pretty much.

(I turned down his offer, btw.)

What DAG is doing is just being discreet and respectful to you and his partners. You may want to counsel him, and he may want to confide in you more, but when you've tried that, it didn't work out well. So, being discreet is healthier, less stressful, and not a full "ostrich" like in the above scenario.

Magdlyn, thank you for the clarification. It's interesting how there are fine differences in relationships within the poly community. I need to get used to that. The more I am exposed to different ideas, the more I see how wide ranging the poly community is. I wish DAG and I had several in-depth conversations about this type of life and love. Now I have a better understanding about why I reacted the way I did. I couldn't put a name on it, but nevertheless, had the feelings appear.

 

[Ostrich]

Geyser Update

Nothing new on that front.

We still chat, but haven't seen each other in person since the day they came over for a visit. I am not sure when the next visit will occur. I've asked them to meet me at the supermarket, but we haven't decided on a day or time.

While I know COVID has a lot to do with our visitation schedule, this is moving slower than I like. I enjoy being around them. They make me feel relaxed, and be more myself. Sometimes with DAG, I have to be guarded. Which sucks, because he deserves to know who I can be at times. In stead, I come off as an asshole to him. Most of the time, I don't mean to be an asshole, but he takes it that way. But in the same way as the feeling of guilt, that's his issue, not mine (I'm not making you feel guilty, you're letting yourself feel guilty).

Anyway, back to Geyser. When we text, we flirt with each other some, but it doesn't come across flirting (texting loses a lot in translation). I don't have too many phone calls with them, as DAG is usually in the room, and I want to spend quality time with him without distractions.

Also with Geyser, our relationship hasn't moved on from our re-connection and friendship. Geyser has said they are tiptoeing around my relationship with DAG, as they do not want to upset the apple cart. I informed them that my relationship with DAG has changed dramatically since he started exploring polyamory and that our relationship has really opened up to others joining in. I said they have no reason to tiptoe.

I think I need to open up to Geyser more and reassure them it's OK to pursue a more intimate relationship. I really like them, and the sparks fly whenever we are in the same room. The tension in the room gets kind of thick.

Also, I am proud of myself for not letting NRE get out of hand. I keep it under wraps when I talk to DAG about Geyser. While I am excited about reconnecting with Geyser, I also realize they could disappear again without warning, so I think that's what keeps NRE in check. It also helps that we are social distancing. If I were physically around Geyser more, NRE would be harder to control.

More to come.

 

[Ostrich]

It's Around The Corner

We will have guests at our house for an event in the city close to us. DAG and I will not participate, but we will bend over backwards to make our guests feel comfortable.

I look forward to seeing the out-of-towners, as I have not seen them in several months. Good people who are good company.

DAG and I will be cooking dinner after the event, because our friends will be tired, thirsty and hungry. I do not feel comfortable with them scrounging for food on their own. I plan for a veritable feast!

Anyway, DAG has invited FistiCuffs and Bruiser to this dinner.

I am fine with it.

While I loathe using others as a crutch to get through certain situations, I plan to use the other guests as such. This is the part that rankles me. I shouldn't have to do that. But I guess that's what friends are for? I do not intend to tell them what I am up to regarding this. I want it to happen naturally. Broadway and GA are great people, and can hold a conversation well enough. We have some things in common and I'll be able to make deeper connections with them in the process.

I thought about inviting Geyser, in the hopes of really evening things out, but their sister's immune system is compromised, so I'm not about to put them in a tough situation. I informed Geyser of this, and they are greatly appreciative. It feels great to not feel selfish in that way. A past version of me would have been pissed about it. While I wish they could be there, I am comforted by the fact that I can see them anytime after the dinner.

As to Bruiser and FC. Bruiser (and to some extent FC) does not like small talk. They like to be engaged in conversations which lead to getting to know a person better. Politics, the state of the world, music and food are their topics of choice. I know this from personal experience.

They will get none of that from me. They'll need to get used to talking about the weather, the dogs choice of treats, lawn care, and my adventures with DAG on decorating the house.

I did tell them back in January they would be welcome in our house, but not anything about how I would interact with them. Fuck them. (damn, I'm an asshole).

I feel good about this approach. DAG has every right to invite Bruiser and FC and for the sake of his happiness, I hope they show up (is that compersion?). But that's all I hope for them.

An update. DAG and I are readying the house for the guests. Broadway and GA are still coming for the event. Another person, Onyx, will be arriving as well, along with their dog. I am nervous about any hint of COVID infection, but have confirmed all guests have quarantined and safely socially distanced from others. Still, I can't wait to see these people.

Bruiser and FistiCuffs have declined the post-even dinner feast invitation. So potential drama has been avoided. Again, they were more than welcome to attend, just don't expect much in the way of conversation from me.

I am more nervous about the dinner. DAG wants to cook with me in the kitchen. Aww hell no. DAG loves to supervise. Back seat driving is bad enough, but back seat driving in the kitchen, with sharp objects in easy reach, is even worse. Just kidding, I wouldn't stab him. I am still learning to not let emotions get the best of me (guilt was my first lesson). Nobody makes me feel a certain way, I let myself feel a certain way.

Anyway, unless Onyx's dog causes trouble, I am not expecting any major drama to surface, unless it's surprise drama which causes the destruction of luggage (not by me).

I know this is boring, but it is significant to me. This is the first time DAG and I will have a full house of guests, with the potential for sexual hijinx by (and with) most of our guests. While I know things won't be perfect, I want everyone to have a good time, and enjoy themselves, and each other.

It will be a nice break from feeling isolated. I think that will be a topic of another post.

 

[Ostrich]

So this past weekend went really well. Broadway came with a friend, GA showed up solo, Onyx drove in with their dog and even Hyundai showed up. I cooked up a nice dinner, and with alcohol, everyone had a fun evening, until Broadway's friend decided to start in on Hyundai. Fun times!! Hyundai had too much to drink and smoke, so DAG escorted him upstairs to talk him off the ledge (not literally) and to get him to sleep it off. I knew what DAG was doing, but needed confirmation that all was well. I texted him the question about how things were going, but did not hear back. I went upstairs and tried the door, but it was locked. I get it, it's their privacy, and I don't necessarily have the right to know whats going on, but it's under our roof, so DAG should have at least acknowledged my text. After it was over with, I approached DAG and asked that next time this happens, please let me know what's going on. I was calm and cool with my approach. He agreed to my request, so all worked out well. Side note: Hyundai sobered up well enough to get home under their own power, so all good with them.

The rest of the weekend was uneventful. We hung around the house and watched P Valley for the umpteenth time.

However, Sunday night, me, DAG and Onyx hit the sheets. The sex was great, and gave me some restorative powers. I felt more whole, more involved and aligned with DAG than in the very few times we've had sex recently. We did not discuss the possibility of sex, until after their first couple of days here. It was unplanned and relatively spontaneous. I loved it.

Speaking of Onyx, he, DAG and I had a few conversations while they were here about their travels to our house. Onyx said they are interested in future visits, probably more frequently than they originally planned. I am more than happy to open the door for them. I get along with them great. Easy conversation between the three of us, as well as one-on-one. Some really good chemistry and vibes all around. They're smart, sharp and good looking. I am not holding my breath, as things can go south when you least expect it, but at least they are a breath of fresh air, with a possibility of more.

We'll see.