redpepper
Active member
Hi, booklady. You seem to be where our triad was at about 8 months ago, about the time we started writing on here, if you want to look back that far.
I totally get what you are talking about. I too would have no problem with my husband finding another. In fact, he has a boyfriend that has come on the scene since I got together with Mono.
If Mono found another I would be out. I get that he is not interested in another, and I get that he couldn't be polyamorous, so I have thought long and hard about what that means. I would be VERY concerned if he took an interest in another woman.
I love that he is monogamous. There is something so settling and calming for me in that. I can sit back and be loved by him entirely, without any thought that I will have to do any work around other partners. I have that work with my husband, and that is enough for me.
On the other hand, though, I could not be with just Mono. It would bring up all the issues I had when I was in monogamous relationships. It would lead to my leaving eventually, as my needs would not be met. My husband and I have a bond through polyamory, as much as I have a bond with Mono through monogamy. I feel I have the best of both worlds. They are a package deal to me.
I totally get what you are talking about. I too would have no problem with my husband finding another. In fact, he has a boyfriend that has come on the scene since I got together with Mono.
If Mono found another I would be out. I get that he is not interested in another, and I get that he couldn't be polyamorous, so I have thought long and hard about what that means. I would be VERY concerned if he took an interest in another woman.
I love that he is monogamous. There is something so settling and calming for me in that. I can sit back and be loved by him entirely, without any thought that I will have to do any work around other partners. I have that work with my husband, and that is enough for me.
On the other hand, though, I could not be with just Mono. It would bring up all the issues I had when I was in monogamous relationships. It would lead to my leaving eventually, as my needs would not be met. My husband and I have a bond through polyamory, as much as I have a bond with Mono through monogamy. I feel I have the best of both worlds. They are a package deal to me.