redpepper
Active member
Hi booklady, you seem to be where our triad was at about 8 months ago... about the time we started writing on here. If you want to look back that far.
I totally get what you are talking about. I too would have no problem with my husband finding another. In fact he has a boyfriend that has come on our scene since i got together with Mono.
If Mono found another I would be out. I get that he is not interested in another and I get that he couldn't be poly, so I have thought long and hard about what that means. I would be VERY concerned if he took interest in another woman.
I love that he is mono. There is something so settling and calming for me in that. I can sit back and be loved by him entirely, without any thought that I will have to do any work around other partners. I have that work with my husband and that is enough for me.
On the other hand though, I could not be with just mono. It would bring up all the issues I had when I was in other mono relationships and would lead to my leaving eventually as my needs would not be met. My husband and I have a bond through poly as much as I have a bond with Mono through monogamy. I am finding that hard to explain, but really I feel I have the best of both worlds... they are a package deal to me.
I totally get what you are talking about. I too would have no problem with my husband finding another. In fact he has a boyfriend that has come on our scene since i got together with Mono.
If Mono found another I would be out. I get that he is not interested in another and I get that he couldn't be poly, so I have thought long and hard about what that means. I would be VERY concerned if he took interest in another woman.
I love that he is mono. There is something so settling and calming for me in that. I can sit back and be loved by him entirely, without any thought that I will have to do any work around other partners. I have that work with my husband and that is enough for me.
On the other hand though, I could not be with just mono. It would bring up all the issues I had when I was in other mono relationships and would lead to my leaving eventually as my needs would not be met. My husband and I have a bond through poly as much as I have a bond with Mono through monogamy. I am finding that hard to explain, but really I feel I have the best of both worlds... they are a package deal to me.