Just LR

dingedheart

Active member
Wow it’s nice to see your update and also sad to see the continued drama you’ve had to endure.

My question is do you still identify as poly and are you still actively involved in multiple romantic relationships ??

Did any of your children decide to go down the poly road as well ??


Did you see your old thread that you wrote back in 2009 Is still active. :)
 
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LovingRadiance

Active member
Wow it’s nice to see your update and also sad to see the continued drama you’ve had to endure.

My question is do you still identify as poly and are you still actively involved in multiple romantic relationships ??

Did any of your children decide to go down the poly road as well ??


Did you see your old thread that you wrote back in 2009 Is still active. :)

I do identify as poly. I believe it to be an inherent part of my nature. But like galagirl wrote sometime back-it is not currently feasible to balance more than one lover. Myriad reasons.
Gg is still very much a part of my life. He is renting my house. We split the time with our daughter. Maca wrote her off and cut all contact with her in July.

Several children have taken the poly road and sweetpea is stable on it.
I haven’t done much catching up so Im unsure which thread you are referencing.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
I'm not going to elaborate on the other thread. The purpose of it was to allow others who requested a thread "back in the day" to have a place to discuss the topic.

My divorce from Maca finalized in March. He played the asshole right to the end. Then in August, he found out the girlfriend was sleeping around, a day or two prior to his birthday. Within a short period of time he also found out he has some serious medical issues (damage to the carotid artery). There isn't a current plan for resolving it, because the local specialist surgeon says they aren't qualified to do the surgery.
Now all of a sudden he is being nice. Go figure.

I'm not inclined to jump into the rat race of his bs.
But-as a parent, I did let Sour Pea know what is going on with his health, what it means etc & left her the option of deciding how she would like to handle it.
Her response was that she loves him (of course) and on the one hand she would like to give him a hug and say she loves him, "in case he dies". But, she also said that she doesn't trust him to let it be JUST that. So she has chosen to remain-no contact.

I worry about her regretting her choice.
But-I also recognize in her a much clearer understanding of her inherent right to lay personal boundaries. She understands that a personal boundary is her right to lay down AND that a personal boundary is about limiting herself, not limiting other people. She is choosing the action she has a right to control without asking anyone else to change their behavior.
She impresses me.

She is 13. Her oldest sibling just turned 29. The oldest sibling has no end of pressure and guilt trips to through trying to manipulate the rest of us into forcing Sour Pea to reach out to Maca and make amends (for his choices and his actions and his abandonment of her). I have backed up Sour Pea without question. But really, the part that amazes me, is that Sour Pea doesn't need my back up (I am sure someday it will matter). She knows her rights and she is steadfast in them.
She isn't confused about loving Maca. But she also understands that loving someone doesn't mean that you are required to allow them to abuse or take advantage of you. She gets that she can love him while also maintaining strict boundaries. It's outstanding to watch.

She told me this week, she is still angry that he (and the now ex girlfriend) attempted to force her into believing lies (I don't know the details of the lies, I wasn't privvy to any of it-but she has been clear that it occurred since day one). She says it makes her want to ask if they think she is stupid or if they are stupid. She also said that as much as she loves him, she is happier now and she doesn't want to "go back" to the way it was before by inviting him back into her life.
Wow.
Out of the mouths of babes.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
I know a few people will want to know, I finished my Masters Degree in Industrial Organizational Psychology in August! It isn't real yet. Still waiting for the actual paper to come in the mail.
I remember in 2011 when I returned to school for one class over the summer. I was so terrified. I really didn't think I could make it. Here I am considering the details of the application for the PhD program. :)
Extremely exciting.

I am in a relationship. He has been a friend as long as I knew Maca. He is finishing his Masters now. He is great with the kids and with me. GG is living in the house, I did win it in court. Salty Pea and Sweet Pea live there full time (they all pay rent to me) and Sour Pea is there 1/2 time. We will all be doing the holidays there at the house and are looking forward to it.
We spent most of the summer camping and fishing together, my partner, GG, my sister, Salty Pea, Split Pea (and his girlfriend), Sweet Pea and Sour Pea.
For all the horrors of covid-this has been an amazing summer for us as a family.
 

MeeraReed

Member
I am glad to hear your update!
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
I am glad that Sour Pea is standing up for her rights. And congratulations on finishing your Masters Degree. Sounds like things have been going relatively well!
 

dingedheart

Active member
My comment was to point out that you had 2 thread that were or are still active at the time I posted that. I wasn’t expecting you to comment on the threads.

thanks for the update to the update:)
 

Magdlyn

Active member
Congrats, LR, on the degree, the divorce, and the new partner. Now they need a nickname too!
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Congrats, LR, on the degree, the divorce, and the new partner. Now they need a nickname too!
LOL. I need to go back and read, because I think I may have referenced him at some point in the past and I need to figure out what name I used if I did.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Ok that is too hilarious. I reviewed this blog and my wordpress blog. I found in August 2011 a reference to my current boyfriend as "Mr. LR". That works.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Over the years GG often got left in the shadows of discussions. We took some space at the end of 2014. It was a chaotic time in life.
But over the years he has remained a constant support to the kids and we started rebuilding our friendship when Maca and I quit living together and filed divorce paperwork in 2019. He gets along very well with Mr. LR. He and I coparent very well.
He is renting the downstairs of the house from me. Salty Pea and Sweet Pea are renting the upstairs. Sourpea splits her time between the house and the condo where Mr. LR and I live, about an hour away.
Yesterday GG was able to take a break from work mid day and stopped by the condo. He talked w/ Mr. LR and I for a few minutes and then he and I stood outside in the last of our warmth (winter is close) and talked for an hour.

It has been nice to be able to rebuild our connection without the drama and bullshit from Maca.

We aren't dating. We aren't either of us up to the stress. But we are happy to be able to be close and not to have to deal with a possessive jealous partner who is tormenting us for even talking.

Over summer we all (GG, my sister, the boys, Sour Pea, Mr. LR and I) went camping several times for 4-6 days at a time. It was awesome. Laughter, love, friendship, fun. We all spend holidays together. All of last year we did holidays at the condo because the house was up in argument in court. But we are planning the holidays this year at the house and looking forward to it.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Sounds like you are able to put some more of the Maca drama behind you. That's good! One less thing.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Sounds like you are able to put some more of the Maca drama behind you. That's good! One less thing.
Yes. His drama has increased if that sounds possible. But ours has definitely decreased with each month he is not a part of our lives. He is currently living with the childhood boyfriend of our oldest child and that man's family because he has a restraining order against his (ex)girlfriend who is living in the place they rented-and he is still obligated to pay for. He was evidently arrested recently for breaking the restraining order he has against her. I hear this stuff and just shake my head.
Its astonishing how much of the debt I have paid off with him out of the picture, how much less stress, less drama, less overall angst with him gone. It's reached a point where no one who see's it can deny it, he was the driving force between much of the strain and cacophony in our lives. He continues to be just as out of control in his life and it's literally killing him. But once I quit trying to save "us" and him, and focused on my own life-that has stopped being an issue in my life.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Jeezh ... arrested for violating his own restraining order. Paying the rent for a place where he no longer lives. You would think he could clean some of that junk out of his life, but I guess he used to rely on you to do that for him.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
Jeezh ... arrested for violating his own restraining order. Paying the rent for a place where he no longer lives. You would think he could clean some of that junk out of his life, but I guess he used to rely on you to do that for him.
Talk about hitting the nail on the head. That comment struck home. He relied on me to clean up all of his disasters. Now, he's stuck in his own maelstrom.
 
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