You did say he's been talking to the 24yr old troublemaker again... If I remember he got pissy and unreasonable like this last time she was in the picture. Could also be his depression talking, but until he's ready to get his ass to a therapist, there's nothing you can do.
((Hugs!))
Yes he is.
Yes that is exactly what happened before.
And no I can't do a thing with any of it.
He has a right to decide what he will/won't deal with in himself.
He has a right to decide what he wants/doesn't want in a relationship.
He's blaming it on me, telling me he will never be ok with someone wanting to fuck other people because they are lonely (even though I didn't even ASK to fuck someone else).
But the thing is-all of that is just passive-aggressive ways of saying that he's not ok with me being non-monogamous. He's not ok with sharing his lovers.
It would certainly be simpler to just say "yes I love you-no I don't want a non-mono relationship and never will so lets find an equitable way to end things".
But yeah-that isn't going to happen.
Still the same end result-just has to be a bigger mess and a lot more bullshit and drama. Instead of just looking into oneself, figuring out what it is you need/want in a relationship, stating and it and then finding someone who meets those criteria-and gently ending things with those who don't.
I tried to be upfront and honest. In 2009 I told him I wasn't going to be nonmono again, that if he wanted a divorce I would understand. That I hoped we could have a nonmono relationship and be happy together; but I understood that wasn't what we had originally agreed to and if he wasn't agreeable I wouldn't hold it against him or cause issues with property/kids/custody/$$ etc.
NOW I've got an additional 5 years out of the workforce fucking me over financially and in an even shittier position to find myself trying to pick up the pieces and start over.
But it is what it is. Right?
Accept reality first.
Sigh.