Married and Poly?

Are you currently married and practicing poly?

  • Yes

    Votes: 134 81.7%

  • No

    Votes: 30 18.3%
  • Total voters
    164
Ginko and I have been together almost 5 years now, marrying with the intention of seeing if polyamory was something that would work for us, as it's a work in progress that we've discussed since our first date. Ginko has been seeing someone for about a year and a half now, and I'm seeing two people, one for about a year and the other for 2 months now.
 
My wife and I have been together almost 15 years and married over 10 of those years. We have been poly for about 6 years now, maybe longer, just not realizing there was a term for what we are.
She has had 2 long term relationships with others, one lasted over 2 years the other almost 3 years. I would consider myself mono with her, but very open to her having other relationships. The two previous relationships went well til they ended, as we all were very comfortable with each other and spent a lot of time together as friends also...
Currently poly-single, but looking...
 
Ha, I was still married when this poll began. I divorced (after a marriage of 30+ years) in August of 2011. I've been with Pixi since Jan 2009, and with Ginger since Jan 2012.

Ginger is married, long term, and is going to stay that way.

I have no desire to ever be married again.
 
Definitely am!

I am married and have a boyfriend. To be honest, it's only been recently that I've become truly polyamorous. My husband and I got married almost two years ago, knowing we wanted to life a life of polyamory, but neither of us found anyone special enough to start "dating" and be upfront that we were married, until I met my boyfriend about a month ago. So we are kind of new to the relationship game.
 
I am married.

I do not practice poly, because I have not found anyone to practice it with.

Maybe one day. Or I'll get another hobby.
 
My husband and I have been together for about 10 years, married for 7, and have been non-monogamous in one way or another for most of that time. We were involved with another couple for several years, and had other (separate) partners as well. Currently, I am in another relationship that has been going on for about 1.5 years, and my husband is in one that began about a year ago.
 
*Raises Hand*

Matt and I have been married since 2002. I have been in a relationship with Kensi since June 2000. My relationship with Matt started a month before I met her. That is almost 13 years of poly practice. The dynamic has evolved from hybrid open to a closed triad because Matt is now dating Kensi. After 12 years, I was still hoping for it, but never knew if it would happen. Now it finally has.

It has always just been the three of us, no additional parties.
 
I'm absolutely not into the concept of marriage for a multitude of reasons, so no.
 
InsaneMystic said:
I'm absolutely not into the concept of marriage for a multitude of reasons, so no.
Click to expand...

I'm curious about the "multitide of reasons"...

I'm always interested in talking about people's conception of marriage and pro/anti feelings. I think it is because MrS and I started out with such different views, so we ended up talking about it a lot back in the day. (I wrote about the initial conversation in my "Journey" blog here.)

There's and interesting thread around here debating whether poly and marriage are incompatible. (I think this is the one I was thinking of).

JaneQ
 
@JaneQSmythe - Thx for the links, I'm gonna read up on and reply in the second linked thread, as to not derail this one from being more poll-ish in nature. :)
 
My wife and I have been together for 10 years, married for 9. We have recently explored poly. We have a girlfriend, and I would like to find another. So far it has had its ups and downs. There are always problems at some point, someone not getting enough attention, or someone too busy to pay attention to anyone. New people coming into the dynamic can also cause stress. But overall, we enjoy it, and it has made our relationship stronger. The amount if trust and understanding is overwhelming.
 
RitaFire said:
I am curious as to how many of you are married and practicing poly.
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Sort of as today I took my self off the poly listing.. I have to many emotional issues but still relate in the since of poly..

My long term goal is to have a triad with my boie, he is also open to the idea..

but that's only when I am emotionally sound we both agree on that.
 
Wife and I want a boyfriend

My wife and I have been married for almost 23 years. We had a lover who we thought we were going to be in a polyamorous relationship with but they ended up married. Now we are trying hard to find "Mr. Right." It has brought us so much closer together and made our love indescribable. However, we can't seem to find that special guy. :(
 
My husband and I are only husband and wife in a pseudo kinda way. Not actually married but might as well be. 6 years have passed and no end in sight. I think we opened up to the possibility of poly because as a bi woman who NEVER though she'd be monogamous, I have been and I guess I'm getting a reward.

Yes, I'm a big fan of the reward/punishment dynamic. ;)

So, I didn't vote because we're not actually married.
 
"Married" means priorities have been set.

We have been married for just about three years. Together for six and a bit. We met when we were both with mono partners, and had negotiated being open. We were lovers for several months, and then realized that we wanted to build a future together as primaries. Needless to say it was a massive transition for both of us.

We were monogamous for the first four years of our relationship. We've been open for over two years in various forms-- a few triads both casual and more serious, a quad, and some dyads.

I don't think that either of us would consider ever permanently closing our relationship. I don't even know if we were under that impression of being closed prior to opening. It was just what felt right at the time. We've folded back into monogamy a couple of times, and find that satisfying as well. It's largely about having the freedom to explore if and when we want to, more than anything. Non-possessive, but we have set each other as 'priorities' through marriage. Neither of us have ever really desired strictly monogamous relationships in our pasts.
 
Re (from RitaFire, Post #6):
"How many of you married and poly people got married with the original intention of remaining monogamous?"
Click to expand...

When I got married (in 1987), I (and my wife) had every intention of remaining monogamous.

"And how have you dealt with poly?"
Click to expand...

As well as one can when one's spouse gets Alzheimer's and goes downhill from there. :(
 
RitaFire said:
How many of you married and poly people got married with the original intention of remaining monogamous?
Click to expand...

Hmmm...we've never actually been monogamous. The "flavor" of our "ethical non-monogamy" has changed over the years - not because we got married but because we continue to change and grow as people.
 
chrisdon1990 said:
My wife and I have been married for almost 23 years. We had a lover who we thought we were going to be in a Polyamorous relationship with but they ended up married. Now we are trying hard to find "Mr. Right." It has brought us so much closer together and made our love indescribable. However, we can't seem to find that special guy.
Click to expand...

Married ten years. Wife has almost always dated other guys for sex only. She fell in love. Told me about it and said it needed it to happen again. And I helped her find a guy. They have been together for three years. No problems at all. We love it this way. Keeps getting better.
 
Married, yes, practicing(tm) poly, yes, if not actively poly at present

Happily married here, and honestly, I am not even really looking.

I won't say I couldn't love somebody else, but have no desire to seek out more.

However, when I met my wife, she told me she knew there was a female soul mate out there, even before we realized there was anything more to us than me being a friend to her brother.

While I still think fears of losing me, and 'it's wrong' cause her to hold back, she also, sometimes directly, sometimes more subtly, does make it clear she craves female companionship.

So I would still say 'practicing' poly right now, even if it's just encouraging wife it would be ok, it is normal, and helping her figure out what she really wants, and have the courage to try.
 
Married 11 years. We never really explored the idea, outside of the fantasy of a "threesome" until I fell in love with my best friend. We are now both dating her and are loving it. They both complete a big part of me. I can't imagine not being with both of them.
 
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