New Year Annoyances & General BUSY-NESS
Health & Dental
So far I have had the never ending root canal completed. Or at least the post is set. Next visit the permanent crown will be set. I now plead with all who is holy that this is the last thing I need & we can move onto getting the new partial denture started next month.
Nosebleeds continue to be an issue & annoyance. The medicated ointment for my nose worked for a while then created a new problem. Since I need to take a Q-tip to place the ointment in my nose, it was also creating nosebleeds. I called my Dr & he told me to quit using it. So we are back to square one.
I made my only NYE resolution, to get into therapy. So I joined a site called Cerebral to have all my meetings via telehealth. So far, with just talking with my medication prescriber she concluded that I have all the classic PTSD symptoms due to abuse in my past relationships, as well as ADD symptoms. My therapy counselor agreed. Because of this I am scheduled to talk with a new med prescriber, a psychiatric Nurse Practitioner instead.
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Business/ Vendor Happiness & stresses
I have not heard anything from the multi-vendor space yet. So that is still in the works. But JR & I are considering a combo commercial/1br rental space in East Meadow. We still don't have all the terms for it. But it seems promising since I am desperate for a manufacturing space. And he needs his own place. If I am working next door, we could see just where this could go.
I joined an indoor winter market in Huntington & my first day was last Sunday. I did well, but then I bought some OUTRAGOUS keto granola that I am now hooked on. Since we had a Nor'easter blow through this weekend the market was canceled for today. So I have time to get some 'girly' scents created for Valentine's sales.
I am getting more emails from coordinators for future events. One person I had a event in late December that I couldn't do due to losing my voice to a head cold (yes, it was a cold & took a Covid test to be double sure) has offered me a spot in an up coming event in Uniondale. I have also secured an event in late April. I will be returning to the Seaford Craft Market in the summer as well. Lost of stuff going on & as I said, I seriously need more space.
So this is all great. But incredibly stressful at the same time. My business is exactly that, mine. It's all on me to keep it going. And I have come to realize that I am a professional procrastinator. I will put things off thinking that I have time, then when people eventually get in my way I will get angry.
This is another good reason I get my own space outside the house. I can control everything goin on in it. & keep a track of things. Manufacturing & events were so much easier when my stuff was at JR's. I had everything were I could find it without worrying if others had moved it.
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Relationships & Family
In November Mom had a talk with Elaine. Elaine said that they would be getting a loan through Ex-in Law's pension soon & will be moving out by January. It's now the end of the month and nothing has happened. No packing their stuff, or looking at apartments. JR & I have looked at 3 apartments since the new year.
Elaine & the Ex-in-Law are still fighting or he will ask her something innocuous and she will angry growl to herself how she is so stressed & angry at everything. She raged for a half hour recently that we made canned spinach with dinner as a side dish & didn't leave her any. And we were all cunts because we all knew that this was her favorite side dish. She then proceeded to make another can for herself but didn't eat it all.
It's not surprising how twitchy I am. Now that I know I am not being 'over sensitive' or 'emotional' when Elaine gets angry over nothing. I am being triggered by her outbursts cause they remind me of my ex husband. Which in turn will make me question how things are going with JR. Plus, it doesn't help that recently my Mom has begun to question if JR will ever find an apartment he likes. Or that since he is currently going to a funeral for his Uncle. If he brings Angela, she would be the "true girlfriend" to his family. UGH! I have to deal with my own brain bunny/squirrels. They don't need any encouragement to skitter about making more problems.
I have even had small attacks where I accuse JR of being distant & talking behind my back. There have been instances were he will be angry in the car or with a fast food worker. I will catch myself sliding myself away from him, out of striking distance. HE HAS NEVER DONE ANTHING REMOTELY CLOSE TO STRIKING OUT AT ME. But I still react in the same way.
Even today I was on a call with Dexus. There was a miscommunication & he got angry. I immediately began to apologize to him to smooth things over & diffuse his anger. Even though I knew it wasn't my fault. He just sounds so much like his father I cannot help but to do that.