New and looking for resources

[KindaNewToThis]

Hi all, new poster here (obviously) and while not Poly per se, am looking for more information and resources for myself about being Poly or in an Open relationship as my wife recently opened up to me about wanting to be with other men, which is a long story with a lot of baggage, that while I am 100% for mentally I am not too sure how I am emotionally with it due to my wifes past actions. (Was gonna post the whole situation here, but was damn near essay, even after cutting out tons. So will post it in the forums as a seperste post)

 

[GalaGirl]

Welcome. I responded in more detail on your other thread.

Basically here in your intro you sound like "I have nothing against it. Just not up for doing that with my wife. Because it has led to messes in the past. I'm not up for that again."

I think that's totally fine to feel. You do NOT have to sign up for things you aren't excited about. Your consent to do things or not belongs to YOU.

I don't think you need resources for open/poly.

I think you might need resources for how to say "No, thank you. I won't be doing that" and setting personal boundaries with wife.

If there's unhealed baggage from the past? I encourage you to seek counseling even if wife doesn't want to do. It's ok for you to get individual counseling.

Galagirl

 

[kdt26417]

Greetings KindaNewToThis,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.
Here are some resources for you:

• Poly FAQ
• Loving More FAQ
• Master Thread - links to other threads worth reading
• "Opening Up: a guide to creating and sustaining open relationships," book by Tristan Taormino.
• "The Polyamory Toolkit," book by Dan and Dawn Williams.
• "Polysecure: attachment, trauma and consensual nonmonogamy," book by Jessica Fern.
• Polyamory Websites
• Glossary and Definitions
• Kitchen Table Poly
• What about the Kids?
• Are You in Poly Hell?

Hopefully that helps.
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter"

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