Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

You two are so inspiring to me. Thank you so much for sharing your lives and troubles and discoveries with us. Now if only I could get a certain someone to read this. ;)
 
vandalin said:
You two are so inspiring to me.
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There is a very important third in this. Redpepper's husband. He is an amazing person and a strong man. I respect him with immense depth.

All of us went to pick up their son after work. He asked me if I loved his mom. I pointed at both his parents and said, "I love them both, and I love you too". We all had supper and I read their son a story before he went to bed.

I could not have been accepted by a more loving "chosen" family. :)

Take care.
 
What a great feeling! Let's hope others on this board get to experience some of what you guys have. The world would be a much happier and kinder place. It is indeed inspiring to hear. Congrats! :)
 
There is a very important third in this. Redpepper's husband. He is an amazing person and a strong man. I respect him with immense depth.
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I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave him out. I meant you two as posters on the board, unless Redpepper's hubby posts as well, and I didn't realize it. :)

Again, I would love to have just a small taste of what you and your family share.
 
I almost feel like a fly on the wall reading your posts. It's so intimate. I love reading about the three-person dynamic. I love reading about the relationships between you and the husband, and you and red. I love reading the statements that you sprinkle in your replies about how you are encouraging them to continue to build their love, as well as your own, and that you and husband are friends. I love it. I love reading this sort of thing. The V has always intrigued me.

You guys really really do rock. All 4 of you (husband and son, as well).
 
Thanks, N! Mono talks like that in real life too. I am so loved.

I now have an almost entire journal of his love notes that he leaves for me on the path I go for a walk on every night. They are left in the hole of a tree for me to rummage around and find. I sometimes leave ones too, as well as feathers and flowers and other small nature items. He has been leaving them since New Years, rain or shine. I don't expect that he will forever, but I will always have my book and the love that rests on every page I have glued those notes onto. It will always be very special to me.
 
Nadine said:
I almost feel like a fly on the wall reading your posts. It's so intimate. I love reading about the three-person dynamic. I love reading about the relationships between you and husband and you and red. I love reading your statements that you sprinkle in your replies about how you are encouraging them to continue to build their love, as well as your own, and that you and husband are friends. I love it. I love reading this sort of thing. The V has always intrigued me.
You guys really do rock. All 4 of you (husband and son, as well).
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This.

It makes me feel so good to read of such a relationship. It's plainly obvious that it is overflowing with love and respect for everyone involved. It's amazing.
 
redpepper said:
It will always be very special to me.
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There is nothing that will be as special as the way you have touched my life, Gorgeous. All the notes in the world won't capture what I truly feel. I am simply without words, simply in awe of your love, and blown away by the depth of our connection. I may never completely understand you, but I will always stand by you. ;)
 
You guys will actually get a little peace and quiet from me for a couple of days. :) Redpepper and I are off to a resort for the weekend. WOOHOO!!

Her husband is an incredible man and I am extremely thankful he has made this time available for us.

Redpepper will be coming in to check out a little gift from Ygirl and then it's hitting the road time!

Enjoy your weekend everyone. Peace and love. :)
 
Redpepper and I had a fantastic weekend!

We considered going away to be a celebration in honour of our entering a new phase of our love and life together. Both of us are clear on what we need and comfortable with the shape of our relationship and the future we want. We feel as though our internal struggles are over. Our love won over our fears. We are devoted to us and the chosen family we have.

Our challenges will be from the outside now. Logistics and family relations will be worked on, without hurry, however. There is no time limit and we need to put the welfare of others at the forefront, now that we are at peace and even deeper in love.

Her husband recommended going for two nights, and yet again, he was right. What a gift he has given us.

As a side note, you should hear Redpepper getting a massage! The woman giving me my massage and I were both looking over. WOW, can she ever breathe!! Meeeeoooowww! ;)
 
Just a quick note about our latest challenge!

I come from a very mono, vanilla background, not sexually repressed, just one where sexuality is lower key, more private between couples. Redpepper comes from a background of much greater diversity and openness about sexuality.

My tendency to shut down when she speaks of sexually-natured things we could go see, that she is interested in, was initially interpreted as me judging the people in her life and the sex-positive environment.

We had a date night recently and the first thing we did was spend a good hour discussing this. I had to explain my reasons for getting quiet so that I knew she understood. Basically, the more open approach to sexuality in the sex-positive community generated fear in me-- a fear of losing her. We identified this and I asked her to help me become more knowledgeable and comfortable in her community, as I have chosen a life with her, which puts a distance between me and my own past community.

She is extremely patient in letting me become more comfortable with this new world. Her husband and other Love are also very understanding. I worried about putting a damper on all of their fun doing certain things, but am accepting that this is not the case.

I am pushing myself to be more comfortable in a sex-positive environment, but will not do anything I think will harm my connection with her. This is not about polyamory, multiple loves or about having sex. It is about not only accepting different interests, but also being comfortable around them in a healthy way with her and her Husband.

Once again, communication takes us to another level. The benefits are huge! I am even more in love with her. She is so doomed. :D
 
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Odd how your pain sounds are so close to your pleasure sounds. HEHEE!! Bring on the doom, Baby!!
 
This all makes SO MUCH SENSE. Thank you for sharing the methods you all use, the feelings behind them, and the beautiful sense of wellbeing and love that results from challenging our lesser selves, who have been told so many lies about how we are to relate to one another.

I was raised in a very religious, born-again, and often judgmental community. But it was not without lots of love for me as the person I am. I have repaired my thinking on how to relate to my family to a great extent, without subscribing to their religious theology and "moral" standards.

But I remember as a child in church feeling the sense of fellowship and love felt by many towards one goal as a community of support, study and growth.

I never thought this correlation would be possible, but as I learn about polyamory, hear these lovely stories of higher being, experience the lifting of burdens and negativity that have resulted from my husband and me talking about love in this way, I think it is the closest feeling to spiritual euphoria I have felt since I was a small child.

"Amazing journey" is right. We are all brave to strive for such sophisticated personal evolution. So many never even reach for it.

I was so wrong for most of my life when I thought I'd have to be alone in order to explore this life choice. It seems the polar opposite it true, and ain't that grand? :)
 
Rarechild said:
I was so wrong for most of my life when I thought I'd have to be alone in order to explore this life choice. It seems the polar opposite it true- and ain't that grand. :)
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Amen - from a very non-religious woman.
 
Rarechild said:
I was raised in a very religious, born-again, and often judgmental community. But it was not without lots of love for me as the person I am. I have repaired my thinking on how to relate to my family to a great extent, without subscribing to their religious theology and "moral" standards.
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I was reared in a Nazarene church-- very judgmental. Everybody at church always spoke of love, yet they always limited it so very much. It had to be the right sort of love, with the right sort of people, done in the right sort of way. Seemed to me that they just didn't really understand what they were talking about, as they were so very afraid of it.

When everything was within their little boundaries, though, there was a great deal of warmth and caring. Stray outside the lines and that evaporated quickly.

I think my mother doesn't want to know much about my love life because she can easily practice denial by pretending that I'm married, like everybody else, and nothing more. I don't hide anything from her, but I don't try to keep her updated on what's going on. Should she get bent out of shape, well, I don't have to deal with her on those terms. She can play nice or play by herself.
 
Hi everyone,

I just got back from a BBQ with Redpepper and family at another poly-identified family's house. This is the third get together for me and I thought I would pass the experience on. First of all, this is not an intimate relationship. It is part of a like-minded community being built.

I will be honest in saying there is still some of the "third wheel" thoughts going on for me, even though they are just friends. Like when we went to play bocce ball and we had five adults, I called it a “poly quandary” LOL! There were actually times where I thought, "This will never be normal to me," and, “Why is a mono guy hanging out with all these poly people?"

I never doubt my love for Redpepper or her family, just the social differences of our approaches and backgrounds and, in fact, how we love differently. It's very hard to accept I am actually moving into a whole new social circle sometimes. I also admit I have moments of missing my old monogamous, vanilla-cracker social environment. Black and white is a comfortable place, even though the depth is not there, usually.

Now, moving on. I had a very good time! I played lots with both their kids and we all played backyard games together. Redpepper was surprised to see that I, like her husband, had played a game called "hackey sac" when I was younger.

We had a very good time. I feel my friendship with her husband growing constantly. I love knowing he would be a great friend, regardless.

Even though I wasn't as affectionate as Redpepper would have liked, I think she truly enjoyed seeing her men together and both families enjoying each other's company. Another great evening!
 
Glad you had such a good time, after all, Mono! Sounds like a blast.

Just wondering, how old are you and Redpepper's husband? Hackey sac was VERY popular when I was a teen. I was quite good at it back then, too.
 
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