Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

Tonight Redpepper had her entire immediate family over for supper and invited me to join them. This gave me a good opportunity to get to know her brother better, as we chatted and hung handmade pasta together. LOL! A first for everything.

The entire night felt very comfortable. I can sense that I am becoming comfortably present in their lives. Tonight didn't have a lot of the "encroaching" feeling I have had in the past. I am simply becoming comfortable with all of them. I am sure this will give me confidence when, in the future, they learn of my involvement in Redpepper's life.

Redpepper, her husband and I really do work well together in this type of setting. I'm sure it is a little odd for her parents and brother to see me as a guest who just happens to do dishes and knows where everything goes in her kitchen!!

I am giving everything I have to my love for Redpepper and trying to make sure her family is thriving with me in it.

The future looks amazing. :D
 
Earlier in the day, my family went to celebrate my mum's birthday at a restaurant. My husband and I talk about Mono a lot, and my dad finally asked why he is around so much. My husband took the reins on that one, as I knew it would sound better coming from him. He talked about how Mono is a good fit to our family and how we all seem to get along well.

When my Dad asked why we never talk about other friends the same way, he said that we have lots of other friends he knows nothing about, but we choose to spend our time mostly with Mono. He told him that Mono comes to our house when we are not there and helps us out sometimes by mowing the lawn and doing our dishes, that he uses our massage bed on his lunch hour, as he works just down the street, and that he and I go for walks after work and have coffee, as our work days end at the same time.

Because this all came from my husband, and was obviously okay with him, my dad didn't flinch. Everyone was listening in and it became normalized quickly.

At our supper time production, Mono fit in like he had always been there. Everyone thinks he is great and no one acted as if he didn't belong. One step closer to a successful transition into the truth.

Next week we are all going camping again. We have done this before. But the more we spend time together, the better off we are in telling them everything.

It all feels so right and so comfortable. I am so happy with it all! :D
 
MonoVCPHG said:
I'm sure it is a little odd for her parents and brother to see me as a guest who just happens to do dishes and knows where everything goes in her kitchen!!
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I find this funny, because most of my good friends walk around the apartment as if they own it and I couldn't care less. I've come home to friends sitting on my couch watching TV with a drink in their hand and my reaction is, "What's on?"

Redpepper, I love that the transition to the truth, as you call it, is going over so well. Congratulations. I hope the final step can be made soon and go over just as smoothly. :D
 
This sounds so good, you three. Redpepper, your husband did a damn fine job with putting that info out there for everyone. He must be a helluva guy. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to get closer to your truth? Isn't it wonderful to be so familiar, so in tune with your "family" that you don't feel like you're ever encroaching? That level of comfort in your home life is invaluable. My continued good wishes for you all.
 
Yesterday we went to a social gathering primarily consisting of the people we also see at monthly poly meetings. It was nice to get to know people without the weight of polyamory hanging over my head. What I mean by this is that it was about just building friendships, without a topic agenda, which was nice. Redpepper, her husband and son and I were there and it felt very natural to present ourselves as chosen family. We get along so well.

We all had a little fun at my expense when "The Ethical Slut" book came up in the conversation. (Or Satan's Bible, as I refer to it. I hate that book.) I am getting used to being the only mono person in our group and learning to have fun with it. This is a big step forward in integrating comfortably into what has been a very threatening environment for me.

Little steps on a long path with my incredible Lilo and the vision we all have for the future. :)
 
Thanks for all the good wishes, folks. :) I am so glad we can share our story. It feels great to be able to be a bit of hope for those seeking a similar life. I really hope that hope is what we bring, and not jealousy or resentment. Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be better to be more hush-hush. I am sure you all realize that in sharing we build on love, community, respect for differences and hope for the future. That is what it is all about for me.
 
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If anyone is jealous and resentful they need to work on their compersion skills. ;)
 
XYZ123 said:
If anyone is jealous and resentful they need to work on their compersion skills. ;)
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They also need to work on their "Get off their asses and do something about it" skills. ;) If anyone wants what Redpepper and Mono (and family) share, then they better be ready to go get it and work for it.

I admit it. I envy you guys. But I'm not jealous and definitely not resentful. I love hearing these updates. It's like reading a serial story. Maybe you guys should write all this stuff down and co-author a book. ;)
 
Ummm... what to say other than this is so incredibly normal to me and we are all bonding like crazy? :)

Redpepper, her husband, son, brother, parents and I went camping this weekend. It was a great time for me to bond with her brother and spend some time with her husband, as well.

Her husband and I are a very good team, getting projects done, and we are growing increasingly close. Her brother and I get along very well and he knows something is going on. Redpepper is having a hard time not telling him, but the time is not right for all of us, so we will continue to wait for a better and more appropriate time.

I feel very comfortable with all of them. Things are very good with our core family. My relationship with Redpepper has become something beyond intimate love. I love her for her humanity, just knowing she is happy. This is amazing and fulfilling.

During our trip to the camping site we stopped for coffee. As we ordered, Redpepper stood between her husband and me and was obviously affectionate with both of us. Not outwardly intimate, but enough for me to notice the looks of some other customers. I felt quite okay and enjoyed their curiosity. I really don't care how people see us because I know how much love we all have.

Her son is very intuitive and is asking for more "date" times with me LOL! He is jealous of Redpepper's time with me. I told him I need to have more date times with him, and with his dad, as well. I think he is quite happy with me in their life and that is a huge positive for me.

All in all, I am one very happy secondary/primary/life love/whatever you want to call me. This is simply natural and possible for anyone prepared and in love enough to work for it.

Take care,
Mono
 
*smiles and sighs*

Someday...this is what I would want. And although I know you guys have put in a lot of hard work and effort, this is a wish I could dream for.
 
We indeed are becoming more and more content and grounded in our happiness and lives together.

My husband asked me the other night what my intention was with all this. He is sometimes fearful that it is too much in some way, as we are all so content. I didn't know how to answer at first, as it is hard to say why we do things that are not the norm sometimes, and it has all become so natural and easy to love one another. I finally said that it was simple. It's just my path. I'm on it and know it is right for me by the fact that I have never felt so alive and real before. If you saw the difference, even in what we look like in photographs, you'd see. I have never had so many comments on Facebook about how happy I look, how young and healthy. It must be the right path!

We have all decided to take a further step in our relationship together. Mono is looking for a place closer to us. It has been 8 months now and we all agree that he lives too far away. This is the next step to us living together, a very important one. I can visit after work every day and Mono will not have to travel as far to come and get me. Right now, he has to come and get me so my parents don't notice the car is gone overnight.

I am happy to have discovered that if we were all to buy a house together, or if my husband and I bought one, and Mono rented from us, that it would be financially feasible. I am sooooo looking forward to getting my own room, and maybe even bathroom?? :rolleyes::D We have started talking about what our needs would be and how to accommodate my little man (my son). It's early days yet and we won't be looking into all this soon. By the time we get there, we will all know each other so well and be so ready to take this kind of leap, one that I have no doubt will last the rest of our lives, in terms of deep love and friendship.

Last is the hurdle of telling our families. *sigh* It's not an easy task. We already get comments about how I am dictated two by my two men... something my mother said in a joke this weekend. I wonder what they think they know? Hmmmm.... It will be interesting to find out, eventually.

I know one thing is true: I will be able to be completely free with my affections. It drives me crazy to be around Mono and not be able to touch him, kiss him, show him the love I feel. I do with my eyes and glances, but it isn't near enough!
 
RP, Mono, I am so happy for how things are going for you all.

RP, you say the same stuff my OSO says when we're out in public. She wants to show PDAs, but we're still not out locally, either.

Mono, when we're out of town all 3 together, I will walk hand-in-hand with each of them at times and yes, the looks and glances we get are really something! The best one is the look of: "Huh? What is that? One guy, two women, wha???" It is hilarious. I even think a few times, I caught other guys staring and their wives dragging them back to reality with the admonition of, "Don't you dare, ever." So funny!
 
Mark1npt said:
I even think a few times, I caught other guys staring and their wives dragging them back to reality with the admonition of "Don't you dare, ever." So funny!
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I never thought of that! I guess seeing other possibilities would make other people think about what they might be able to have. Very cool.
 
Yes it is, Mono! I have also noticed quite a few odd looks from the 15-18 year olds in the shopping malls. They seem a little puzzled, at first., I guess since we're all probably their parents' ages. While they are a little more acclimated to their generation having multiple partners (they think they and MTV invented the notion, silly kids), they don't think their parents would ever approve of or do anything like this. Maybe we're all a little cooler than they think we are!
 
MonoVCPHG said:
There is a shared love amongst us for one person and each other.

The key to our success, I believe, is that each person cares so much for the other person and their well-being. But with genuine caring you stop noticing the “work” aspect and it just becomes our nature to look after each other.
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MonoVCPHG said:
Thank you, Redpepper. You amaze and bless me with your love, despite the fact you scare me. I had to say it!
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WOW! You're the man!! What a great post.

Barry
 
Thanks, Barry. I don't know about being the man, but I am certainly a very fortunate one. I feel it every day. :)
 
Mark1npt said:
When we're out of town all 3 together, I will walk hand in hand with each of them, at times.
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Do you have a side for each of your ladies? My husband sleeps on my left and Mono sleeps on my right. This has transferred to day-to-day life somewhat, at this point.
 
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