Poly Vignettes: Sharing Success & Happiness

Thanks for the update Mono. hope it's not too traumatic for RP's parents. My wife has recently come out about our 3 to a few of my employees They are quite taken aback by it, moreso than I had imagined they would be. I'm a bit disappointed in them for that, they've known us for 15 years. They look to my wife and I as family, so I guess that would be how some family members might respond. Hopefully, not yours. I am not sure how soon it might be before she'll inform our sons. I know she has plans to tell a few friends next week while she's away on a fishing trip with them. I won't be there as I won't get into small planes (just a chicken, I guess). Continued good luck and happiness to you all.

Hey Mark,

Long time no hear from you, it seems. I hope all is well.

I just wanted to write a quick note (hope Mono doesn't mind) to say that my co-workers have known all along about Mono. They have seen him show up at my work, and heard stories, taken his phone calls, but they have always been a bit skeptical, as they hear from my husband too.

Recently, however, that all changed as my co-worker had a BBQ and we all went. They got to see firsthand how much we all get along together, how I take care of the needs of my men, how well they take care of me and how I disperse my time between them. They also saw my husband and Mono joke around a lot and how are really good and close friends. Their attitude has totally changed. This has become evident in what they say and how they refer to them in my life. Hopefully one day this becomes a reality for the three of you, also.
Glimmer of hope!

I thought I would include this update here because it is positive and hopeful despite all the sadness with coming out lately.

Redpepper's husband talked to his mother about how they live and my involvement with her and his family. She sees us as happy, thier son as happy and all of us loving. She now wants to get together for tea with me as well as with all of us together.

Hopefully her influence and reason will spread to Redpepper's parents :D
This long weekend, Redpepper, her husband, her son and I went camping again. We stayed with another poly couple and were visited by another poly couple, as well. Wow! This community really seems to be coming together, maturing and finding its way.

For me personally, I am finding these social environments much more comfortable and simply enjoying the friendships that are forming. As a community, we are moving away from feeling developmental and somewhat isolated and simply normalizing, I think. I love seeing Redpepper's happiness in this and am finding my own now that her immediate family and I have built our foundation strong and healthy.

As a topper to the weekend, we were sitting on the couch having tea at Redpepper's house after unpacking our gear. Her son declared that we are a team. It was interesting because he said it out of the blue. He's a pretty happy boy IMO.
Sorry to be out of touch for so long, guys, but my OSO and I have been on a wonderful vacation for the past few weeks while my wife is off doing her thing in Alaska with bears and small planes that I won't get into.

Thanks for the kind words, RP. It sounds like your co-workers are really warming up to the idea of you and two guys.

Mono, how wonderful about RP's husband's mother and her acceptance. It sounds wonderful. I do hope this spreads over to her mom and dad, as well. It just might take some time for the shock to wear off.

The topper is the wonderful comment made by their son! It couldn't be any better for a kid to have wonderful loving adults around, setting a great example. Keep it up! You guys are doing something right. I hope we all continue to nourish and flourish in our poly lives.:D
Just worth saying :)

Not much of an update. I just thought I would mention that Redpepper continues to amaze me more and more, and my love for her grows daily. :) Her husband and son are incredible and a blessing in my life.

I have learned so much about who I am and how I work from her. With her, I have come to understand the raw power of connection and the role sexual intimacy has in my life. Sad to say, this has made me more monogamous than ever. LOL! I am forever changed from this journey and made a better man by her influence and intelligence. She is the most trusted person to ever enter my life, and she knows it. What else is there to say, other than I am hers for as long as she can stand her Mono Vanilla Cracker? ;)

Peace and love,
Gonna join in the thread here and share the fun I had talking with my guy C's new gal last night. We all hopped into an IM chatroom and just talked for a couple hours, and by the end we were all laughing to tears and she was reluctant to go to bed!

C also told me that they've agreed to take things as they go and progress through a solid friendship firstl and if things go further, then they do. I'm just happy that she seems accepting of the relationship already established and seems to like me, as well. And she's very similar in personality to C, so I like her too!

C was so happy and bouncy (literally bouncy... he's adorable) that we got along great and he's having so much fun, which makes me even happier.

I'm still waiting for the hiccups, which I know will come eventually, especially if they progress to anything serious. Supposedly she's been through a bad marriage and hasn't been in a poly relationship before, so I'm wary. But at the moment, I'm happy and content, as is C, and I hope she is, too.

This weekend was a busy one for our loving little V. Friday night Redpepper came over, as is almost the norm now, and then we went right into a Saturday consisting of two different parties, with two different groups attended by two different partnerships!!

First, Redpepper and I attended a party for friends of ours, close to my home. They know her husband and our chosen family dynamic but are from the traditional mono "less than sex-positive" environment I am used to, friendships that she and I have built. We always have a good time with them. Every now and then, we get to raise a few eyebrows by mentioning her husband around people who don't know us well. :eek:

Next, we went to her place so she and her husband could go to a party primarily consisting of our poly friends, of which there are quite a few actually. I stayed with their son and spent the night. I love giving to them in this way, as bringing them closer is a way for me to strengthen my connection with myself.

They had a great time and in the morning their son and I watched TV and hung out while they slept. He was very happy to have a "date morning" with me. LOL!

We are learning how to balance our time better, since we have lost a babysitting resource for a while. But again, this only proves we all want this. :)

More good news is that Redpepper's husband's mom is going to babysit for us so we can all go to our monthly poly meeting! She has been great in all this. :)

And lastly, one more bit of happy news is Redpepper actually got to talk to my sister on the phone, which was very cool! My sister asks about my chosen family's wellbeing now and is concerned for the troubles with Redpepper's family. That is an external step forward that makes me grin from ear to ear!

Take care.

Peace and love,
There are some things you missed, my love.

My husband's mum invited us all for supper next weekend, to welcome Mono to our family! Geez, my mum must be hitting the roof!

My brother has done well, so far. He is concerned about my relationship with my husband, but is accepting. He is just confused that this might not be it. He'd like to believe that we added Mono and that will be it forever, not that it is fluid and that change will occur. After all, my husband is dating someone too, and that hasn't come up yet.
This is great to hear, guys. :) Slowly but surely, one day at a time.
OK, so there have been some challenges for my chosen family and me, but there is usually something good in every hurdle.

Tonight I was babysitting Redpepper's son so they could take care of some stuff. During this time, her dad came over to give their son a music lesson. I found him just as friendly as before he knew I was his daughter's boyfriend.

Even more important to me was that I felt no discomfort in being alone with him. Why? My intentions are good. I love Redpepper and her family. I have nothing to hide, and honestly want to bring Redpepper and her husband closer. I also want to help them thrive and share in watching their son grow.

Earlier in the day, I got an email from Redpepper's husband. He was checking in on my welfare and asked how he could help me get the most out of my relationship with Redpepper. How selfless is that? :eek:. He was asking if my own needs were being met and reminding me to be upfront and vocal about what I needed. In actually I have so few needs, I think they feel I am holding back sometimes. LOL!!

He is an amazing man, which doesn't help with the whole idea of why she wants me in her life. I am a very lucky man, indeed. :)
You do have very few needs, love, but we also like to help when you do. Zllowing us to do that is a joy to us. You'll need to let go of being so adamantly independent, as we just won't put up with you doing things on your own when you could use a helping hand. ;)

Our upcoming poly meeting tomorrow night is about poly success. I think this whole thread should be read. We have been very blessed and worked damned hard to create that.
I think we can just sit there and people will know. :D We have worked so hard. I'm looking forward to leaving some of that energy behind in my old place, even though I will miss it. WOW. We really are all making this work and it feels so natural. :)
It is humbling for me to read about this. I'm new to all of this. I feel scared and small-hearted because I want to keep my husband to myself and not have him be with the other woman he's kinda fallen in love with. But the loving way you all care for each other's feelings is awe-inspiring. I'm gonna have to keep opening up to this, I think, even though it's scary and it hurts.
It is humbling for me to read about this. I'm new to all of this. I feel scared, small-hearted because I want to keep my husband to myself, not have him be with the other woman he's kinda fallen in love with. But the loving way you all care for each others feelings is awe-inspiring. I'm gonna have to keep opening up to this I think, even though it's scary and it hurts.

I replied to this on your How do monos cope with polys? thread.
I’m supposed to be packing for a move closer to Redpepper, but I wanted to pass on our evening’s activities. :D

Redpepper’s husband's mother and stepdad invited us all over for supper tonight. They did this as a pseudo “Welcome to the family” event. We all had an excellent time! His parents never batted an eye in seeing all of us together, after being told about our poly relationship. They interacted with me as family and the atmosphere was so friendly and natural that I am a little blown away.

I felt totally at ease, because I know my own heart and intentions and my love for their family shows. Redpepper looked radiant and happy. Her son was playing with all of us. Her husband seemed laid back and enjoyed himself. We made plans for Thanksgiving and his mother invited me to come along for supper again at their place. I am floored at how inviting they are. I am sure Redpepper will sleep better tonight, :D

Peace and love,
As I keep saying, this is so awesome, guys. :) Makes my heart smile for you all!
Hi, everyone. I just got back from beers and nachos with Redpepper's husband. We were checking out a pub in my new neighborhood. It's been a rough week for me, in a few ways, and it was good to sit down and relax with him. We are true friends, tied together by the love of one amazing woman.

We talked about many things, from how we do poly, people's opinions of what we are building, both poly and monogamistic, mushrooms, cable tv and the Hell's Angels.

I am grounded again and feel more positive than ever. Connecting with her husband is very important to my healthy role in our relationship. It is easy because I respect and genuinely care for his wellbeing. I can't stress how important mutual respect is in our dynamic.

I am enjoying building a space with Redpepper to grow in and fill with our energy. She said this was very connecting for her. (I think that was her term.) Like, she is no longer a guest, but a part of my home. She always was a part of it, but now she feels it.

I'm blessed. :) I just wanted everyone to know that we are all good within our love.

Take care,
This sounds really lovely. Is there any prospect of bringing your own family (well, maybe not your ex, but your child) into this lovely alternative family? I imagine that would just complete the circle for you. :)
This sounds really lovely. Is there any prospect of bringing your own family (well - maybe not your ex, but your child) into this lovely alternative family? I imagine that would just complete the circle for you. :)

My ex is a wonderful woman and my daughter is an amazingly talented individual. They are thriving and seem quite happy where they are now in life. I would like to share more of my life with them, but that is not the case currently. Who knows what the future will bring, though? This is a success and happiness thread, after all!
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