Does anyone else think this sounds like a fake post? Reminds me of a fake letter to an advice columnist I saw once...a husband was all upset because his multiple brothers fucked his wife or something like that...
"The first blowjob she ever gave," really?
The issue is that really good guys like yourself can't imagine behaving this way. I mean yes, you are aware it happens on a theoretical level, but it isn't a part of your existence. A jackass guy isn't going to pull that shit on you.
Unfortunately, because the jackasses can seem like okay guys and don't wear signs stating their assholery, women need to be vigilant when in the company of men she doesn't know well.
... I just wondered if what they did was normal.
There is a reason they didn't talk about what was about to happen and he didn't ask my wife if and I if we were doing ok. there is a reason he......
This happened. I know because I did it in high school and college and used to justify it the same way. I'd know someone would have never fucked me if they were sober, and that they didn't really want to do what I wanted to do. And they resisted, said out loud they didn't want to. And I just said, "Nothings gonna happen I just wanna snuggle." Then you start kissing her neck, feeling around. Try to get them excited without them even realizing it. Then you fuck them even though you knew they never wanted to, you just knew you could get them to do it. And I justified it the same way some of you do. Well you know what to all of you who say my wife just got drunk and fucked someone next to me? Fuck you! Go ahead and keep ruining lives if you want, and justifying it with, "well they should've stopped me." You're a piece of shit and you know it just beneath the surface.
I have no idea if this is a real post or not, but I find this post rather disturbing. I got the impression the OP was posing himself and his wife as rather innocent and naïve hapless victims, and here he freely admits he himself routinely did to girls and women what he's now angry about being done to him? If he wants to call this incident date rape, then he needs to also label himself a serial date rapist.
I find it disturbing that he would be so incensed about it when it's how he himself has lived. I find it disturbing that he would be yelling at others to 'go ahead and keep ruining lives if you want' when he himself is the one who actually did exactly this to women.
Yes but he did it and got away with it, and now the statute of limitations is probably expired in his jurisdiction. Plus, this is an anonymous message board so it's perfectly safe for someone to admit to getting away with criminal behaviour because their victims won't be able to recognize them or use their post as evidence in court or anything like that.
OP, go back to reddit where the scummy perverts belong.
I'm sorry I got so mad. I shouldn't ask questions on the Internet and expect everyone to be civil or sensitive. Thank you to the people that were just trying to give advice. We are both just so confused. We've been together six years and went from our very first mention of involving other couples to sex in like 1.5 hours and my wife doesn't even flirt with other guys. She went from me eating her out to him having sex with her so fast that, even if she had a moment to question it she was already getting fucked; and my wife likes getting fucked. She would've went from "is this ok?" to "I love our new thing." in no time at all, especially when she was drunk. We take responsibility for that and for myself not recognizing that it was possible for something like that to happen. Hindsight is a bitch. But now she's sick because it wasn't "our new thing." Some guy I thought was our friend swooped in like the wind while my back was turned and seeing her like that took my spine away completely. My wife, who doesn't even look at other men. When I walked in from the bathroom they both looked at me in a way... I hate myself for it. I didn't understand. I thought she was afraid she'd gone too far, doing something not even we do alone. But her face was telling me something happened while I was gone that wasn't right. I thought she was showing me attention because she felt bad, wanted to assure me it was ok. But she wanted my protection. When I didn't give it to her, when I somehow, however it happened in the blank space, gave her back to that man. And she begged for it later. And had sex with him a second time. She feels like she begged the devil himself for dick. I wanted her to feel bad about what she did at first, though I did nothing to encourage it, my pain from witnessing it was enough. But now she feels far more pain than is appropriate for the situation. She hates herself so much. I'm sorry poly folks. I know what the difference between poly and swingers now. Just goes to show how little we knew I guess. I clearly need a therapist because I can stop this stuff pouring out of me even when it's not the place. I wouldn't call what I did in college date rape but it was definately predatory and manipulative. I know it was wrong.
She didn't want to go to the psychiatrist because she was satisfied with the counselor that threw me under the bus.
YouAreHere said:get some healing and stop pointing the finger of blame. It seems to be pointing all over the place.