LovingRadiance
Active member
Derby, I love you!
Predator Poly Couples
- Thread starter ConfusedMonoCouple
- Start date
- Status
Derby, I love you!
One of my favorite quotes from my ex-husband, not long before we separated, was, "Why do we need to talk? We never talked before."
Um, yeah. And we're in such a great place now, aren't we?
Oh yeah. And there was that too. He tried very hard to promote communication. Her way of pleasing him? To sit down with a sigh of resignation, and say, "Okay, let's do your talk thing."
Derbylicious
New member
Awww, thanks.
Dirtclustit
Banned
Yeah, it didn't come out clear
I can see where you'd call it conspiracy, as I do tend to babble when topics hit close to home. Perhaps I should have written more clearly.
Maybe this reply will answer a question for you too, Vinccenzo, because when I said something along the lines of:
I might have trouble labeling a women inserting a man's erect penis into her as rape.
I really should have said, I cannot label a women inserting a man's erect penis into her rape. Mostly because it would have to happen, and then the man would have to honestly make that claim, that is was rape.
I don't believe it has ever happened that a man has believed he was raped, in a sexual act context, where he claims it was a woman who raped him, and the acts that took place did not involve penetration of him with something by the alleged rapist.
Are you sure you heard your friend right? Did he really call it rape, the situation that happened where a woman placed his erect penis inside her, so long as you are talking about a legal adult male, who was not awake and so he did not consent? And if you really have a friend or acquaintance who actually believes this, I know of some people who would be very interested in understanding his situation. And while they wouldn't promise him it would be lucrative as that has led to more fabricated information than not, if I were him I would get in touch with this group, because when they can tell you aren't bullshitting, they had accidentally revealed a little bit more of what it is exactly they are studying.
I am going to get in a lot of hot water for explaining it, but fuck 'em, these are important issues, and I am not in it for money. But I will start another thread, because I can sympathize with Confused, and maybe understanding what I am doing a horrible job at explaining, will help him.
But all that is for another post. I just wanted to ensure you I didn't mean you were ignorant.
Maybe there are some realities you have trouble completely understanding because you are not female, and therefore probably have never been raped. I think it more accurately is that they are just confused, at the core, deep, deep, way down deep, further than one would think to know.
As it was once put by another: "They have no pain. Like the fire, they are pure, they are not to blame."
I can see where you'd call it conspiracy, as I do tend to babble when topics hit close to home. Perhaps I should have written more clearly.
Maybe this reply will answer a question for you too, Vinccenzo, because when I said something along the lines of:
I might have trouble labeling a women inserting a man's erect penis into her as rape.
I really should have said, I cannot label a women inserting a man's erect penis into her rape. Mostly because it would have to happen, and then the man would have to honestly make that claim, that is was rape.
I don't believe it has ever happened that a man has believed he was raped, in a sexual act context, where he claims it was a woman who raped him, and the acts that took place did not involve penetration of him with something by the alleged rapist.
Are you sure you heard your friend right? Did he really call it rape, the situation that happened where a woman placed his erect penis inside her, so long as you are talking about a legal adult male, who was not awake and so he did not consent? And if you really have a friend or acquaintance who actually believes this, I know of some people who would be very interested in understanding his situation. And while they wouldn't promise him it would be lucrative as that has led to more fabricated information than not, if I were him I would get in touch with this group, because when they can tell you aren't bullshitting, they had accidentally revealed a little bit more of what it is exactly they are studying.
I am going to get in a lot of hot water for explaining it, but fuck 'em, these are important issues, and I am not in it for money. But I will start another thread, because I can sympathize with Confused, and maybe understanding what I am doing a horrible job at explaining, will help him.
But all that is for another post. I just wanted to ensure you I didn't mean you were ignorant.
Maybe there are some realities you have trouble completely understanding because you are not female, and therefore probably have never been raped. I think it more accurately is that they are just confused, at the core, deep, deep, way down deep, further than one would think to know.
As it was once put by another: "They have no pain. Like the fire, they are pure, they are not to blame."
Last edited:
I read it three times and I don't know what you're trying to say here. I'll take a stab at guessing.
Are you asking if I'm sure I heard my friend right, and am I sure he actually said a woman raped him? If that is what you're asking, then yes, I am sure I heard him right. Yes, he did say it was a woman and that she raped him. I would say, technically she attempted to rape him, but she most certainly did molest/sexually assault him.
He had taken her back to his place. It was a first date and they'd met at a bar. He didn't know where her home was. He put her on his couch in the front room and went to bed. She removed her own clothes and, naked, went into his room and straddled him while he slept. He woke in time, before she got him fully inside her. He pushed her off and took a shower, since she'd wiped her naked vagina on him plenty attempting to put him inside her. When he came back, she had passed out again on his bed. He took the couch. In the morning she woke up naked in his bed. She dressed quickly, headed home, AND THEN TOLD PEOPLE HE'D RAPED HER.
He was pretty traumatized, first sexually, and then by character assassination, because people believed it, people like you who can't imagine a guy could possibly not want to fuck every second of the day, no matter the circumstance.
Are you asking if I'm sure I heard my friend right, and am I sure he actually said a woman raped him? If that is what you're asking, then yes, I am sure I heard him right. Yes, he did say it was a woman and that she raped him. I would say, technically she attempted to rape him, but she most certainly did molest/sexually assault him.
He had taken her back to his place. It was a first date and they'd met at a bar. He didn't know where her home was. He put her on his couch in the front room and went to bed. She removed her own clothes and, naked, went into his room and straddled him while he slept. He woke in time, before she got him fully inside her. He pushed her off and took a shower, since she'd wiped her naked vagina on him plenty attempting to put him inside her. When he came back, she had passed out again on his bed. He took the couch. In the morning she woke up naked in his bed. She dressed quickly, headed home, AND THEN TOLD PEOPLE HE'D RAPED HER.
He was pretty traumatized, first sexually, and then by character assassination, because people believed it, people like you who can't imagine a guy could possibly not want to fuck every second of the day, no matter the circumstance.
Last edited:
Vixtoria
New member
It bothers me to no end that this happens so often. Men being branded rapists because a girl got too drunk, tried stuff and then was embarrassed when she sobered up, or when she was turned down, and so cried rape. It pisses me off, which is seriously not vehement enough. As someone that has dealt with rape, seeing it thrown around as a defense mechanism is just, ugggh. I want to stab people. In the face. IN. THE. FACE.
Marcus
Well-known member
First, hahahaha, that is awesome.
Second, watching conversations like this take place makes me very uneasy. It makes me want to get a notarized letter of consent before I shake a girl's hand.
LovingRadiance
Active member
I would damn near want a notarized letter of consent.
But really, there is a difference between having sex drunk, and then saying rape, and claiming that you take advantage of the option by getting someone else drunk.
Personally, I just don't have sex (with men or women) until I know that they want it sober. After that, if we want to drink to our hearts' content, so be it. But we're going to discuss it sober first.
The whole "men can't be raped" thing made me too green to even comment. Men CAN be raped and they ARE raped.
But really, there is a difference between having sex drunk, and then saying rape, and claiming that you take advantage of the option by getting someone else drunk.
Personally, I just don't have sex (with men or women) until I know that they want it sober. After that, if we want to drink to our hearts' content, so be it. But we're going to discuss it sober first.
The whole "men can't be raped" thing made me too green to even comment. Men CAN be raped and they ARE raped.
Dirtclustit
Banned
Easy there, my kindest, bestest friends
You still aren't hearing me. I am not saying that men can't be raped. I know damn well that they can be raped, and that women can be responsible for the act, but it requires more than inserting the man's erect penis into herself
You all, with your psychological and literary genius, seem to be missing the entire point, the paradox, if you will, that rape is NOT only a sexual crime.
It is also a crime of power and control, the idea that the perpetrator believes that because in that one specific instance, which is not perpetual and not a situation where the rapist's temporary power lasts long, but nevertheless, at that moment, the perpetrator believes he has authority to enter a place that he has NO AUTHORITY to enter, as it is solely the owner of that space's decision, and nothing can ever make entrance to space okay, except permission. Sort of like it's never okay for another to enter a man's asshole without his permission.
It is about entering a space that is not only not public, but so private that only the person whose body IS that space itself, and only that person can grant permission to enter.
You can twist what I say as much as you want, but if you think anything that I wrote means that I don't understand that men don't always want to fuck during every second of every day, then you should read what I said again. I am not being cryptic. I am not intending my words to have esoteric meaning. I am attempting to explain a principle which many people fail to understand.
I can empathize with both sexes being raped, and not having anyone believe them, AND how it feels to be accused of rape when nothing further from the truth could be the reality of what happened.
Get this, you can beat around the bush all you want, I will NOT be intimidated intellectually or physically. The fact you do not know this speaks of both YOUR intelligence and your knowledge of history, because not only have I been in both those situations, but everywhere in between. I have been ignorant enough to not see there have have been instances in my life where if the woman believed I raped her, than that is what happened, and that is my fault because I was too stupid, like you, at the time, to understand.
I have also almost ruined my life and others' lives, because a woman whom I am close with, I mistakenly believed was raped, and it was only by chance that I was stopped, when she found out and clarified that she had only used the term "rape" because she didn't want to deal with one particular person. And even if she hadn't asked where I was going that day, it would have been my fault, as I had only overheard an argument when I had given her a ride to her boyfriend's to drop off her school books before we had to go to work, and like, her boyfriend believed it, it seemed plausible to me, so I believed it without ever asking her about it. I understand that people I once thought very highly of, are capable of lying.
But it is NOT because of "people like me" that innocent men get accused of rape.
My general disgust with men is more due to them being full of shit most of the time. Do you realise, Vinccenzo, that you claimed men get raped more then often then I think? And you said this because you did not understand me, and why I do not consider it rape, at least not the act alone of having his dick inserted into someone with his permission. I know that it might not make sense to you that people can be wrongly convicted of a crime they did not commit, while having that very act done to them, and not have that molestation be constituted as rape.
It sounds like it cannot be right, but it is, and I am not discounting the severity of the wrongs done to your friend, nor I am discounting the damage done to him.
THE ONLY THING I AM SAYING, because this topic needs to be addressed, is that sex acts with a mans dick being inserted into another is not the same act, nor carry the same consequences, as the other side of that act, being a woman's vagina having a dick inserted into it. They are not equal halves of an equation of consequence.
I am speaking about the importance of truth, and not being afraid of it. The woman who I wrongly thought was raped would have never said something like that to me, as she knows me. But rather then telling her husband the truth, and dealing with an uncomfortable situation, she lied.
I realize that I am responsible for my actions, which is why I don't associate with others as anything but casual acquaintances, unless I know they value, respect, and are not afraid of the truth, even though we do not employ it as a weapon.
Maybe you aren't hearing me still. I am not saying women don't lie. I am not saying it's okay to be slandered and accused.
I am not saying men cannot be raped by women. I am saying that it is not rape, simply for the act of inserting part of the victim into the perp, as that is not entering a sovereign space.
I am not saying there are times when men choose not to have sex. I am saying that if a man is not penetrated, it is molestation and different from rape. Molestation between adults is not as severe of a wrongdoing, but it is still a fucked-up thing to do.
The sickness, the disease, has more to do with not showing respect to things not under your control and authority, during the periods that nothing is preventing you from maintaining that respect.
I understand most, if not all of the things rape is not.
I understand most, if not all of most of the things rape is.
I am not speaking from some exercise in imagination, nor I am being a dick and just pretending I am stupid, when it's really just being a stupid prick. I am speaking from personal, accurately remembered experience, all of which have nothing to do with anything, nor the times I have been tricked into believing things that were not true, but I had believed they were, because of a parallel to the frame of mind of rapists, that happens with power and control and also authority of said power and control of information in this electronic age.
Women are much less prone to committing such crimes because they are inherently more knowledgeable to truth by experience, and have to be taught to accept false core beliefs, whereas the male comes pre-wired with lies.
Take it however you want to take it, for whatever meaning you hear. It doesn't change anything, and everything that Is real remains real, despite how much power and authority is abused.
You still aren't hearing me. I am not saying that men can't be raped. I know damn well that they can be raped, and that women can be responsible for the act, but it requires more than inserting the man's erect penis into herself
You all, with your psychological and literary genius, seem to be missing the entire point, the paradox, if you will, that rape is NOT only a sexual crime.
It is also a crime of power and control, the idea that the perpetrator believes that because in that one specific instance, which is not perpetual and not a situation where the rapist's temporary power lasts long, but nevertheless, at that moment, the perpetrator believes he has authority to enter a place that he has NO AUTHORITY to enter, as it is solely the owner of that space's decision, and nothing can ever make entrance to space okay, except permission. Sort of like it's never okay for another to enter a man's asshole without his permission.
It is about entering a space that is not only not public, but so private that only the person whose body IS that space itself, and only that person can grant permission to enter.
You can twist what I say as much as you want, but if you think anything that I wrote means that I don't understand that men don't always want to fuck during every second of every day, then you should read what I said again. I am not being cryptic. I am not intending my words to have esoteric meaning. I am attempting to explain a principle which many people fail to understand.
I can empathize with both sexes being raped, and not having anyone believe them, AND how it feels to be accused of rape when nothing further from the truth could be the reality of what happened.
Get this, you can beat around the bush all you want, I will NOT be intimidated intellectually or physically. The fact you do not know this speaks of both YOUR intelligence and your knowledge of history, because not only have I been in both those situations, but everywhere in between. I have been ignorant enough to not see there have have been instances in my life where if the woman believed I raped her, than that is what happened, and that is my fault because I was too stupid, like you, at the time, to understand.
I have also almost ruined my life and others' lives, because a woman whom I am close with, I mistakenly believed was raped, and it was only by chance that I was stopped, when she found out and clarified that she had only used the term "rape" because she didn't want to deal with one particular person. And even if she hadn't asked where I was going that day, it would have been my fault, as I had only overheard an argument when I had given her a ride to her boyfriend's to drop off her school books before we had to go to work, and like, her boyfriend believed it, it seemed plausible to me, so I believed it without ever asking her about it. I understand that people I once thought very highly of, are capable of lying.
But it is NOT because of "people like me" that innocent men get accused of rape.
My general disgust with men is more due to them being full of shit most of the time. Do you realise, Vinccenzo, that you claimed men get raped more then often then I think? And you said this because you did not understand me, and why I do not consider it rape, at least not the act alone of having his dick inserted into someone with his permission. I know that it might not make sense to you that people can be wrongly convicted of a crime they did not commit, while having that very act done to them, and not have that molestation be constituted as rape.
It sounds like it cannot be right, but it is, and I am not discounting the severity of the wrongs done to your friend, nor I am discounting the damage done to him.
THE ONLY THING I AM SAYING, because this topic needs to be addressed, is that sex acts with a mans dick being inserted into another is not the same act, nor carry the same consequences, as the other side of that act, being a woman's vagina having a dick inserted into it. They are not equal halves of an equation of consequence.
I am speaking about the importance of truth, and not being afraid of it. The woman who I wrongly thought was raped would have never said something like that to me, as she knows me. But rather then telling her husband the truth, and dealing with an uncomfortable situation, she lied.
I realize that I am responsible for my actions, which is why I don't associate with others as anything but casual acquaintances, unless I know they value, respect, and are not afraid of the truth, even though we do not employ it as a weapon.
Maybe you aren't hearing me still. I am not saying women don't lie. I am not saying it's okay to be slandered and accused.
I am not saying men cannot be raped by women. I am saying that it is not rape, simply for the act of inserting part of the victim into the perp, as that is not entering a sovereign space.
I am not saying there are times when men choose not to have sex. I am saying that if a man is not penetrated, it is molestation and different from rape. Molestation between adults is not as severe of a wrongdoing, but it is still a fucked-up thing to do.
The sickness, the disease, has more to do with not showing respect to things not under your control and authority, during the periods that nothing is preventing you from maintaining that respect.
I understand most, if not all of the things rape is not.
I understand most, if not all of most of the things rape is.
I am not speaking from some exercise in imagination, nor I am being a dick and just pretending I am stupid, when it's really just being a stupid prick. I am speaking from personal, accurately remembered experience, all of which have nothing to do with anything, nor the times I have been tricked into believing things that were not true, but I had believed they were, because of a parallel to the frame of mind of rapists, that happens with power and control and also authority of said power and control of information in this electronic age.
Women are much less prone to committing such crimes because they are inherently more knowledgeable to truth by experience, and have to be taught to accept false core beliefs, whereas the male comes pre-wired with lies.
Take it however you want to take it, for whatever meaning you hear. It doesn't change anything, and everything that Is real remains real, despite how much power and authority is abused.
Last edited:
This might be a good time to remind everyone that this forum is international, and thus rife for the possibilities of cultural differences.
I don't know why people continue to think the definition of rape is somehow a matter of opinion, where one POV can be as valid as another, and then debated with some amount of civility and detachment.
More importantly however, the metal/meat interface of this discussion has to do with the law...
For example, we have no Rape in Canada anymore, just Sexual Assault, as defined by the Criminal Code:
Note that while the act does define sexual intercourse, it is not used in the definition of sexual assault, but instead focuses on sexual activity ...which can be much more broadly defined. Thus ANY activity that can be construed as sexual in nature, can, if consent is not given, be the basis for criminal charges for Sexual Assault.
(Genders of the persons in question are also not a factor)
Also note that 273.2 is why I suspect anyone from Canada who is posting here, will not be very forgiving of the intoxicated nature of the incident described by the OP, since up here, it doesn't change, excuse, or defend any aspect of a sexual assault.
By contrast, looking at the UK laws briefly on wiki, it seems that Rape is a male only crime, since it appears that possession of a penis is a prerequisite for the crime to be perpetrated.
As for the USA...I have no idea...it's a state by state thing apparently...I don't get it.
The point here, is that everyone can probably take a step back, and recognize that:
Now, perhaps we can get away from the mechanics of what tab or slots need to be inserted where to qualify, since it's a question better left to the courts of the region in which any given incident occurred...and find our way back to whatever the topic was supposed to be.
I don't know why people continue to think the definition of rape is somehow a matter of opinion, where one POV can be as valid as another, and then debated with some amount of civility and detachment.
More importantly however, the metal/meat interface of this discussion has to do with the law...
For example, we have no Rape in Canada anymore, just Sexual Assault, as defined by the Criminal Code:
Note that while the act does define sexual intercourse, it is not used in the definition of sexual assault, but instead focuses on sexual activity ...which can be much more broadly defined. Thus ANY activity that can be construed as sexual in nature, can, if consent is not given, be the basis for criminal charges for Sexual Assault.
(Genders of the persons in question are also not a factor)
Also note that 273.2 is why I suspect anyone from Canada who is posting here, will not be very forgiving of the intoxicated nature of the incident described by the OP, since up here, it doesn't change, excuse, or defend any aspect of a sexual assault.
By contrast, looking at the UK laws briefly on wiki, it seems that Rape is a male only crime, since it appears that possession of a penis is a prerequisite for the crime to be perpetrated.
As for the USA...I have no idea...it's a state by state thing apparently...I don't get it.
The point here, is that everyone can probably take a step back, and recognize that:
- If you are being triggered by another PoV, they may be in another country where the definitions are not the same.
- If you are triggering others with your PoV, you may want to step back and consider they may come from a place with stricter laws, or personal experience that makes the topic particularly painful.
- Everyone will do well to think about how they proceed with a topic as sensitive as this, and it's affect on others.
Now, perhaps we can get away from the mechanics of what tab or slots need to be inserted where to qualify, since it's a question better left to the courts of the region in which any given incident occurred...and find our way back to whatever the topic was supposed to be.
LovingRadiance
Active member
II, in the US it is state by state, which, as you noted, does make it even more complicated. But as a rule of thumb our laws *tend* to be more in alignment with what you noted Canadian law on the topic is.
BoringGuy
Banned
LovingRadiance
Active member
In theory, different places have different standards of right and wrong. Shrug.
BoringGuy
Banned
ORLY? Whose "theory" is that?
I don't think the Law has much to do with "standards of right and wrong" regardless of "different places".
Just because forcing a woman to marry her rapist is LEGAL in "different places" does NOT make it RIGHT.
Just because smoking marijuana is ILLEGAL in "different places" does not make it WRONG.
I do not need artificial laws to tell me Right from Wrong - not in the US, not in the UK, not in Canada, not on Jupiter.
Fuck "laws". Laws are for cowards who cannot think for themselves.
ETA: Imaginary Illusion, do not bust my chops for this. You were the one who brought the LAW into this discussion. Up until that point, we were discussing Right and Wrong. I am just pointing out that one does not flow from the other. Rape can be LEGAL and it is still WRONG, no matter where you live or what the fabulous LAWS are.
Last edited:
Derbylicious
New member
There are laws on Jupiter?
BoringGuy
Banned
Well, I can't PROVE it; but I heard that one of them is called "gravity".
Natja
New member
What countries would those be? I am pretty sure you are not referring to anywhere within the Roman Empire.
BoringGuy
Banned
Oh you know... Probably the country of Africa or Asia.
Natja
New member
Africa like Egypt, or Asia like Babylon, Assyria or Persia, you mean?
- Status