Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

Outsider

New member
Is there room for a King Sized bed in your room?

Perhaps a king size memory foam topper 2 or 3 inches can be put on a floor someplace and this would do for a bit.

Essentially what I read here is that your bed is too small for the three of you to comfortably sleep ...... That would suggest one either finds a larger bed to sleep on or smaller people to sleep with. The larger bed seems the logical choice.

It sounds like everything else is going really well ..... good luck
 

YaHerdWithPerd

New member
Yeah, I suppose that would be the simplest answer, but theres no way I could either afford, or fit, a King Sized in our current situation.
 

FullofLove1052

New member
Are sleepovers at her place an option, or what about increasing the bed size by a little? Or is the bed already a tight squeeze with no room for anything bigger? If not, there are always options like Craigslist and Ebay. I do not know where you live, but beds usually have more than the standard sizes of Queen, King, etc. One off the top is the Olympic Queen/California Queen.

Outside of upgrading the bed size, I do not have any solutions. Glad all is going well for you!
 

BoringGuy

Banned
Is there any way you could amputate her feet or surgically remove a few vertebrae? Liposuction? That might help free up some space in the bed.

This reminds me of a question i saw on reddit where some guy said his dick was too big for his wife's mouth, and did anyone have any suggestions. I asked if he was already circumcised, and if so, perhaps his wife could have some of her teeth removed.

In either case, it would probably depend on how good your insurance is, especially in your case, since buying a king size bed would probably be cheaper than elective surgery.

Other than that, what about just using the floor?

Also, i don't know what type of mattress you have, but the most expensive futon is cheaper than the cheapest spring mattress, in case you weren't aware.
 
Mornings minus sleepovers.

I find sleeping arrangements in threes very awkward. We have a king sized bed, and there's still always what we like to refer to as "piggy in the middle". Someone is stuck sweating it out in the middle of two warm bodies, and can't quite tuck blankets in or be comfortable, LOL. Or, someone is a cuddler, and they're on the other side of the person who can take the heat, so to speak, of being PITM, and doesn't get their snuggles before bed, or what have you. I find that sleeps are just not generally as restful with a third in the bed.

My FAVOURITE is when one person sleeps in the spare bedroom - we took turns on that, and would rejoin up in the morning for snuggles. It also gave the chance for one-on-one trysting as our relationships developed as well. If you haven't done that yet, I'd highly recommend YOU being the one that sleeps elsewhere to allow the ladies to bond, and foster a connection without you, especially if your wife is new to ladies and hasn't had the chance to fully develop her bisexuality. It also allows for one/both of you to go to the spare bedroom with breakfast in the morning and spoil your lover - everyone is refreshed and bushy tailed....

Group sleeping is overrated in my opinion - I'd do it if I had a baby and was breastfeeding, but I prefer to have a max of two in a bed for sleep quality, LOL. Snuggles and breakfast all cuddled up are THE BEST mind you, and I would never pass those up!
 

northhome

New member
Group sleeping is overrated in my opinion

Agreed. Two seems simply to work so much better since each one has their side of the bed to get out of when nature calls :p

Group cuddles on the other hand are splendid but do benefit from a larger space.
 

BoringGuy

Banned
I don't even sleep well with one other person be ause i am a light sleeper and the other people always keep me awake with their snoring and farting. I realize that i snore and fart too but mine never seem to keep other people awake.

Spouse and i have been sleeping in separate bedrooms for years.
 

BSP83

New member
When we get a new bed in the next few years, we're going from queen to king. In the meantime, I sleep over at S's on the weekends, and she has a king. That's the only sleeping arrangement we've worked out so far.
 

JaneQSmythe

Active member
My boys are both around 6 feet but I am small (5'2") - a king size bed suits us just fine (although we can deal with a queen or even a double if needed). But I think the cuddle-ness factor plays a large role. MrS doesn't like to be crowded when he sleeps while Dude likes to sleep all intertwined. I prefer touching but not all tangled. So it usually ends up that I have my legs intertwined with Dude's but the top half free with a hand or foot just leaning up against MrS.

Another important factor is bedding - MrS and I learned years ago that we each need our own sets (since I am a notorious blanket and pillow hog) - so we generally have 8-9 pillows available and 4-5 different covers of various warmness/weight. So if someone wakes up and is too hot/cold they can fish around for whatever suits (or more pillows or whatever).

I find it interesting that, although I love my middle cuddle position, I am perfectly capable, apparently, of taking up an entire king-size bed BY MYSELF. (The boys also claim that my density increases exponentially in these circumstances...:D).

Now FOUR in the kingsize bed does present difficulties...under these circumstances MrS insists on an "end" position and that the person next to him is ME (since I have learned over the last 20 years to sleep stretched up against him without either shoving him out of bed or tying us in knots...I'm his barrier against others).

(Dude is the most likely, however, to abandon the bed for the couch...MrS snores and, on occasion, he and I will have a competition as to who can outsnore the other...:rolleyes:)

JaneQ
 
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kkxvlv

New member
No useful ideas to add if a bigger bed isn't an option but your post did bring back some great group sleep memories. Like the first time my boyfriend tried to stay the whole night in our bed, I woke up so sad that he had left. He insists that he woke up on the very edge of the bed, and right at that moment I kicked him off the rest of the way. One of the most useful bits of poly knowledge I've ever read was the suggestion of multiple covers. It seems so obvious now but I hadn't figured it out on my own. I'm sure the concept is over-rated but I enjoy trying on occasion for the comedy.

How about an air mattress for the odd man out? It's not great but it beats the floor.
 

Avaofthedark

New member
I can definently relate to your post! I am also in a triad and the couple I am dating live in one house with their kids and I live in mine. Were supposed to have equal sleeping time with him but she sleeps wit him mon-fri and my days are sat and sun although he rarely comes to me on my time. I can definently understand your frustration about the situation. I really hope things work out between you three in terms of figuring out a much more fair solution
When you do I may need your advice haha
 

JustUs

Member
Sleeping arrangement - Question

So, my wife's boyfriend of four years just moved in with us about 2 months ago. Their relationship had been a long distance one for those for years. He would visit 3-4 times a year 2 to 4 weeks at a time....
He and I get along great, so there is no issue there. My wife and I have been together 17 years and of course for those 17 years, have always slept in the same room together.
But back to the original question. How does my wife decide who she will sleep with on any given night. Do poly triads have a system on deciding what nights the "hinge of a V" sleeps in whose room?
Currently, my wife and I share a bedroom and he has a room of his own. I am completely fine with her sleeping in his room on certain nights and in our room on certain nights. Just curious how others have worked it out.
 

Sandy2u

New member
We have a schedule. I have 2 nights with her, 2 with him, 2 by myself, and 1 with all of us, on a weekly basis. We would all spend every night together but our kids are still young and seek us out in the middle of the night.
 

Ariakas

Bosun
Honestly you just decide based on respecting everyones needs. My gf doesn't need as much bed time with me, so we try to sleep togeher 2 nights a week. However sometimes, due to travel, colds, etc.. that doesn't work out. Some weeks, rarely, its 3 nights.

Most of the time we wing it, and don't have expectations because life just gets in the way sometimes. :)
 

JaneQSmythe

Active member
We don't have a schedule. I always sleep in the bed (we only have one - it is king-size). The boys are free to join me, or not depending on their desires and schedules. I sleep in the "middle" and they have their own sides. Anyone who doesn't want to be crowded can sleep on the couch.

When Lotus is over, she is free to sleep in the bed as well. We usually end up as MFMF when there are four in the bed. MrS always sleeps on his side and next to me. I kick a lot when I'm sleeping so Lotus uses Dude as a "buffer"...but I think she likes to be in the middle after I get up.:D

JaneQ
 

idealist

Member
I prefer to sleep alone for the most part. Richard and I sleep together one to two nights a week. Lee occasionally spends the night with me- about four times a year. I also sleep with a straight female friend of mine when she joins me at the beach which is starting to be 3 to 4 nights a month. Although she and I play together (as in swinger activity) and we are sexual with one another when with men or couples but we are not sexual when we are alone together however we do enjoy sleeping together. She has gotten to be an important person in my life!

Richard sleeps with one of his partners about two nights a week and his other partner about twice a month.

It is good to get feedback from others, however what works for you guys may be totally different from anything anyone else is doing! That's one of the things I love about poly- it is totally customizable!
 

FullofLove1052

New member
There was never a schedule. I slept where I was comfortable and wanted to. When I was at home, I slept in my bed. My career meant not sleeping in my bed most nights, so I took the opportunity to sleep there and next to my DH. My spouse was strongly opposed to my ex being in our bed, so it never happened. If she slept over, she stayed in one of the guest bedrooms. I usually stayed until she went to sleep but never the whole night. I doubt this would work for others.

Idealist is right. The beauty is that it is customisable. In your household, it might change every night or week. It is one of those fluid things. Hell, I say just go with it. :D
 

Dagferi

Well-known member
I split my time between two houses. On the rare occasion Murf is spending the night in the home I share with Butch I sleep with Murf. I sleep much better with Murf than Butch despite my being with Butch longer.
 

LovingRadiance

Active member
I don't sleep in GG's room at night if Maca is home. But, Maca leaves at 5:30am for work and GG doesn't even get home from work until almost 2am. So I will go to GG's room and cuddle with him in the morning after Maca goes to work.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
I didn't realize how many people don't sleep with their live-in partners. Hmm. Another one of those "I've been doing it because society told me to" things. I'm used to sleeping alone because Gralson usually works out of town, but when he's home for extended periods I start to miss having the bed to myself. I wish we had another bed because he can be a thrasher and I sometimes have trouble falling asleep. Usually not the end of the world since I just sleep longer in the morning, but sometimes I have to be up early and be coherent and it would be nice to have an alternative. Something to think about when we get around to buying a bigger house...
 
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