Sleeping Arrangements and Beds: Merged Threads, General Discussion

LovingRadiance

Active member
We frequently all sleep in selarate beds. At first it *felt* like it would be a bad idea. But honestly- if I get a good nights sleep, I am a MUCH nicer person. Both the guys snore, Maca and I have neck/back issues. GG prefers a VERY soft mattress, which leaves me in a puddle of pained joints and maca prefers such a firm mattress you may as well sleep on the floor. Additionally maca prefers to sleep in a cool environment, but I am ALWAYS freezing cold. I sleep with heated sheets and heavy comforters.
Sex, cuddling, snuggling-absolutely. But sleep, it doesn't need to be together.
Often one or the other will tuck me in, talk for a few, kiss me good night and then leave me alone to sleep. What a relief when we got over *having* to share a bed for sleep due to convention!
 

Magdlyn

Moderator
Staff member
Heh, I guess no one here has young children they co-sleep with as well? Shoot, many of my younger friends with babies or toddlers sleep with their kids, and depending on the size of the beds, that might mean Mom sleeps with the infant and Dad sleeps with the toddler, even in another room. Or maybe Mom and Dad sleep with 2 or 3 kids in a huge bed on the floor.

That might mean Mom and Dad have sex in a room not a bedroom...

Customs can change depending on individual needs. For your kids, for your partner. Whether you're poly, or mono, living with 3 or 4 adults in the house full time, or living with one partner part time, the other partner part time, or full time with one and having overnights only occasionally with the other.

Depends on health issues, schedules, temperature requirements (hot flashes, anyone?), not wanting to be in the middle and have a hard time getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, whether you like the TV on or off, how well your partners get along, etc., etc.
 

Inyourendo

New member
We have a schedule.

We cosleep. I have a 4 and 1 year old. Usually nate and I have sex in the afternoon. When nate is away and Sam stays over he sleeps in the other room and the girls still sleep in my bed with each other
 
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Orangesmartie

New member
We're a triad (all involved with each other) and I don't live with the other two. We all like to sleep together. It feels very odd if someone is sleeping elsewhere (when we're apart, or got insomnia etc). In both our houses we have a standard double bed and a single bed pushed together to create an 8ft wide bed. That enables us all to be able to sleep together and still have enough sleeping room to be comfortable.
 

JustUs

Member
Thanks for all the answers to my question! It looks like everyone has some kind of arrangement, but it is designed for what works best in each situation. Currently we are looking for a new house that better fits our situation where everyone will be more comfortable as well as having space of their own. I think getting used to the new arrangements and us all living together will take time and kind of work itself out. But input from others is always good...never know when someone will post something that will make us say AHA! that's an idea we never thought of!
 

ButtercupGirl

New member
My hubby, boyfriend, and I all sleep together every night. We started that from the moment boyfriend moved in (okay, the moment we bought a king sized bed so we would all fit). I love it! I never get cold at night now! :)
 

Eclipse

New member
More often than not, I end up in the middle. At first the idea of sleeping every night between two beautiful women was almost bucket-list quality material. That ended in a BIG hurry, though...

I am probably the most heat temperamental of the three of us, I get overheated quick and need to get one or both legs out from under the blankets. Compound this with the problem that I'm irrationally claustrophobic, and it makes sleeping in the middle something that isn't always as enjoyable as it had on the surface.

also, Freckles moves around more in her sleep than anyone else I have ever seen in my life. She has the tendency to be a blanket stealer. Curls and I have woken up many a night to find that we have no blankets and Freckles is wrapped up like an armored, impenetrable burrito in the duvet. We have tried to solve this problem with multiple blankets.

No avail.

Now we wake up with our blankets on the floor beside the bed on Freckles' side and she's wrapped up and sleeping happily in hers. There are times we are convinced she's possessed by some sleep-depriving demon that only comes out when she's sound asleep.

If I am the last one to bed, I roll Curls into the middle of the bed. It's cool... she's a sound sleeper. Then I make sure that I'm laying on one edge of the blanket to discourage it from being stolen (not prevent, just discourage) before drifting off and trying to figure out the physics of exactly HOW Freckles somehow managed to kick me in her sleep when there is another human being in between us.

Obviously... our sleeping arrangements still have a few kinks that need to be worked out.
 

SchrodingersCat

Active member
OMG Gralson is such a blanket stealer. He'll deny it to the end of days, but I have photos to prove it. He doesn't end up cocooned so much as tangled.

He falls asleep watching youtube. He complained when he found a couple sunflower seed shells in bed. Try waking up with an over-the-ear earbud jabbed into your back. Lovely!

But, he keeps my feet warm and only exhibits moderate squeals when I shove ice cold fingers under his belly.
 

Dracosangel

New member
Sexy, just wanted to say that my Fiance and I have had a third person with us and yes we slept in the same bed..that is the way we like it so it is really a matter of opinion with the couples as we are like you and your husband looking for that perfect woman that wants to share what we have to offer as well in our relationship and being a submissive dosent hurt either:p
 

Orangesmartie

New member
I guess by definitions here, I am a unicorn. The way we look at it is we have a relationship that contains three of us, two of us are married. Could talk endlessly around how we make things work, how we deal with things when they don't work and how we try to match expectations. but guess that isn't the question here.

We've been together for two years on 2nd August, but known each other for about 12 years and been very good friends for all that time. We joke that we've 'dated' for 10 years before we got into bed. I can't say our sex/romantic relationship developed naturally out of our friendship. There was a very conscious line in the sand that we crossed at that point. However, I/we do feel that our relationships have evolved to the point they are at now and we do work on them. However, i do think the fact we were friends first and have similar beliefs/ideologies is the main reason our relationship works. They did not go out looking for me to 'fit into their relationship'.

For sleeping arrangements, pretty much as soon as we got together we've all wanted to sleep together. However, we all also like to have our own space to sleep. so, we have pushed a single bed and a double bed together to create an 8ft wide bed. We have one of these in both their house and at my house. When we stay at hotels, where possible we push the double and single together. If not possible, usually my male partner has the single bed, because he's driving, but if one person is ready to crash before the others, they take the single.

We have a double duvet and single duvet across our huge beds. this means we all get an edge of the duvet to fling off and round as required.

I currently live with my partners in their house (referred to as theirs to distinguish for the purposes of this post - we normally refer to both houses as 'ours') for work (my house is 200 miles away). I work 4 days a week and leave the house very early in the morning, before either of them even have to be awake. For that reason, I sleep on one side of the bed. My male partner sleeps on the other side of the bed (for personal reasons) and my female partner in the middle. In either house, on nights where I do not have to get up in the morning, I sleep in the middle. There are rare occasions when my male partner will sleep in the middle, but they are few and far between. And there are some nights where we all just sleep where we fall ;)

I personally like sleeping with both of them and wouldn't now want to be in a separate room from them, however, we are not all squashed into one double bed, which would be a deal breaker for me. We each have just short of 3ft of space to sleep in.
 

JaneQSmythe

Active member
King size bed...but I take up most of it (and I am the smallest of us:rolleyes:).

If we sleep 3 to a bed then I get the middle. If we sleep 4 to a bed then Me and Dude get the middle. 5 to a bed is crowded...so I would sleep across the bottom or upside down.

MrS always gets his edge of the bed and always sleeps next to me...the remainder of the description is an exercise in logic...:p
 

peabean

New member
I can't say my husband and I were ever 'looking for that perfect woman'. We both essentially fell in love with one of our friends, and she fell in love with each of us. We had no notion of polyamory, so unicorn hunting wasn't something we ever did. In fact, we never did any swinging or anything like that. Our triad just kind of happened.

When I went back and read this thread I realized how old it is! We have been living together for over two years now. At the end of last year we all made a move together across the country. In both the houses that we (all 3) have lived in, we've had three bedrooms, but we've never actually used the spare bedroom (the other room is for our child). We still all sleep together every night, and I don't see that ever changing. Our relationship is easy...we're kind of like an old married couple, or thruple (except I hate that word!!)
 

InsaneMystic

New member
I'm simply not having any, lol. :D Keeping my bed to myself, too.

R. is handling it with other partners she's with (be they casual or otherwise) the way she sees fit - it's not really any of my business.
 

polypie

New member
:)

Haha I have to laugh because I understand :) its not for everyone, but we sleep in separate rooms...sometimes we start in the same room...but we always end up in our "own rooms"..
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Staff member
Three people, two beds (in two bedrooms). I usually sleep alone nowadays because my snoring keeps Snowbunny awake. Which is fine, really. Sleeping alone might have bothered me years ago but it doesn't bother me today. Actually having the bed to myself is rather convenient.
 

PolyinPractice

New member
I always slept in his bed, when I was at his place. She would've been pissed if I slept in her bed...

I always felt weird that he and she had separate bedrooms, and very clearly did NOT sleep together ever, but felt it wasn't my place to question it...
 

DarthJMM

New member
we tried it two nights with wifey in the middle and me in the middle. Doesn't work for us, even with a king bed. Wife and Wifey are both big girls, so room in the bed is a big problem for sleeping. We do share the bed for snuggling and sex, but sleeping is limited to two in a bed at a time.
 

swirl

New member
Our sleeping arrangements


Im a black Canadian woman curvy and good natured , except for sleep when I'm tired , so my Hubby Mr A , and my other significant other Mr J decided to buy me = us , 3 twin extra long serta icomfort Adjustable cool gel beds , only problem now is , I'm in the middle between mr A and mr J , and every time I have to go pee or want a snack etc , I have to get off at the end of the bed and trust you me it aint easy with either side so right there. Even being adjustable they never made them that you get off the end of the bed lol, We dont have separate rooms , all sleep in same room , our beds are attached , and we had a custom bed cover made so it looks like one very big bed , remove that cover , I decorate so colour coordinated duvets , one is for summer , and others for winter. This for me has all but eliminated my heat problems , as mr A throws off so much body heat , we started sleeping separate bed covers years ago lol. Me now I get a very comfortable sleep and I don't disturb my guys . And I am a constant fidget and I'm up till the sun comes up , and they sleep earlier than me , and I sleep in later . That said we decided on the 3 adjustable beds for several reasons , I need two back surgery and I have arthritic knees , and we all wanted the cool gel bed serta created , it keeps the body temperature cooled , especially when 3 in bed , we can roll either way on to each others beds , as there is no spring on the edge.
Also I would like to add that these adjustable beds are fun for dick dick and Jane lol.Also if you don't know what liberator is , you should go to the web page , and look at the bed throws , these are fancy blankets , to the uninitiated , they look beautiful come a great variety of colours and a faux fur but they are unique in that they are squirt proof , sperm proof , and ye water proof too, and easy to clean by just throwing them in the washer! They are amazing to say the least of their fabulousity but you can co ordinate your colours to any room scheme. So thats liberator.com and we own lots of their furniture all designed with sex in mind... but if sleeps an issue do get 3 twins side by side,only fr my experience only ,but if u can buy memory foams or truly I recommend the Serta IComfort Absolute Awesomness go to serta read the techs
Hope some enjoyed this...
Swirl
 

swirl

New member
heehee

You had me at "black and curvy" lol. :D

But seriously your post actually made me think about some other things regarding poly and gender...interesting.

Nuff said. Good endorsement for the Serta product, though! :cool:

yep gorgy buxom canadian caramel i get told in colour lol HI
 
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