Ellamenopea
Member
Backstory: I married Steel nine months after I set eyes on him. It was textbook love at first sight, for both of us. We have been together for almost seventeen years . We have two beautiful children, lots of awesome pets and a huge circle of friends, both mutual and individual. Steel is without a doubt my soulmate. He makes me laugh every single day, he is gorgeous, intelligent, an excellent Father, a wonderful provider, kind, gentle, sexy, I could go on with Adjectives all day- suffice it to say- I REALLY love this man.
I was a wild teenager. I had plenty of boyfriends (and a couple of girlfriends for good measure!) but never could stay true for long. If things were safe, and happy, I was restless. My Mom used to say I lived for tumult. Some call it a drama queen? Status-quo did not suit me.
All I ever wanted was the white picket fence in a nice suburb with the dutiful corporate husband. I got it. So why was I itching for more? Why was it NOT enough when it’s all I ever wanted? A question for my future therapist, I suppose.
Fast forward ten years into marriage. We were ridiculously happy, sexually active, living the proverbial American Dream. I went to Las Vegas with my college friends. I met a man. I cheated. I told Steel as soon as I got home. He was understandably devastated. As horrible and guilt ridden as I felt, I still didn’t regret it. I loved the feeling of having my cake and eating it, too. Selfish? Absolutely. I own it.
After months of therapy and working through it, we were stronger than ever. Yet, each day, when I lay my head down, I was missing something. PTA meetings, soccer games, mini-van taxi cab, kids’ orthodontist appointments, it was just not giving me a sense of fulfillment.
I approached Steel about going to a local lifestyle club. He agreed. You can write the script of what happened next. In the course of a year, we evolved from same room swap, to separate rooms, to single play to me deciding that while sex with strangers was hot, it was not giving me exactly what I was missing. We also realized that someone was always taking one for the team- 'ok ok, I’ll sleep with the ugly husband so you can bang the hot wife.'
Welcome Poly. It was five years ago that we finally realized that it was exactly what we wanted. At first I thought it was what I wanted- but Steel did a lot of reading and research and realized he felt very comfortable with what he was reading. He said it all clicked for him.
The following three years were filled with lots of newbie mistakes (Extreme NRE, dating cheaters, a lot of don’t ask don’t tell- basically everything Poly101 warns against.)
Then one day, eighteen months ago, I met Sarge. He was in an established polyamorous marriage, and I fell HARD and fast.
I was a wild teenager. I had plenty of boyfriends (and a couple of girlfriends for good measure!) but never could stay true for long. If things were safe, and happy, I was restless. My Mom used to say I lived for tumult. Some call it a drama queen? Status-quo did not suit me.
All I ever wanted was the white picket fence in a nice suburb with the dutiful corporate husband. I got it. So why was I itching for more? Why was it NOT enough when it’s all I ever wanted? A question for my future therapist, I suppose.
Fast forward ten years into marriage. We were ridiculously happy, sexually active, living the proverbial American Dream. I went to Las Vegas with my college friends. I met a man. I cheated. I told Steel as soon as I got home. He was understandably devastated. As horrible and guilt ridden as I felt, I still didn’t regret it. I loved the feeling of having my cake and eating it, too. Selfish? Absolutely. I own it.
After months of therapy and working through it, we were stronger than ever. Yet, each day, when I lay my head down, I was missing something. PTA meetings, soccer games, mini-van taxi cab, kids’ orthodontist appointments, it was just not giving me a sense of fulfillment.
I approached Steel about going to a local lifestyle club. He agreed. You can write the script of what happened next. In the course of a year, we evolved from same room swap, to separate rooms, to single play to me deciding that while sex with strangers was hot, it was not giving me exactly what I was missing. We also realized that someone was always taking one for the team- 'ok ok, I’ll sleep with the ugly husband so you can bang the hot wife.'
Welcome Poly. It was five years ago that we finally realized that it was exactly what we wanted. At first I thought it was what I wanted- but Steel did a lot of reading and research and realized he felt very comfortable with what he was reading. He said it all clicked for him.
The following three years were filled with lots of newbie mistakes (Extreme NRE, dating cheaters, a lot of don’t ask don’t tell- basically everything Poly101 warns against.)
Then one day, eighteen months ago, I met Sarge. He was in an established polyamorous marriage, and I fell HARD and fast.