Story of Elle

Thanks, Spork. Yeah, I have also heard Depo horror stories. I believe Freckles is seeing if she can have an IUD placed instead. Steel is a hot name, right? I call him that because he is my Superman- man of Steel.

The vasectomy is really no big deal. The Doc that does them here is no pain no needle. Literally 15 mins in and out, with zero recovery time. Steel made the call this morning and scheduled the time, on his own, so he is on board.

Laney did ask him last night if they can still have protected sex until his appointment (next Friday.) He asked if she'd be willing to abort in the case of accidental pregnancy during that time. She said no. So there was her answer.

I am usually one to see the best in people, but I feel like now that she knows that i'd divorce him if she got pregnant, that *maybe* she'd use that to her advantage? I know how sinister it sounds, and I am making her out to be a villain, when she's actually quite sweet, but all I see is a Cowgirl riding in. So he can do anything but, and if he needs some good old fashioned PIV sex, he has me.

Heading to Sarge's city for dinner tonight. We have given up the midweek meetings mostly, because the traffic for him heading North is a DISASTER after 4pm, and while I can head South with no traffic, driving two hours round trip for dinner and some kisses was growing old. But, he is coming here Saturday, and with all the Freckles, CPK, and Laney bullshit happening, I really just need to touch him and feel his love. He has assured me that no matter WHAT happens with Freckles and CPK, he loves me, and is not going anywhere, I need to feel his arms around me to concrete that in my brain.
 

Spork

New member
It's a tough spot to be in I think. Sometimes there is a good person, and you like them, and you want to be easy with everything and give them the benefit of the doubt and all, but even so, they've got some deeply rooted elements that make it difficult. And in some other kind of a situation, maybe there would be nothing wrong with how she may be feeling, but it sounds to me like she isn't used to doing this sort of thing. Maybe it's hard for her to be with your husband and still respect you and your strength of place. Or maybe she just has that whole escalator ideology so ingrained that she doesn't know how else to relationship, and it's confusing to her.

Anyhow I like how you are managing things between you and Steel in ways that don't have to become a source of conflict between you and her.

Happy for you that you're getting your Sarge time on. I hope that you get all the loving reassurance and recharging of your emotional batteries that you need!
 
I don't even know where to start.

Laney and Steel are still doing well. She has definitely calmed down and gotten into a better groove. Steel got neutered on Friday afternoon ( the Dr. let me watch the whole thing- so cool!) so the twelve week countdown is on!

Steel and I are strong as rock- happy, communicating, co-parenting, dealing with house renovations and in love.

A week ago today, Freckles texted me and asked me to come over after Sarge got off work- she needed to speak to us.

I of course drove down and met them at their house. She sat us down. She asked him for a divorce. CPK was not budging on his choice, and Freckles chose CPK over Sarge. She claims that even if CPK were not in the picture, she still doesn't see herself with Sarge in twenty years. Sarge was very upset ( naturally.) He asked her to leave, and she grabbed a pre-packed bag and did just that. I stayed with him that night, and held him as he cried, and pondered where the last twelve years of his life had gone.

He is still not ready to speak to her, so I am the temporary mediator between them. The junior Sarge's are staying with Sarge in the house, while Freckles has moved into CPK's house. Sarge takes them to school, Freckles picks them up, feeds them dinner, helps with homework, then leaves the house as soon as Sarge walks in. The plan is to keep things this way for six full months- at that time, emotions should settle enough for them to be able to speak without accusations and so much anger. Their house will have to be sold, and Sarge will have to find a place.

I immediately activated into my type A mode and basically took over. I was with Sarge Monday, Weds, Fri, and Sat nights. Freckles came over on Saturday and Sarge took the juniors for haircuts and shopping. She took 90% of her personal things, and we went room by room so she could tell me what she wanted to keep. She is being very pragmatic about it. She knows this is her " fault" ( though I think fault is a tough word) and is willing to do whatever she has to, in order to make this all easier on Sarge and the Juniors.

After she left and Sarge came back, we started cleaning up and OUT. My community is having it's yearly yard sale on Saturday, and my SUV was PACKED to the gills. We made Sell, donate and toss piles. We got a lot done, and Sarge said it's therapeutic for him to purge. Purge we did. By the time I left on Sunday night, there was little to no trace that Freckles ever lived in the house. There is still a lot to do (we only got the bedroom, kitchen and guest room done.) But we have time before the house has to be listed for sale. At least we made a start. Sarge is doing a little better each day, and I am just supporting him, being what he needs me to be at any given moment, and assuring him that I love him and he's not alone. Steel has been so understanding, not making me feel bad for being gone, and really stepping up to parent our dumplings.

It's going to be a long process for Sarge, and Freckles, but they will get through it. I care about them both and will be as helpful as I can be.

We took a break from cleaning yesterday to run to Target and lunch. Little Junior (6) said " Elle, are you going to leave when we get home?" I said "A little bit after, buddy." He said "Ok, good, then Mommy can come home." My heart broke into a million pieces. I looked at Sarge and said " They need to know." I sent Freckles a text and asked her to come to the house. She did, and they sat the boys down and told them that Mommy was going to be living with CPK from now on, but that she would still see them every day after school, and on the weekends, and that her and Daddy weren't going to be together anymore. Junior 11 freaked out, crying, etc. Junior 6 asked if he could play on my iphone now.

They are all going to get into therapy ASAP. The Sheriff's department has an employee assistance program, so they get free visits. It's something Sarge is going to take control of immediately.

So, it's been a week today and I think Sarge is doing a hell of a lot better than I would be doing. I'd still be in bed crying. He is smiling at times, laughing at funny things, and just doing what he needs to do to start making progress. He is an excellent Father, and is going to assume primary custody of the boys. I will be here for him as long as he wants me.

He sent me a text last night saying " I love you, and I wouldn't be able to do this without you." It melted my heart. Where else would I be?

Sigh.......
 

Spork

New member
Wow, that is huge. Kudos to you for being so solid and good for everyone during such a time, and I'm tremendously glad that you have Steel's support and understanding, too.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Sorry to hear Sarge and Freckles are splitting. Obviously you have been a great support during this difficult time.
 
Tuesday, I got a text from Freckles. Pink is pregnant. CPK told her. She told me. She is far enough along that it only makes mathematical sense that A: The baby is not CPK's, or B: He's been seeing PINK behind Freckles back all along.

A few texts to CPK (With whom I have a friendly,honest relationship with) confirmed that it's the latter.

Freckles asked him what this meant for them- his reply set the wheels in motion for the single most emotionally and physically taxing week I have lived.

" I am going to marry her and raise our baby."

Apparently, CPK never stopped seeing Pink, and is in love with her. He "thought" giving Freckles the ultimatum of being with him or Sarge would end with her picking Sarge, and he'd be in the clear. He was dead wrong. When Freckles showed up on his doorstep that Monday night two weeks ago, when she asked Sarge for a divorce, CPK was as shocked as everyone.

Freckles. Lost. Her. Shit.

She had just walked away from Sarge, moved into CPK's house, and here she was being told she basically had to move out. Long story short, Tuesday night, Freckles checked herself in, voluntarily for mental health counseling.

I went down to their house on Wednesday, and Freckles' parents came over. Her Mom and I went to CPK's house, and packed all of Freckles' things up, and took two trips bringing it all back to the home she owns with Sarge.

We moved her into the guest room. Sarge absolutely refuses to allow her back into the master bedroom, and states the marriage is officially over. He is no longer sad about what happened, he is happy that she gave him the gift of asking for a divorce. I am trying very hard to remain neutral, because I care about them both. And I love their children. I can see where Sarge is coming from. Freckles is back out of necessity, not desire. So for now, the plan is for them to exist as roommates only, until the debt is paid off and they can financially live apart.

I think Freckles hopes the marriage can be saved. They have over twelve years invested in each other. Sarge on the other hand, is extremely insistent that there is nothing to save. Maybe time will change that, who knows. All I know is that I will support them through any decision they make. I " offered" to both of them, my absence. They both vehemently declined.

Freckles was released Friday morning, to the hands of outpatient counseling, and returned to the house. Sarge came to my house directly after work on Friday, as Freckles' Mother agreed to spend the weekend with her. She and her Mom got her stuff all unpacked and got her settled into the guest room. I can't imagine that feeling- being a visitor in your own home. Freckles feels embarrassed, and is deeply hurt by the turn of events with CPK.

Time will tell what happens next, but for now, she is extremely depressed, having constant anxiety attacks, and is on medical leave from her career. Sarge refuses to speak to her, and when he returned to the house last night, he went straight to his bedroom and basically locked himself him. I reminded him that by doing that, he is making himself a prisoner in his own home; but he does not want to speak to her. I can't force him. All I can do is be a support system for both of them, and be what they each need, as the need arises.

Saturday morning Sarge and I did my community yard sale and got rid of ALL of the things. He made a ton of money, and used most of it to buy his Mother a plane ticket to come visit for two weeks next month. After the yard sale, Steel and Laney came home (after spending the night in a hotel in the city where his gig was.) We all took my dumplings for a late lunch, and Laney angered me....again........

To be continued.....
 

Spork

New member
Oh man...

Regarding the "guest in your own home" situation with Freckles, I want to share a bit of advice.

Because I just got done doing that, for about a year, in my ex's house (well technically it's mine too, but I don't really want it, so it's "his.")

This is going to sound like unimportant stuff, but I strongly suggest this...

Even though this whole thing is supposed to be temporary, get Freckles to decorate the room she is in. Hang stuff on the walls. Stuff that reminds her of HER OWN identity. Encourage Sarge to do same to the Master Bedroom if he hasn't already.

This is a form of self-comfort. Without it, you feel a.) like an unloved second class citizen in the space (marginalized) and b.) like you're in a hotel or something, homeless.

And make sure that there is a TV in her room. The basic purpose of this is to allow her to set up some background noise. It helps alleviate feelings of loneliness in a space like that, and is a good little distraction from uncomfortable thoughts. If it's possible to get her into a new show that she can binge watch a whole bunch of for a while, I actually found that really helpful. (For me it was Game of Thrones.)

I know it probably sounds dumb to focus on decorations and TVs when big life changes are afoot and everyone is in shock, but those things made the biggest difference in my comfort levels coping with living with my ex. Everything else in that house could go right to hell but I had my space and it was GOOD. It was comfortable and safe and mine. And taking down my stuff from the walls when I moved out, really didn't take that long.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Sorry to hear how crappy things are.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Sorry for the lies (CPK) and the rash decisions (Freckles and Sarge). Good luck to all of you through this very awkward transition! Lots of depression, anxiety, and anger. Glad Freckles is getting mental health assistance. So rotten of CPK to have cheated on her and gotten Pink pregnant while doing so. Good Lord.
 
Thank you, Spork. Yes, I did insist that Sarge get the cable box in her "room" set up and she and her Mom spent the weekend making the room hers.

Mag: It is a HUGE mess. I couldn't make this up if I tried.


So....lunch. Steel took his car with Laney and the dumplings, and Sarge and I went in mine.

We all sat at lunch, Laney and Steel next to each other, Sarge and I next to each other. Each with a dumpling at the end. Steel and I were across from each other. Laney was VERY hands on- to the point of me being uncomfortable. At one point, Steel reached across the table to hold my hand, and she immediately started rubbing his back. I let it go. Because I am the peacekeeper. It just felt like watching a dog pee on a tree. I figured she was just overwhelmed with acceptance that she figured it was appropriate. Spoiler alert: I'll explain later in the story that she was indeed peeing on my tree.

Sarge and I are very touchy feely. But out of respect for Steel, and the general public ( I am not one for too much PDA) we are very casual while around others. An arm rub, holding hands as we walk, a random closed mouth kiss, etc.

Anyway, during lunch, my daughter got very anxious ( she has a myriad of neurological issues, sensory over-load being one of them.) I told her to put her headphones on and listen to her music. She was being a typical teenager and didn't want to. I told her if she chose to not listen to her music, then she was going to have to deal with the noises of the restaurant. Laney piped up and asked me if I had watched the video she had posted on Social Media earlier in the day about how difficult a crowded, noisy place can be for someone with Sensory issues. She advised I " cut my daughter some slack, and understand where she is coming from." I just looked at her,wondering if I heard her correctly. Sarge squeezed my leg in a "Let it go." fashion.

When we went to leave, Steel and Laney were taking the dumplings to the pet store and Game Stop, and Sarge and I were heading to my house. Steel grabbed my hand, and we walked ahead of the group, as we were discussing the plans for the rest of the weekend. We kissed goodbye and went our own ways.

Sarge and I got back to my house, he helped me clean up a bit and I packed a bag. We had made reservations at a nice hotel an hour away for the night. Laney stayed at the house with Steel that night.

Sarge and I made the trip and checked into the hotel. We had a wonderful, loving, sexy, night. We woke up early Sunday morning, and went down for Breakfast. Steel brought our dumplings over around 11, and we all spent the day lounging by the hotel pool, having cocktails and appetizers and just relaxing. It was THE BEST Mother's day I could have asked for. It was also Sarge's Birthday! At one point, my younger dumpling told the poolside waiter that today was Sarge's birthday, an hour later, several staff from the hotel came over with a cupcake and candles and we all sang him Happy Birthday. At one point, I was holding the hands of both of the men I love, watching my children splash and play. It was heaven.


Sarge had to head home around 3, as he hadn't seen his Junior's since Friday Morning. We kissed goodbye at the hotel valet and away he went. Steel and I got the dumplings changed, and we headed out for a very elegant Mother's Day dinner of wings and fries!

When we arrived home, Steel told me that on Friday night, after his performance, Laney was acting "pissy." He asked her what was wrong. She said she was very uncomfortable with how flirty he was with his fans and the crew of the venue where he performed. He has been performing at this venue for many years, and knows many of the crew very well. He hugs and flirts- it's his personality. He also is very flirty with his fans, always has been. Evidenty, it bothered Laney. A lot. It was then I realized that him showing me affection in front of her bothered her as well. He said he told her too bad, so sad. Time will tell, but I think he's growing bored with the constant drama she brings.


Sarge got home, walked right past Freckles and locked himself in the Master.
They were both texting me from behind their closed doors. It's a mess. I love them both. She is hoping one day he will come around, he is insistent that it's over. The good news is, last night, he told me they did speak about some household things, so at least there is progress being made.

CPK texted a few times asking me how she was- I told him he doesn't get to know. Freckles is still a mess, and trying to go day by day. Tomorrow is the first Dr's appointment for Pink! I wouldn't be shocked if she's really NOT pregnant- she's that kind of girl- Oh the mess it will be if she isn't!

Today is MY birthday, and Sarge and I leave on Weds for a three day cruise! I cannot WAIT to have him all to myself for three days, AND be off the grid! I am hoping the sea air and relaxing days will help bring him some clarity. Freckles' Mom will be at their house with Freckles and the Juniors, while we are gone.


These are the Days of Our Lives..........
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
I hope you have a wonderful birthday in any case.
 
Thank you, Kevin!
 
Sarge and I left on our cruise and had a WONDERFUL time. I knew I loved him, but after three uninterrupted, relaxing nights together, I REALLY love him. We were in a 200 SQ ft cabin, and did not have ONE second of tension. We dined in the steakhouses, slept late, took multiple naps, had mind blowing sex, ate WAY too much, napped in the sun, sat at the pool, had some great, deep, soul touching talks, and just existed. I will admit that I put his love to the REAL test on the second night. Something I ate did not agree with my stomach, and while laying in bed, I let go of the single foulest fart I have ever produced in 41 years. It was the first time I ever farted in front of him, so to have it be so noxious was beyond cringe worthy. I yelled at him to save himself, and run, but he stayed. And we laughed. I mean LAUGHED. We were doubled over in laughter, it was SO bad. If I had been on land, I likely would have sought medical attention, I cannot stress to you enough, dear reader, how bad this was. We left for our 8th meal of the day not too long after, and when we returned the cabin 2 hours later, it was STILL there. Sarge was still very loving and attentive after it, so I guess he passed the ultimate test of love. We returned to land happily in love and both basking in the afterglow of a glorious weekend.

Freckles is hanging in. She is still in the guest room, and seeing outpatient therapy- CPK is off the radar- they are no contact, and some social medial stalking shows that he and Pink are living together and happy as clams. Sarge is at least being civil to her, and they do speak, very casually, but he's not treating her like a cancer- and that's good, because I wouldn't be with him if he did- she is the Mom of his children, and they have a lot of history- I don't do well with men who act like douche bags.

Steel spent the weekend with Laney and our dumplings, and he had a heart to heart with her about her expectations, making him feel guilty all the time, her passive aggressive statements, and the fact that he was NOT willing to stop showing me affection in her presence just because it made her feel uncomfortable. ( We are not talking anything more than an occasional hand hold or peck on the lips.) She once again, promised she'd do better. By this afternoon, she'd lost it again, and was being passive aggressive over lunch plans. He ended it. She's very upset. He feels like a jerk. It's a mess. I hate to say I told you so.....

Steel is such a chill guy, so to have her constantly bringing drama in, was a huge change for him. I have never been much a of a drama queen, he wasn't prepared for it. The bottom line is, she is a mono person, who was trying the poly world, and it just plain didn't work. I'm sad for them both, I know Steel will now go through a period of "Woah is me." The good news is, he still speaks to Dimples, so at least he has someone other than me to process with.

So, onwards and upwards. I'll see Sarge on Saturday night, he's bringing his Junior 11 over for a sleepover with my Dumpling 11. I'm excited for that!
 
I ended up with a surprise Sarge day! On Thursday, Junior11 had a medical appointment with a specialist only 20 mins from my house. Freckles woke up ill, and asked Sarge to bring him instead. He took the day off work and did just that. After the appointment, he and Junior11 came to my house. We all went for lunch then hung out for a few hours. It was a nice midweek surprise.

He was supposed to come here tonight for a slumber party with the boys, but got a migraine while on duty today and begged off for tonight. Steel has been away since Thursday morning, so I am pretty lonely and longing for physical touch. I'll be ok. This is the first time Sarge has ever canceled on me. Due to his work schedule and my dumplings assorted activities, I won't see him again until next Sunday. That will be 10 days without seeing each other. It will be the longest weve ever been apart. Thank Goodness we had Thursday, or by next weekend, I'd likely be insane. I love NRE, but I do wish it would chill a bit.

Laney is off the radar. Given her past, I am honestly shocked, and pleased, that she hasn't reached out and tried to continue the drama. Steel is doing fine with it. He said he feels relief.
 
Finally!!! It's Sarge day!

I do not know how I got through the last 10 days without seeing him, but I did it. I'm actually thankful that I had a really terrible cold/flu that kept me in bed most of the workweek. It made the time not feel so ominous.

I am going to get off my butt in a minute and get ready to head down to his city. I have no idea what he has planned for the day, but I was asked to wear a skirt.... Tonight we are checking into a very nice historic hotel near his city, and having dinner. That's all I know. I love/hate surprises.

Steel is going through what I figured he would...woah is me. He started chatting with a lady he matched with on Tinder, but doesn't "see" anything materializing.

He told me last night that he texted Laney. Just seeing how she was. That evidently now means they are having dinner on Tuesday night. I have recused myself from their relationship at this point. He's a grown man, he needs to make his own decisions. We do not have a power of veto relationship, or I can assure you, I'd be using it. The closest thing I can do is stand by my feelings- which was to ask Steel to limit the amount of exposure I have to Laney and their relationship, should it resume. No more telling me their conversations, sharing stories of drama, etc. I just can't handle it. I'm likely jealous, and out of the cockpit, but I just don't "see" her being right for poly- but, it's not MY relationship. This does not mean we are becoming don't ask, don't tell, just that I no longer wish for him to give me a daily update on their status. Just tell me when you'll be home, let me know you're safe and happy, don't catch the Clap.

Freckles is slowly emerging from her funk. I am told things are civil at Casa Sarge. Not exactly friendly, but they are co-existing well enough to be good parents, and keep up on household chores. I still am in awe over how the whole CPK/Pink/Freckles situation unfolded. What a mess.
 
Been a minute since I have updated. I'm not even sure anyone is reading this, but I do it for me anyway. It's nice to be able to go back and see how I felt at any given moment.

Steel: Seeing Laney. Again. Same shit, different day. I have pretty much resigned myself to a DADT, because I know she'd prefer if I just didn't exist. Steel puts up with her continued drama and assorted other idiosyncracies for some unknown reason. It's on him. He has unblended us for the time being. It's a far cry from the kitchen table poly that I desire to have, but again, not my circus, not my Monkeys. The only time I have been forced to interact with her was when I came home earlier than expected last Sunday. I texted, called and even texted one of my dumplings to say I was on my way home. No one answered me. What else could I have done? Sent a neighbor over to alert them?

When I came in, she was TAKING A BUBBLE BATH in my garden tub. Like a fucking pillow princess. Fine. She heard I was home, so she got out(from behind MY closed bedroom door) and came to greet me like a normal metamour. AS if!! She stayed in there for another thirty minutes- sending Steel a text from behind the door asking him to please "come talk" to her. So I was feeling very out of place in my own home. To make matters worse, once she DID wrap up her spa day, and headed for home, I went in to find her wet towel thrown on my floor. I. LOST. MY. SHIT.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable. I have spent 17 years building a relationship, working my ass off, supporting Steel as he worked his off, so we could have a nice marriage and nice things. To see her towel laying there like a wet lump was such a slap in the face!

She refuses to allow Steel at her home, he's never even seen it. She claims she is ashamed, because we are " wealthy and have nice things." and she is "poor and not a neat person." So all time they spend together, is out, or ay my home.

Damn, she annoys the ever loving snot out of me. Steel keeps telling to say the word, and he's done. I'm not sure if he WANTS me to be the reason he ends it, or if he's testing me, or what he's doing, but I do know that if Dimples were to move here tomorrow, Laney would be old news- Which leads me to believe, at this point, he is putting up with her for the sole purpose of having a place to get his dick wet.


Sarge is wonderful. He gets more wonderful with each day. He is always coming up with new and exciting adventures for us to go on, and finding adorable ways to confess his never-dying love for me. Last weekend, he took me to a shooting range. I have never HELD a gun before. He didn't like that I was so uncomfortable around them. Not that he expects me to become an NRA member, but being in law enforcement, and prior military, he has a respect for guns, and wanted me to have that too. I did AWESOME! Shot at 55 yards, and hit bullseye more than once. He now calls me "Dead eye Elle!"

Freckles is in and out of depression. Still reeling from her drama, not able to pull herself up by the boot straps and see that CPK played her dirty. Turns out, as suspected, that Pink! is not and never WAS pregnant. But, CPK is staying with her. Freckles and he are dead in the water.

I got to meet Mama Sarge this week, she flew down for two weeks. She was lovely, and kept telling me how much she appreciated how much I love her Son. My absolute pleasure!

Tonight, Sarge, Mama Sarge and I are having dinner, then going to see Steel in a local gig he has. Mama Sarge is a fan of the genre of music Steel perfoms, so she is very excited for the show, and to meet my husband.

I'll stay the night at Casa Sarge, and tomorrow, we three will find some kind of trouble. Mayeb head to the beach? Maybe a flea market?

I am in LOVE. With TWO wonderful, sexy men.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Hi Elle, don't worry I am still reading here. ;)

Sorry Laney is acting like such a jerk.
 
I'm enjoying your blog as well! And I would be livid about the towel thing! Who even does that in their own home let alone when a guest in someone else's?!
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
You have a right to tell your husband Laney is no longer welcome in your home, you know. She doesn't have a god given right to use your "nice things." Ugh, gross.

If Steel wants to get his dick wet, he can do it in her messy crappy apartment. There is no reason in hell she gets to use the home you worked for as a spa getaway. Fuck that shit.
 
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