The 3 of us scaling this pyramid

Thegirlsthisguy

New member
Hi all! We are a mff poly relationship. 2 of us have been in a LTR, the third or us coming in just under 6 mo ago. We are all trying to navigate our relationship to the best of our abilities, and have come here looking for ways and ideas to make it strong, stable and lasting. Our f partner and I are very close, though her and I do not share a sexual relationship. We are essentially sister wives. Our m partner is still trying to find a good foothold to be able to juggle two very sexual females, work, and just life. Our f partner and I recently ordered the Ethical Slut, so we can read even more than my very thirsty brain has already researched, in an attempt to help us all. Help and a supportive community has been a miracle to find. We want to make this as easy as possible for us all. Any and all suggestions on articles, books, even what has worked for you are all welcome.
 

kdt26417

Official Greeter
Greetings Thegirlsthisguy,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

It sounds like the three of you are off to a good start; here are some suggestions on articles, books, and such:
Also you can read (the first few posts of) my blog, and ask me any questions you want. Explore this site in general, and see what calls to you. Post your thoughts and observations.

Glad to have you with us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Hi all! We are a mff poly relationship. 2 of us have been in a LTR, the third or us coming in just under 6 mo ago. We are all trying to navigate our relationship to the best of our abilities, and have come here looking for ways and ideas to make it strong, stable and lasting. Our f partner and I are very close, though her and I do not share a sexual relationship. We are essentially sister wives. Our m partner is still trying to find a good foothold to be able to juggle two very sexual females, work, and just life. Our f partner and I recently ordered the Ethical Slut, so we can read even more than my very thirsty brain has already researched, in an attempt to help us all. Help and a supportive community has been a miracle to find. We want to make this as easy as possible for us all. Any and all suggestions on articles, books, even what has worked for you are all welcome.
My suggestion is to not think of this as "one" relationship. In a triad, there are several relationships, in your case, thus:

You + F
M + F
M + You
F + You + M

Each dyad, even if nonsexual, needs to be nurtured separately. You need time carved out to hang out one-on-one, as well as spending time together as a threesome.

It's very important, if you live together, for each adult to have his or her own space, a bedroom or an office/studio. Everyone needs "me-time," as well as couple/triad time! Otherwise, you can start to get annoyed with each other.

You sound very enmeshed. You say "our" F partner, and things like that. It's fine to be individuals in a relationship. You're not a Star Trek Borg. "The most skipped step" article linked above addresses unhealthy entanglement, and how to disentangle for the health and longevity of the relationship(s).

It's up to each individual to satisfy themselves sexually. However, if your man can't keep up with your sexual appetites, he could buy you a nice vibrator. :) (Of course, you can buy one for yourself.) Or you could seek another partner (or two) to have sex with. I'm poly, but even when I had up to 3-4 partners at a time, I still masturbated regularly. People aren't sex toasters. You can't just expect toast any time you want.

If your man needs more alone time, or time for work, family, hobbies, other friends, etc., it's up to him to set aside time for all of that. Romantic relationships should not be all-consuming. If he doesn't have time in his week to fully take care of all the areas, something needs to go. Maybe he's not cut out for polyamory at this time in his life. Or maybe his gfs could be less demanding, and give him some space. He's just one guy.
 
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