The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)

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Feeling good, basically. Had yesterday and today off from work, which was sorely needed. I'd been feeling a bit run-down. I normally don't have two days off in a row during my regular work-week, so I was able to relax and get some things done.

Been conversing in emails with someone I met online at OKCupid. I had initiated contact with him there, and his replies have been really, really great. He's intelligent, good-looking, really witty, and non-monogamous. Today I told him I'd like to get together with him when he gets back from an upcoming trip. So, we'll see.

Also decided I am going to refinish the wood floors in my apartment. They really need an overhaul and I found a company that does it with a dustless, environmentally-friendly technique. Going to call them next week to get a quote.

Wish I had a few more days off from work, though. Not looking forward to tomorrow. One of the people that works there has been a total beeyotch to me.

Oh well, life goes on.
 
Got a date Saturday night. This guy I met at my friends work a couple years ago. I told her I liked him but she went after him and she kind of messed him up. Timing wasn't right for me either. He actually works for my company and we run into each other from time to time. Looking forward to it
 
Haven't been around for a while due to having had multiple surgeries in the last 3 weeks. I just got out of the hospital on Tuesday and am starting to feel more like myself - a tired and sore version, sure, but myself none the less. Unfortunately, they were unable to do my second surgery laparoscopicly, due to there being more centralized, severe scar tissue in my ileum than the CT scan showed. The good news was they had to remove less of my intestines than expected. Bad news is I have an incision that is much bigger/ uglier than I was prepared for. I go back to the doctor in a week. Hopefully by then I'll be feeling better about it all.
 
Glad to see you posting here again, BrigidsDaughter, and glad you are up and around again after having surgery. I hope everything goes well with your recovery and any more procedures you might need.


I had a phone convo last night with this guy I've been messaging on OKC for about two weeks. We spoke for a little over an hour. There was a little initial awkwardness, but we were both obviously enjoying talking to each other. We have tentative plans to meet up next Friday, after work. I get a good vibe from him, and am looking forward to meeting him, but I'm not letting myself get too excited or hopeful about it - you never really know until you meet them in person. But it's nice having a possibility come my way.

Since having re-enabled my OKCupid account, I am just floored by the number of stupid, shallow men who contact me with absolutely nothing of value to say. "Hi sweetheart, nice [insert physical attribute], love to get to know you." Yeah, right. And I guess the fact that so many women on the site have a policy of simply refusing to respond to any messages means that most of the quality men won't make contact first. They feel it's a waste of their time and effort, so will only engage with women who contact them first. So, the guy I'm meeting next week is someone I did contact first -- I wrote to compliment his profile as it is so very clever and entertaining -- and our correspondence has been really awesome, but it would be nice to be pursued by some intelligent men who at least have a clue rather than the 20% Match dumbasses that usually turn up in my Inbox. Sometimes doing the online dating thing is so draining and feels like a second job.

Had a snow day today, but going back to work tomorrow. Feeling okay. Not great, but okay is okay.
 
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Glad to hear you're dipping back into the online dating waters, NYCindie! I do miss your blog. Best of luck with everything.

I know what you mean about OKC being like having a second job. I closed my profile last fall because it was too much work to sort through all the dumb messages.
 
Well, my date with the last guy I wrote about in this thread bombed. No chemistry. He was perfectly nice and we stayed to have dinner after our first cocktails, because the convo seemed to be going well (he even picked up the dinner check), but I could not see myself with him.

However, I have two other prospects now! So that is exciting.
 
nycindie said:
Well, my date with the last guy I wrote about in this thread bombed. No chemistry. He was perfectly nice and we stayed to have dinner after our first cocktails, because the convo seemed to be going well (he even picked up the dinner check), but I could not see myself with him.

However, I have two other prospects now! So that is exciting.
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Sorry that guy didnt work out, Cindie. He sounded fun! Good luck with the next 2.
 
Magdlyn said:
Sorry that guy didnt work out, Cindie. He sounded fun! Good luck with the next 2.
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Thanks! About my two potentials:

One is someone from OKC. I recently changed my photos so that my face is obscured just as an experiment to see if anyone would write me if they can't fully see what I look like. This guy did, and we've had a few nice (but short) convos over this last week, but he lives a little bit outside the city. We haven't exchanged contact info yet, but I think we should do that soon (it has happened a few times that guys I start conversing with on OKC suddenly disappear off the site and we lose touch). He did say that he thinks I am different from most of the women on OKC and he already feels like he'd like to meet me. He told me, "poly works in my world." So, we'll see.

The other is a fix-up which probably won't happen until another few weeks. He just started a new job and met one of the women I work with through Match. They had a nice online friendship for a few months, never met in person, and then lost touch for a few months because she started seeing a few guys and he was unemployed and really needed to focus on finding work. After he landed the job, he contacted her again, but she is now in a serious mono relationship, so they just had lunch together to catch up as friends. She told me he is incredibly nice and very cute, and thinks he and I would hit it off. She asked me first, then asked him, and we are both interested! Once he feels a little more settled in at the new job, he told her he will stop by our workplace to see her, and meet me, then maybe all three of us will go out for drinks and/or dinner.

On another note, the other day, I ran into Dreamy near where I work! OMG, he is as hunky as he ever was! We had met on OKC when we were both freshly separated, and we dated (and fucked each other's brains out) for about 2 months or so. That was near the end of 2010 and into early 2011. Then his sister passed away, he started seeing a couple other women who lived closer to him, and he told me he just wanted to be friends. We've stayed in touch verrrry sporadically, but wow, it was great to see him. He kept saying, "This is a nice surprise," hugged me twice, and expressed wanting to have coffee or lunch with me sometime. I don't know what his relationship status is now - was a little afraid to ask - other than his divorce was finalized. He's a big bear of a man, and hot-hot-hot, but genuinely a nice person, so it would be nice to have him in my life in any form.

Okay, to stay on topic - how am I doing? Good! Lost 4 lbs on my first week back with Jenny Craig, spring is coming, the possibility of sex is in the air, la-di-da!
 
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Some days are better than others. After a great weekend, today has been rough. Mostly money issues, related to my medical bills eating up yet another paycheck and leaving us with not enough to cover the regular bills, since we couldn't punish the kiddo and skip Easter. Runic Wolf is out on a date with his girlfriend, but their date hit a snag when her car wouldn't start at work and they ended up waiting for roadside assistance instead of getting to enjoy their evening. I honestly don't know how much more I can take of all things Crohn's related. And the more stressed I get, the more my incision and surgery side of my stomach hurt. :(
 
So sorry to hear things have been so tough for you and stressing you out, BD. I hope it all improves quickly!
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As for me, I am feeling pretty good these days. It's been such a slow, long road to rebuild my life after my husband and I split up and my entire world came crashing down (emotionally, financially, etc.). Break-ups and other relationship issues with lovers after that had me feeling a bit out of control. I was eating rather than deal with all the stress I had going on. I'd let myself (and my apartment) go and was not happy with that.

So... over the last approximately 5 or 5-1/2 weeks,I've been making a serious effort to lose weight and eat more healthfully. And now there is 12 lbs less of me on the planet! People are noticing! My skin looks great, my clothing fits better, I feel lighter and more attractive, have more energy, and am no longer bloated with a big round belly that made me very unhappy! I have a lot more to lose before I get to my goal, but even losing just 12 lbs makes a huge difference in all these things -- and I'm enjoying challenging myself to do something that improves my life and well-being. I've also started clearing out the clutter in my living space, to create a more nurturing home environment. I feel like this is part of my recovery from my marriage ending - and I know my weight loss and the healthier paths I'm taking are not temporary.

So say hello to a happier-and-12-pounds-lighter nycindie.
 
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I am doing not awesome today. I broke up with a partner of three years purely because of being saturated. I started dating another person 5 months ago who has a lot more in common with me as a friend and a similar communication style and was just feeling too spread thin trying to make time for me among the dating, and he got the short end of the stick.

Besides my divorce, I haven't broken up with anybody for 20 years. I've never broken up with somebody for any reason that wasn't cheating/other shitty behavior. Breaking up with somebody awesome that I love because my priorities have shifted has so far been the worst thing about poly.

Thanks, I'm glad this thread is here, I just needed to say something about this.
 
Mischna iyayea

I am feeling torn and disappointed today.
Me and Dan, my partner of 6 years are doing quite well as he struggles to adjust his mono mind to my poly desires. Joe, the man that I just met and had been seeing for about 3 months -things are not doing so well.
While things are wonderful when Joe and I are together, he resides about 2 hours away from me and recently with a job change he has less and less time for us to talk on the phone between our in person dates.Besides his work, there is my job, my other relationship, his partners and other life aspects. Time is a scarce resource and a necessity. My feelings for him have evolved beyond what our current situation can fulfill and I fear that with our schedules the needs of the relationship just won't be met and I will need to stop seeing him.
Despite the numbers and prospect of residing in a large city, I have not been able to find someone that I bond with and (dare I say it) love like Joe. The prospect of parting ways is not something I look forward too.
 
We are doing good. Waking up and getting ourselves going. It's going to be a crummy weekend weather wise, but we aren't going to let it spoil our moods. :)
 
Had a movie night with Runic Wolf, Wendigo, and an old former FWB/ now just friend today. It was alot of fun and I got all the cuddles I could have wanted. Didn't get as much sexy times as I'd hoped with my loves, but a girl can't always have everything she wants, right?
 
Yesterday was my birthday, and I had to work but we had a good time. There was a cake and balloons for me, and I indulged although I'm on a diet. The boss always has cake when it's someone's b'day, but she also gave me a very thoughtful gift when we had some privacy. It's so different from other jobs I've had. I feel appreciated and encouraged here. Never had that in many places, nor in many decades, actually.

I was hoping to hear from certain people on my b'day, but didn't, so that was a bit of a bummer. Busy lives and they didn't remember, I suppose. I bought myself a nice sweater, and didn't think too much about it. I don't usually make too much of a big deal about birthdays, anyway.

This coming week some loose ends get tied up regarding my divorce. Weirdness. Also been corresponding with two guys on OKC, both of whom do not live in the city, but seem very nice and possibly worth a train ride. We'll see how it goes.

Have to get back on track with my weight loss plan. The last few days, I have been a little out of control and I regained a pound. Onward and downward!

I guess I'm feeling a little tired, and a little hopeful.
 
Breaking up

BrigidsDaughter said:
Had a movie night with Runic Wolf, Wendigo, and an old former FWB/ now just friend today. It was alot of fun and I got all the cuddles I could have wanted. Didn't get as much sexy times as I'd hoped with my loves, but a girl can't always have everything she wants, right?
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Heartbroken. :(

Wendigo ended our relationship last night, in part over a conversation that happened at the end of movie night after I wrote this. Runic Wolf joked that I might be up for a foursome and our friend seemed a little too eager. I was embarrassed and concerned that Wendigo might think that this was somehow planned or that I was in on it. He certainly didn't take it as a joke, he was offended that anyone would think that he'd be willing to share me with a perfect stranger (to him). He and Runic Wolf have been bashing head on and off for months about the nature of my relationship with Wendigo and he felt really disrespected in that situation. He doesn't see any way that we can move past this, because Runic Wolf has said he didn't think he could accept the dynamic our relationship had taken. So what is the point in trying to change Wendigo's mind? At least if I accept it, we have a chance to return to friends. And I would rather have his friendship than lose him completely.
 
Oh BD - this is sad to read. :( I hope that you guys can go on and be friends.

NYCIndie - good to hear nice stuff about your life. I hope that it continues to go so positively for you. :D

Things in my world are happy for the most part. I have a little anxiety for my partner. He has a cancer check up this week and is going through some terrible work related stress. I'm giving him lots of hugs and plenty of love. Hoping that life will become less stressful for him soon.
 
BrigidsDaughter said:
Heartbroken. :(

Wendigo ended our relationship last night, in part over a conversation that happened at the end of movie night after I wrote this. Runic Wolf joked that I might be up for a foursome and our friend seemed a little too eager. I was embarrassed and concerned that Wendigo might think that this was somehow planned or that I was in on it. He certainly didn't take it as a joke, he was offended that anyone would think that he'd be willing to share me with a perfect stranger (to him). He and Runic Wolf have been bashing head on and off for months about the nature of my relationship with Wendigo and he felt really disrespected in that situation. He doesn't see any way that we can move past this, because Runic Wolf has said he didn't think he could accept the dynamic our relationship had taken. So what is the point in trying to change Wendigo's mind? At least if I accept it, we have a chance to return to friends. And I would rather have his friendship than lose him completely.
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BD, I am so sorry to hear about this!
 
Thank you, Mags. I've actually been chatting with Wendigo a little today, which makes me feel better - even if it is about video games and LARP. I sent him an e-mail letting him know that I'll always love him and nothing can change that, but I understand where he's coming from and if he needs to end things before their relationship gets anymore toxic (they've been friends for almost a decade and are co-workers) than I won't fight him. I told him he's worth fighting for and I'd go to bat for him and our relationship again if I thought it would help, but I won't hurt him by asking him to stay just because I need him. Most of the time I'm not mad at Runic Wolf. He's my husband and I love him. I never felt torn between them before. I have always refused to choose. Not sure how to handle them choosing for me some days.
 
A good friend of mine has cancer and needs to have a mastectomy. There is no other way. Chemo is not an option because it is in the calcifications in over half of her breast, so there is no one single tumor to zap with chemo. During a mammogram, they also discovered an aneurism on her aorta, which is the same thing that killed John Ritter. So, they were going to schedule cardiac surgery first, and then the mastectomy afterward.

After a more detailed MRI, they saw that the aorta is not as enlarged as they thought at first, so the cardiac surgery can wait a few more years. Now she feels like a ticking time bomb! Anyway, they just scheduled her mastectomy and she asked me to pick her up from the hospital and take her home, but it is on a day I'm scheduled to work. My boss graciously switched shifts with me, so I could help my friend who has been there for me in some really rough times. Really grateful that I could tell her I will be there for her, but I don't like thinking about what she has on her plate right now.

Then my husband asked me for a pretty big favor and I complied. I really didn't see why I shouldn't have helped him out, but I hope he appreciates it. Our court date for the last bit of paperwork on the divorce got moved to the end of May. So,there's a lot going on, but all in all, I've been in a pretty good frame of mind.
 
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