Day 6 with no contact.... Its going ok.....
The "How Are You Doing" Thread (redux)
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Day 6 with no contact.... Its going ok.....
GreenAcres
New member
It's been a trying week or so, with a car accident (everyone is fine, but the car isn't drive-able--fortunately, the other driver's insurance has already accepted fault and is paying for repairs), some illness, some family issues, and some leftover problems from a partner's ended marriage. Working on all of it, but could use a few weeks of good weather and less bad luck!
GreenAcres
New member
Just some *hugs*. No contact can be really difficult, but sometimes is the best tool for starting to move on. As KDT says, hang in there!
GreenAcres
New member
Feel better soon, and, of course, congrats on starting a new lifestyle!
Thanks both. I am very in love with her... but my logic knows that no contact is best, so I am overriding my heart.
Im sorting out some other stuff too - evicting my stupid tenant who is £1400 ($2800) in arrears. They live 20 steps from the school and they are expecting another baby in a few weeks, youd have thought they would be careful to pay the rent. But after 2 years of late payment every month, my kindness has been abused and they now must go.
Work has financial problems too. I am owed £20 000 ($40 000) in unpaid invoices, I am downing tools after Tuesday. And will likely switch to work through another contracting Co but on the same software.
My good news, (yes there is some!), is that my boy was accepted in his senior school that his mum and I desperatly wanted. We bought a house near the school, and did a lot of other upheaval for it. So we are pleased.
Thanks for the support on here !
GreenAcres
New member
I am finally feeling more like "me" again. For the first time this week, I was able to do some of the advanced balance and physical exertion stuff I've been unable to do, and I feel like my health is fully recovered.
Personal relationships are going well, and a big hurdle in dealing with some past BS from a former metamour seems to have been cleared.
Personal relationships are going well, and a big hurdle in dealing with some past BS from a former metamour seems to have been cleared.
AlwaysGrowing
Well-known member
Having a bad day. To balance the shit, Boy and Nog have both offered to come over.
Messaged all day yesterday with a woman on okcupid who I'm actually really excited about! She's 13 years older than me and lives about two hours away--those are the only not perfect things about her. We're totally on the same page with our sexuality and our emotional lives. The two pics she had on her profile, both of her face, were very attractive, and she sounds like she takes great care of herself.
I haven't been excited about anyone in a while, so I'm enjoying the feeling.
I haven't been excited about anyone in a while, so I'm enjoying the feeling.
A2Poly
New member
In the airport going to see Djinn, Mal and the Kids. It's my second visit to their home since all this started, but the first one with 'no distractions' (I work support services for Djinn's business when I can, but that doesn't have to happen this time).
I find myself oddly nervous. Djinn has been struggling with her health lately, and some business issues too, and I feel like my presence might add to the burden instead of relieve it. But at the same time I think it will be good to see her, since we haven't seen each other since December. We went through this 'hot and cold' feeling in December too, and it was much better after we saw each other. So... bite the bullet and trust it will be fine, just like always
I think we forget that we need to work on our relationship too. That while we aren't in a triad (because Djinn and I aren't romantic), in someways we function like we are because of her/my long friendship. So I'm hoping to make her/me plans to see each other more as well as making the usual him/me plans to see each other.
I find myself oddly nervous. Djinn has been struggling with her health lately, and some business issues too, and I feel like my presence might add to the burden instead of relieve it. But at the same time I think it will be good to see her, since we haven't seen each other since December. We went through this 'hot and cold' feeling in December too, and it was much better after we saw each other. So... bite the bullet and trust it will be fine, just like always
I think we forget that we need to work on our relationship too. That while we aren't in a triad (because Djinn and I aren't romantic), in someways we function like we are because of her/my long friendship. So I'm hoping to make her/me plans to see each other more as well as making the usual him/me plans to see each other.
A2Poly
New member
Spent the whole day today camped out on the couch with Djinn. Long talks putting the world to right. And then the evening with all three of us curled up watching movies together. Once again the lead up was crazy making but the actuality is easy and comfortable. It is wonderful.
im in limbo -
The place i work for isnt paying me . ive downed tools, and now i have no work. The place I work for gets work from another company. That company dont want to lose me and they want me to switch to another of their subcontracted companies!
So it looks like I am moving to a new job, but will have to write off the current unpaid invoices, as my current lot will probably close down.
Also tenants are defaulting on rent, so im having to evict them.
And I miss my lost love AWFULLY! 13 days of no contact and it really sucks.
On the good side, my son got into a fabulous high school, and my health si mostly ok .
But being in limbo about the job really really sucks - the unknown eats away at me.
The place i work for isnt paying me . ive downed tools, and now i have no work. The place I work for gets work from another company. That company dont want to lose me and they want me to switch to another of their subcontracted companies!
So it looks like I am moving to a new job, but will have to write off the current unpaid invoices, as my current lot will probably close down.
Also tenants are defaulting on rent, so im having to evict them.
And I miss my lost love AWFULLY! 13 days of no contact and it really sucks.
On the good side, my son got into a fabulous high school, and my health si mostly ok .
But being in limbo about the job really really sucks - the unknown eats away at me.
A2Poly
New member
Had a few pretty big discussions about our relationship(s) this weekend:
We discussed this idea I had a few posts back about being an emotional triad even though we are 'technically' a 'V'. It struck true from Djinn and Mal too, so we are going to make sure that we prioritize the me/Djinn relationship as much as the me/Mal relationship, and spend more time with all of us hanging out together too. Everything feels more secure (to all of us) when Djinn and I are talking more. It's not a style of poly that I see getting a lot of support around here, but it feels 'right'. So we'll see how it goes
We discussed this idea I had a few posts back about being an emotional triad even though we are 'technically' a 'V'. It struck true from Djinn and Mal too, so we are going to make sure that we prioritize the me/Djinn relationship as much as the me/Mal relationship, and spend more time with all of us hanging out together too. Everything feels more secure (to all of us) when Djinn and I are talking more. It's not a style of poly that I see getting a lot of support around here, but it feels 'right'. So we'll see how it goes
Inyourendo
New member
Nate and I went to a Comic-Con in kc for the weekend, we saw sam witwer (from being human US) sitting at the next table at Ethiopian, that was a treat. Then on today I saw him and Stephen Amell (from Arrow ) at panel. Going to panel was a nice respite from the noisy crowd. I ended up having a anxiety attack Saturday when after sitting at our table for 9 hours we attempted to go to an after party but it was so overwhelmingly loud I had to leave. I told Nate to go ahead and mingle without me but there wasn't anyone he knew so he didn't stay long.
Sam paid for a rental houses this weekend. Its a 3 bedtime, all hardwood and tile, refurbished older home. It's almost perfect except it is an electric stove instead of gas. His mom who will be living there decided she wasn't to take the small room upstairs as her room so everyone has privacy. Im glad because I was worried about my 2 year old on the stairs in the middle of the night, she usually seeks me out and id be worried she'd fall
Sam paid for a rental houses this weekend. Its a 3 bedtime, all hardwood and tile, refurbished older home. It's almost perfect except it is an electric stove instead of gas. His mom who will be living there decided she wasn't to take the small room upstairs as her room so everyone has privacy. Im glad because I was worried about my 2 year old on the stairs in the middle of the night, she usually seeks me out and id be worried she'd fall
Dagferi
Well-known member
Right now I am avoiding Butch because he is sick and I do not want my vacation with Murf being spent with me being sick.
I leave in 9 days for a two week trip to Vegas. We are driving from Pennsylvania to Vegas for Rockabilly weekend. We are showing our 55 Chevy and we are towing the car out ourselves on the car trailer.
Butch is WONDERFUL he could have bulked at my going he said go without hesitation. He will take care of the kids and the critters.
I leave in 9 days for a two week trip to Vegas. We are driving from Pennsylvania to Vegas for Rockabilly weekend. We are showing our 55 Chevy and we are towing the car out ourselves on the car trailer.
Butch is WONDERFUL he could have bulked at my going he said go without hesitation. He will take care of the kids and the critters.
Inyourendo
New member
Thats awesome! Well not that poor Butch is sick but a trip to Vegas! Nate and I got married there, loved it
Dagferi
Well-known member
I am excited... (that is an understatement...lol) I haven't been on vacation in years and years.
Unfortunately I had to cut off my hair before my shoulder surgery. So I can't do my hair in victory rolls so I will be rocking the Betty Rizzo look.
eta.. This will also be the longest period I have been kid free in 21 years. I will not know what to do with myself.
Unfortunately I had to cut off my hair before my shoulder surgery. So I can't do my hair in victory rolls so I will be rocking the Betty Rizzo look.
eta.. This will also be the longest period I have been kid free in 21 years. I will not know what to do with myself.
IndieSolo
Active member
Excited! I just got the word from my boss today that all my proposed vacation plans are a GO. Hooray!
This year I get two paid weeks off (actually 10 days, because I work 5 days a week) and I had already submitted 5 days in May that took up half of my allotted time. Connected to those days are three of my regular days off, so I'll have a nice 7-day trip away plus 1 day to recover after I fly back home.
My boss has been bugging me to tell her what other days I want off later in the year because people with less seniority than I have are also trying to arrange for their time off, but they have to schedule around everyone who comes before them (at least I have less people above me than they do). I've felt pressured trying to figure this shit out because I am just not the kind of person that plans that far ahead, so I've been uber-focused on this for the last couple weeks trying to find places to go, things to do, and to see how much I can spend. I had asked my boss for dates that I could choose from, after she and two other people get first dibs before I do.
And as much as I've been struggling with this the past several weeks, it all fell into place last night! I found an event/activity I want to do, they have an opening, I qualify for a discounted rate, and the schedule would be perfect! So, I sent my boss an email with the dates I wanted and she wrote back this morning that it's all cool with her.
So - besides the 8 days in May, I'll have a nice little 4-day break at the end of summer, and a full work-week off in the fall, which used up all my paid vacay days. Breaking up my vacation time into segments and connecting my usual days off with all those vacation days gives me a few nice strings of time off that will break up the year nicely and help with the stress of the job. I'd rather do that than have just one big vacation a year, like one of my co-workers does. She also approved my request to switch some days around in order to have a long weekend in July. I'll just make up the time at a later date.
I've never had this much paid vacation time in my life, so I'm going to make the best of it! One trip will be to an artist's retreat and the surrounding city; one will be spent just being lazy at a friend's house in the country; the long weekend will probably be a beachy kind of getaway and/or maybe visiting relatives; and the last bit of time off will be on a sailing trip. I am stoked! Now I just need to count my pennies and make it all happen!
This year I get two paid weeks off (actually 10 days, because I work 5 days a week) and I had already submitted 5 days in May that took up half of my allotted time. Connected to those days are three of my regular days off, so I'll have a nice 7-day trip away plus 1 day to recover after I fly back home.
My boss has been bugging me to tell her what other days I want off later in the year because people with less seniority than I have are also trying to arrange for their time off, but they have to schedule around everyone who comes before them (at least I have less people above me than they do). I've felt pressured trying to figure this shit out because I am just not the kind of person that plans that far ahead, so I've been uber-focused on this for the last couple weeks trying to find places to go, things to do, and to see how much I can spend. I had asked my boss for dates that I could choose from, after she and two other people get first dibs before I do.
And as much as I've been struggling with this the past several weeks, it all fell into place last night! I found an event/activity I want to do, they have an opening, I qualify for a discounted rate, and the schedule would be perfect! So, I sent my boss an email with the dates I wanted and she wrote back this morning that it's all cool with her.
So - besides the 8 days in May, I'll have a nice little 4-day break at the end of summer, and a full work-week off in the fall, which used up all my paid vacay days. Breaking up my vacation time into segments and connecting my usual days off with all those vacation days gives me a few nice strings of time off that will break up the year nicely and help with the stress of the job. I'd rather do that than have just one big vacation a year, like one of my co-workers does. She also approved my request to switch some days around in order to have a long weekend in July. I'll just make up the time at a later date.
I've never had this much paid vacation time in my life, so I'm going to make the best of it! One trip will be to an artist's retreat and the surrounding city; one will be spent just being lazy at a friend's house in the country; the long weekend will probably be a beachy kind of getaway and/or maybe visiting relatives; and the last bit of time off will be on a sailing trip. I am stoked! Now I just need to count my pennies and make it all happen!
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Inyourendo
New member
Sounds awesome!
That's great NYCindie! You deserve it!
bassman, that really sucks about your job! What a bummer! Best of luck to you. As far as going no contact with your "lost love," it is for the best. I know it's hard, I went through it starting last July... I am healing well and finding myself ready to enjoy new potential loves now. I was in an uneasy place with my ex for too long, and calling it quits was a wise and healthy decision for me. There is more good to come for you in your future!
bassman, that really sucks about your job! What a bummer! Best of luck to you. As far as going no contact with your "lost love," it is for the best. I know it's hard, I went through it starting last July... I am healing well and finding myself ready to enjoy new potential loves now. I was in an uneasy place with my ex for too long, and calling it quits was a wise and healthy decision for me. There is more good to come for you in your future!
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