Our poly situation is pretty insane right now.
Last year in counselling with me and Idealist we decided we could imagine a future with two homes next door with Idealist splitting time 50/50 (roughly), so that I could have something as close to a traditional couples' cohabitation as possible and Idealist would have something as close to one joint home as possible.
We're basically figuring out ways for him to have two families and still be present - for I'm not gonna share space with Meta. A hallway is as far as I'm willing to go.
Whether Meta is going to accept the shift or not is an issue that we have started addressing. If she won't, I might make him choose. I'm getting closer to being ready to walk despite the couple relationship actually only getting better.
Meanwhile, Meta has started to do holotropic breathwork, which is an intense method of exploring one's psyche, meaning that after years of stagnation she's actually doing personal development work. This allowed us to talk in the first place. But it lead to a rather serious personal crisis. Healing crisis it may be, but crisis nevertheless where she's in need of emotional support and struggling to keep up with her work commitments.
Postponing poly issues till she's more stable may not be an option. First, poly issues probably play a role in her crisis. Second, I'm not willing to risk that either 'more stable' takes a year, or that she gets more stable at the cost of not being willing to try solving anything again.
They (Idealist and Meta) have been to couple therapy too, and they told me I should come along next time, which is Friday. Apparently, the therapist wants to hear it all.
I think I'm just going to be blunt.
Last year in counselling with me and Idealist we decided we could imagine a future with two homes next door with Idealist splitting time 50/50 (roughly), so that I could have something as close to a traditional couples' cohabitation as possible and Idealist would have something as close to one joint home as possible.
We're basically figuring out ways for him to have two families and still be present - for I'm not gonna share space with Meta. A hallway is as far as I'm willing to go.
Whether Meta is going to accept the shift or not is an issue that we have started addressing. If she won't, I might make him choose. I'm getting closer to being ready to walk despite the couple relationship actually only getting better.
Meanwhile, Meta has started to do holotropic breathwork, which is an intense method of exploring one's psyche, meaning that after years of stagnation she's actually doing personal development work. This allowed us to talk in the first place. But it lead to a rather serious personal crisis. Healing crisis it may be, but crisis nevertheless where she's in need of emotional support and struggling to keep up with her work commitments.
Postponing poly issues till she's more stable may not be an option. First, poly issues probably play a role in her crisis. Second, I'm not willing to risk that either 'more stable' takes a year, or that she gets more stable at the cost of not being willing to try solving anything again.
They (Idealist and Meta) have been to couple therapy too, and they told me I should come along next time, which is Friday. Apparently, the therapist wants to hear it all.
I think I'm just going to be blunt.