WestCoastRedhead
Active member
Another update: I'm feeling frustrated again. Yes, in theory Pisces and I can communicate freely now because of his roaming. But in reality, the 9 hour time difference sucks. We barely both have many waking hours to really communicate, and it feels like he is texting me in snatches of moments when his other partner Blue isn't around, or when he is out and about waiting for a train, or taking photos. I know he has the good intentions, however, it's not terribly emotionally satisfying. Just now, I had slept in a bit, because I had been up late (texted with him at 1am here, 10am there), and so when I went to text with him, we got three texts in, and then he messages "Blue has just joined me for dinner, be back in a bit!".
I must admit, I don't love being bumped the second the other partner comes into the space. Logically I get it - she is there in person, and I'm not, and it's important she is the focus. But I have a mild pet peeve in poly (well, in general), that the person on the phone or in the texting side automatically gets bumped the moment the person in real life arrives. Is there a happy medium? She is with him all day & night (unless he is out on his own to take photos), so gets tons of his time and focus right now. I can't have some uninterrupted time with him where there is always the risk of someone coming in, or him having to catch a train or a sunset? She has had lots of solo/private/alone time at their hotel when he goes out, which enables her to have relaxed private time to communicate with any and all of her people back home, and he hasn't had any private/alone time in the hotel yet (for either himself, or for a relaxed chat with me in the quiet of the room). I have asked for this, and he says he will try to make alone time for a long call, but has yet to do anything about it.
Just frustrating. I know this is the first time this situation is happening with the three of us, so know that things could likely be done differently/better, but am not sure how yet. A thorough debrief is likely needed after this time. Meantime, I'm now back to feeling like I just want to cut off all communication, instead of constantly waiting/grabbing snatches of started but interrupted conversations at wonky hours a couple of times a day.... :-(
I must admit, I don't love being bumped the second the other partner comes into the space. Logically I get it - she is there in person, and I'm not, and it's important she is the focus. But I have a mild pet peeve in poly (well, in general), that the person on the phone or in the texting side automatically gets bumped the moment the person in real life arrives. Is there a happy medium? She is with him all day & night (unless he is out on his own to take photos), so gets tons of his time and focus right now. I can't have some uninterrupted time with him where there is always the risk of someone coming in, or him having to catch a train or a sunset? She has had lots of solo/private/alone time at their hotel when he goes out, which enables her to have relaxed private time to communicate with any and all of her people back home, and he hasn't had any private/alone time in the hotel yet (for either himself, or for a relaxed chat with me in the quiet of the room). I have asked for this, and he says he will try to make alone time for a long call, but has yet to do anything about it.
Just frustrating. I know this is the first time this situation is happening with the three of us, so know that things could likely be done differently/better, but am not sure how yet. A thorough debrief is likely needed after this time. Meantime, I'm now back to feeling like I just want to cut off all communication, instead of constantly waiting/grabbing snatches of started but interrupted conversations at wonky hours a couple of times a day.... :-(