I do feel worse after reading your post but at least you are honest. I just don’t understand how men can be so superficial.
Anyone can be superficial. Do you think your husband is superficial?
I am not racist, okay? I was just curious if the rumors were true so I asked my husband out of curiosity. It’s not like I created the stereotype, and it’s private information between my husband and I so it’s not like I am perpetuating the stereotype either.
It became un-private when you posted it here, though. I took offense. Others probably did too. I'm not blaming you for being curious about a damaging stereotype, but I hate to see it perpetuated here.
I Did search these forums before I posted and did not find anything about this topic. But I Did find a collection of posts talking about penis size, which by the way you were a contributor to all of them. And you didn’t find any of those conversations to be a inappropriate so I Assumed I could post about my problem.
The inappropriate part was the racial genital stereotype and the sexist assumption that all men would leave a woman because of the dimensions of her vagina. It's an interesting conversation but I don't want people to get the idea our board is in favor of racial stereotyping.
I found posts from you where you described yourself as a “size queen”, a term often used to degrade women and/or objectify men. And yet you find conversations about vagina size to be “inappropriate”? Okay whatever you say goes since your a mod (I like how you made sure to point out dear) I will stop participating in that part of the conversation.
Fair enough. I put on my mod hat to turn the convo away from people telling you that you are indeed inadequate and your husband might leave you because of your gigantic loose vagina. (I am very glad Kevin apologized.)
I don't see how admitting I have a certain physical preference is "degrading" to myself. Some people prefer redheads, or brown eyes or whatever. That's fine. Some men might love a thicc woman, and some lesbian women might prefer to date masculine-looking women. I don't waste my time judging other people for how they prefer their partners to look. We really have no control over that.
I prefer a larger cock because I happen to have a deeper than average vagina, as confirmed by multiple gynecologists and midwives. To feel that nice full feeling that I like, it helps me to have a lover with a bigger penis. Indeed, when my gf and I buy toys for me, I have found a larger dildo in the strap-on harness works best for me.
However, I have had plenty of satisfying sex with men of average length and girth. I would never dump a guy for having a "too small" penis, as long as he had other bedroom skills to give me full satisfaction. Also, importantly, in my love life, it's not just the cock or the pussy or the sex that matters-- it's the intellectual and emotional links that really make me want to be with someone! I'm demisexual like that.
My intent was to help you. I thought that the real deeper question you had was, 'I am afraid my husband will leave me for a younger, "tighter" women, plus, I have found fault with his previous gfs because I also felt inadequate as compared to them, and tried to get my h to dump them.' I have been posting on this board for over a decade because I want to help people negotiate polyamory. You are seeming to say polyamory is not going well for you, even though it was your idea, because you feel insecure when your h is with other women. You fear losing him to "someone better," and this is an ongoing problem. The differences in vaginas is just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak.
I would reassure him. Size wouldn’t matter to me anyway. What bothers me is that it sounds like tightness matters a lot to men!
Some men have posted that tighter, as tight as possible, is not their preference. Inaniel seemed to be posting about vaginismus, where a woman's vagina spasms and becomes uncomfortably, even painfully tight.
Women understand their vaginas best. You have gotten advice about exercises to do, sex ed to seek for this particular issue. Yet you seem to be focused on how "men are so shallow." That doesn't seem helpful and I find it insulting to men. I mean, yeah, for sex to feel good, a vagina needs to enclose a penis snugly. Vaginas are made to do that. Vaginas are a muscle that can be worked out and increased in tone. Vaginas are flexible. They can hold something as narrow as a pencil and expand to allow a 10 lb baby to pass through.
Love your vagina. Take good care of her and she will take care of you.
If you fear losing your husband to someone better, we can also help you work through that issue, if you'd like.
(BTW, we are all racist, at least a little. Odd societal assumptions about the genitalia of Black or Asian people perpetuate a racial divide. Many people assume Asian men have small cocks and Black men have big ones, across the board, but that is just. not. true.)