Vicki's Journey Continues...

[Magdlyn]

I don't know. I've never felt anything like that to be honest. I find physical attraction pretty low on my list of factors that make a person appealing, and I'm much more interested in what's inside the meat sack than anything to do with the rest of it.

Just so you know, gender preference and gender identity are two entirely different things. Who I am is not who I love. A transwoman can be gay (attracted to other women), or straight (attracted to men), or bi (attracted to cis men or women, or fully transmen or women) or pan (attracted to all genders).

If it doesn't matter what gender a person is to be attracted to them, if your partners are exploring where they are on the gender spectrum, you're ahead of the game. Are you pansexual?

Just feeling super low tonight. It's almost like everyone is speaking a language I just don't understand, and I feel like it's going to be a barrier preventing me from connecting authentically, because it just doesn't make sense to me, and that must be my fault, or I'm not trying hard enough. But it just doesn't.

It's a new concept to you. It might make more sense over time, as you get used to it and see how it unfolds with your partners. You don't have to empathize in order to accept their differences. I'm just trying to assure you that just because someone is questioning their gender, it doesn't make them a whole other person who is a stranger to you (necessarily). Of course, people can and do grow apart and relationships end because you no longer see eye-to-eye. I don't think anyone should go into a commitment thinking there's a 100% guarantee the relationship will literally last forever. Call me jaded. I was with my ex h for 30 years and now we've been apart for 15!

I don't mean to downplay your fears and sadness though. There are also plenty of books out about understanding gender, transgender and non-binary identities. If you are a book person, I'd read a couple.