Ari's Blog - Beginning

nycindie said:
Honey is a natural antibiotic
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NeonKaos said:
Garlic's volatile compounds are actually potent antibiotics. [...] I do know that honey has many anti-bacterial qualities all on its own
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I had never heard of that! I'm allergic to medicinal antibiotics, so getting infections has always been a pain for me (especially when a cold turns into a lung infection that then lasts forever, etc). I'll remember to have more garlic and honey from now on!
 
Ariakas said:
Bacon, caramlized, tastes like candy. I am a bit of a bacon guy.

I might have to try garlic chased with milk. Need to make sure my roomate isnt in the area, she despises and is allergic to garlic.
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She's a vampire, Ari. Run. Run now, before it's too late!! :)
 
Ari's roommate claims to be allergic to garlic... I suspect it is just a clever ruse to get close to him and make him dinner without the garlic interfereing....
 
wow, that's awful, she probably shouldn't visit here, she would be ill daily-I think there is garlic added to damn near every single thing we eat!
 
Yeah, and garlic "travels", you'd probably get a reaction even if you don't eat any yourself, as long as other people cooked with it or ate it. While, say, I'm allergic to dairy but it's perfectly fine if it's other people having eat (to be fair, I have some from time to time anyways. It's not that bad an allergy and I miss cheese too much otherwise).
 
So, I haven't really been posting. I feel the need to post this because, well...my breakup and heartbreak had nothing to do with poly. I enjoy clarity and wanted to offer it.

I am an alcoholic. While I am not a raging, fiending, losing control alcoholic. I did in fact NEED to drink to sleep. This has become a habit and one I could not stop on my own. I was a high functioning drinker. I can say things like it didn't affect me day to day, my life was normal. I just slept well. But that isn't true.

Where this affected me in relationships was an inherent dullness. I like the analogy of a knife. I was a little dull and a lot over used, and hadnt been sharpened in years. Everyone who met me, met the real Ariakas, but in the end, I was...off. The alcohol created that affect. In the last bunch of months, even though I had cut way back, it was still affecting me in physical and depressive ways. Regardless of how much I wouldn't drink, I was sad and sick, for that matter getting sicker.

I didn't know what I needed to get better. I was losing the fight...

Sourgirl did something for me no one else could do. She held up a mirror, showed me what was happening, and then broke up with me. She loved me enough to be my friend. This is a step, last week, I despised... but this week I have learned to appreciate and love. I would not have seen the severity of my problem without her loving me enough to do that. I have had a few people help me through this and I appreciate all of their support. Thank you its been a hard road and I am only at the start.

I am not sure how much I will be posting, or what I will be able to post. I am very focussed on my recovery and being with the people I love.
 
Ari thank you for your honesty and bravery. Your vulnerability is your strength. There are many that can relate to your illness and many that can relate to having to deal with someone else who is ill. I can relate to the latter. It makes me care about you all the more to be able to be given the gift of your honesty. It helps me an others understand so that we can supportive. Thank you for that.

*hugs* to you and yours at this time. Good for you getting on it. Its a difficult road with lot of work ahead. All I can say is that its worth it. You are worth it and so are those that love you. Keep at it and know that for what its worth, I am your friend.
 
Thank you for that Ari. It was brave of you to post. The offer still stands for a weekend away on the Island. We'd love to see you!
 
Ari,
I'm so proud of you I've teared up (no I'm not exaggerating).

PROUD of you.

It's a wonderful step that you've taken, being honest with yourself and everyone here.

It's a hard road working on self-improvement. But, you're making an awesome forward step and that deserves a big huge internet hug.

XOXOXOXOXO

LR
 
thanks guys. Its going to be a long journey. But worth it. I appreciate the space to post this. I felt the need to be sure people knew this wasn't a poly issue, wasn't a love issue, wasn't even a relationship issue...it was something I needed to do personally.

Sourgirl loved me enough to give me the kickstart I needed. I will forever be grateful...and love her even more because of it.

:) thanks again, I do enjoy being sober...walking around a little dull sucks.
 
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Many hugs Ari. You're one of the bravest people I know.

Give Sour Girl a hug (cyber or in person) from me too & tell her thank you from all of us here :) on the boards.
 
Good luck Ari. It's going to get harder before it gets easier, but you're strong and you've already taken the right steps, and we all support you :)
A friend of mine told me once that a relationship needs to work before you can add anyone else to it. And that it included having children, it included poly, but it also meant that you need to function on your own before you can be in a relationship. Sometimes, it's too easy to use each other as a crutch and you never really solve your problems and become the person you want to be.

So I wish you a lot of luck in working on yourself, and I hope we'll keep hearing from you at least from time to time :)
 
Ariakis, thanks for sharing that with us. Best of luck in your recovery. *hug*
 
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