In the garden

Evie

Active member
Lance called tonight. Unplanned.
He's going to break my heart again. The way he looks at me...
But his business is booming, beyond booming, and I'm thrilled for him.
I'm so happy to be poly so I'm not asking myself ridiculous questions like, "why do I still love him?" Because it doesn't matter, I just can without angst. And when this crazy world opens up again, perhaps we will meet, after I've been to see Puck. He is my travel priority now.
 

Evie

Active member
I am knackered! Yesterday was the total opposite of how I usually spend Saturdays and it took its toll. My half sister and her partner and his 4 kids (eldest is just 10, youngest is 5) were visiting (first time I've met them) and I also went shopping in the afternoon. Shopping was generally successful. Kids were generally successful. But I hit the wall massively last night after dinner and haven't really felt much better today. With a full house, I didn't get to speak with Puck for our usual Sunday call, so that sucked, although we're going to do our best to connect tomorrow after work.

I have a busy day tomorrow, but I'm prepared enough. It won't be my best ever lessons though, although the extroverted side of me will take over and sort it out.

I'm missing Adam like crazy and I've only been back here for 10 days. Some days I really don't like our separate lives.
 

Evie

Active member
It's Monday morning and emotionally I'm not feeling flash. Work will be the solution as it will get me out of my own head and how much I'm missing the physical aspects of my relationships. God help me the stars better align this afternoon to be able to talk with Puck.
 

Evie

Active member
No married couple should be hitting on a 22-year-old. The power dynamics are just never going to be in her favor.

Meera wrote this elsewhere. I agree so very much with it and wanted to expand on it without derailing that thread.

I was that 22 y/o.

They were 40F and 42M. He and I had developed a very intense crush, they opened up, I sought their help leaving an abusive relationship, I became their unicorn. Things weren't horrible, I dated others, too. NRE was high among all three of us. We were happy, but then he said he wanted it to be just us two. I tried to tell him no. I tried to show him no. He was adamant. I moved away. He wanted to follow, but then morally couldn't. It was about 9 months of hell for all of us, followed by a lifetime of waxing and waning misery for him - I say lifetime as he died of a stroke aged 60. He put his wife through hell. I wasn't much better, but distance and age divided us and I grew up and into myself. We stayed sporadically in touch, but when he died I wasn't overly sad. He had been depressed again and I'm quite convinced he would have been glad to go.

We all suffered, we were all just making it up as we went along (it was 20 years ago now) and the bottom line is that they should never have courted a 22 year old who was escaping an abusive relationship.
 

Evie

Active member
I'm visiting Adam this weekend, but he's at work today, and flatmate is out so I'm enjoying the house to myself right now. I have plans to talk to Puck soon, then I'm thinking shopping. Adam has a record player (recent acquisition) but no records I actually enjoy. My records are still at my parents' place, so I will go hit up the record store. Or the op shop (thrift). And I'm thinking I'll get something for the slow cooker and I can have dinner and music waiting for Adam when he gets home; maybe even start learning Carcassonne together. I played with my Sister last weekend and loved it so want to play with Adam this weekend. I was given a copy this week as a belated birthday present and I am so keen to try it out again. Adam is a bit of a gamer, but has never played this one, so reasonably level playing field.

So Puck had plans for this evening and I knew I had a few hours window to talk to him, but he went to the clinic for an antibody test, but that took longer than expected so I was seeing the window closing and getting sad, so I messaged him wishing him a good evening (I can feel sad and yet happy for him at the same time) but he messaged back saying that the plans were cancelled so we could talk after 6. Yay. But I'm going to mention I could have done with that info earlier then I wouldn't have felt sad at all.

And I'd just like to mention for posterity... Fuck Covid19. I'm still mourning the planned travel to see him last Easter, and I still don't know when I'll be able to go/him come here.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
I'm visiting Adam this weekend, but he's at work today, and flatmate is out so I'm enjoying the house to myself right now. I have plans to talk to Puck soon, then I'm thinking shopping. Adam has a record player (recent acquisition) but no records I actually enjoy. My records are still at my parents' place, so I will go hit up the record store. Or the op shop (thrift). And I'm thinking I'll get something for the slow cooker and I can have dinner and music waiting for Adam when he gets home; maybe even start learning Carcassonne together. I played with my Sister last weekend and loved it so want to play with Adam this weekend. I was given a copy this week as a belated birthday present and I am so keen to try it out again. Adam is a bit of a gamer, but has never played this one, so reasonably level playing field.

So Puck had plans for this evening and I knew I had a few hours window to talk to him, but he went to the clinic for an antibody test, but that took longer than expected so I was seeing the window closing and getting sad, so I messaged him wishing him a good evening (I can feel sad and yet happy for him at the same time) but he messaged back saying that the plans were cancelled so we could talk after 6. Yay. But I'm going to mention I could have done with that info earlier then I wouldn't have felt sad at all.

And I'd just like to mention for posterity... Fuck Covid19. I'm still mourning the planned travel to see him last Easter, and I still don't know when I'll be able to go/him come here.

Wow, Puck can just swan off and get an antibody test, in the US? I admit I have avoided a deep dive into Covid news for a week or so. I didn't know there were reliable antibody tests being given out to people who have not been sick, either with symptoms, or actually diagnosed with Covid.
 

Evie

Active member
Wow, Puck can just swan off and get an antibody test, in the US? I admit I have avoided a deep dive into Covid news for a week or so. I didn't know there were reliable antibody tests being given out to people who have not been sick, either with symptoms, or actually diagnosed with Covid.

Yep, apparently so. I have no reason to disbelieve him that he could/did as it makes no difference to my ability to see him this year; our borders are closed full stop, and I can't get to the States either. This test is more about his local polycule. Also, I understand that his State's (Governor's) response has been a little better than average despite being Republican so they might have recently thrown the antibody testing wide open to try and find more past cases.

And I did mention that it would have saved me some sadness had I known about the change of plans, and he apologised and said he'd been scattered and had thought he'd told me, but would do better.

Today is going to be great. I'm having our "date" call with Puck in around an hour, then spending the rest of the day with Adam until he has an international group call from 7:30. We have a lot planned including rearranging the lounge furniture, yay! And learning to play Carcassonne!! And probably lunch at a winery, and shopping, although just for mundane necessary things (I need more coat hangers for the school wardrobe department, and he needs underpants). I bought us presents yesterday - a vinyl album each. Jethro Tull - Broadsword for him and Live - Throwing Copper 25th anniversary edition for me. It makes such a difference with both of us working this year, we can have nice things.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Yep, apparently so. I have no reason to disbelieve him that he could/did as it makes no difference to my ability to see him this year; our borders are closed full stop, and I can't get to the States either. This test is more about his local polycule. Also, I understand that his State's (Governor's) response has been a little better than average despite being Republican so they might have recently thrown the antibody testing wide open to try and find more past cases.

Cool! My state of Massachusetts had a moderate Republican governor, in a liberal state. I am now even more intrigued. Pixi and I are both wondering if we had mild cases early on in March.

And I did mention that it would have saved me some sadness had I known about the change of plans, and he apologised and said he'd been scattered and had thought he'd told me, but would do better.

Today is going to be great. I'm having our "date" call with Puck in around an hour, then spending the rest of the day with Adam until he has an international group call from 7:30. We have a lot planned including rearranging the lounge furniture, yay! And learning to play Carcassonne!! And probably lunch at a winery, and shopping, although just for mundane necessary things (I need more coat hangers for the school wardrobe department, and he needs underpants). I bought us presents yesterday - a vinyl album each. Jethro Tull - Broadsword for him and Live - Throwing Copper 25th anniversary edition for me. It makes such a difference with both of us working this year, we can have nice things.

All I can see here is blah blah blah lunch at a winery blah blah! Have fun!
 

icesong

Member
Throwing Copper is a good choice though I can’t believe it’s been 25 years. Pity their newer stuff isn’t nearly as good.
 

Evie

Active member
Well I am envious you have a record store...lol

It's a little independent store that sells both new and second hand... and only takes cash.

Mags, I asked Puck more about the testing and he said it was booked by his doctor following a phone appointment in which he mentioned that he could have come in contact with it iin March. She approved a test without any further ado.

Icesong, oh yeah, I've liked a few songs here and there since Throwing Copper but not a whole album. Throwing Copper really is the best, and I just discovered Hold Me Up last year since they released it with the anniversary edition. I adore it, too.

Sadly, Mags, everything but the winery lunch happened. I guess we'll save that for next visit.
 

Magdlyn

Well-known member
Mags, I asked Puck more about the testing and he said it was booked by his doctor, following a phone appointment in which he mentioned that he could have come in contact with it in March. She approved a test without any further ado.

Interesting! Pixi went to a business conference in March, from the 3-5th, in Atlantic City NJ of all places. Right next to where the first cases were cropping up in NYC. She didn't get sick. I was so worried though, since it was 5000 people!

But she went to a Fetish Fair in mid February in Providence, Rhode Island with her bf and got sick after that. Probably it was too early for Covid and was just "con crud," but we've always wondered. She was sick in bed with a fever for 4 days. I had a fever a few days later for 6 hours and then kicked it!

Sadly, Mags, everything but the winery lunch happened. I guess we'll save that for next visit.

Oh darn. I miss wine tasting and restaurants and brew pubs and and and... I was having compersion for your meal haha

Interestingly, I was reading up on the 1918 flu pandemic yesterday (Wiki) and I read how NZ fucked that one up, didn't close in time and ended up doing badly and infecting some other S Pacific Islands. I wonder if that was on your PM's mind when she did so well this time. (I saw her on Stephen Colbert last year and she was awesome!)
 

Evie

Active member
Oh darn. I miss wine tasting and restaurants and brew pubs and and and... I was having compersion for your meal haha

Interestingly, I was reading up on the 1918 flu pandemic yesterday (Wiki) and I read how NZ fucked that one up, didn't close in time and ended up doing badly and infecting some other S Pacific Islands. I wonder if that was on your PM's mind when she did so well this time. (I saw her on Stephen Colbert last year and she was awesome!)

All was not lost on the restaurant front. We went to a wonderful pizzeria.

Our PM is very likely to be aware of the 1918 response, but I doubt it's been as influential in decision making as all that. Dr Ashley Bloomfield is her right hand man on this one, but even then there are teams behind both of them.

NZ is doing a terrible job at maintaining social distancing now shops/bars/etc are back open, but I'm still hopeful that we won't see a second wave because of the early response and the tracking of clusters from the beginning.
 

Evie

Active member
No new cases again today and we're looking like a return to almost total normal next week, but with ongoing border closures (well, mandatory 2 week quarantine). So there is a lot of waiting to do yet.

I miss Adam now I'm back in work town but we have a date for him to visit me before the end of term (when I can go home for two weeks).

It's all a little mundane again. I talked with Puck at lunchtime, which was great, and I started paying attention to the wardrobe department again, hanging up new and returned costumes and setting up a mending table.

Tonight, I'm taking the whole night to myself. I'll need it to digest the awful supermarket pre prepared dinner I just ate.

But first, I'll call my folks.
 

Evie

Active member
Puck is having a social weekend this weekend with two overnight dates and our video call play date between. That was wonderful this morning (I'm the middle date), I could really see the difference in him and he acknowledged just how much better he was feeling.

He's going to see cancer meta tonight, the last chance for a long time as she'll be very isolated during chemo.

God I need to pick names for all my metas, I can't remember if I've named anyone already, I'll check back sometime that I'm not on my phone.

I'm still spending money on updating my winter clothes since I haven't in years. Thank god I'm about to get the second half of my scholarship payment from last year after a gentle nudge. Great timing, and in fact I might go get something else before my 3pm meeting.
 

Evie

Active member
I'm going to name my metas here and will probably have to refer back to this post to remember all of the nicknames lol

These are all on Puck's side:

Wife: Renée
Longest term gf: Iris
Long distance gf (with cancer): Charli
Mid term gf: Selena

So, last weekend he finally got to see Selena on Friday night and Charli on Saturday night (both after a long Covid break) and we had our usual call on his Saturday afternoon (my Sunday morning). He sees Iris daily for coffee and has a regular overnight with her on Wednesdays, and lives with Renée.

Usually he'd see Selena on Friday nights for an overnight, but Covid. Selena has another partner so has been spending more of lockdown with him. Renée has other partners, too. Iris doesn't, she is fundamentally mono. It's a pity because she sounds pretty damn cool and like someone I'd like to meet, but that's unlikely. She's okay with Renée, but doesn't really want to know beyond that.
 
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Evie

Active member

Evie

Active member
I wrote something hard in my FL journal today, something hard to write and likely something hard to read. Puck only checks my journal once in a while but ironically today he checked it while it was still new and raw. I pretty much tell him everything anyway, it would have been reading a reiteration of most of it, but there were some extended thoughts in there, too. He took it with grace. He spent time with me. He didn't address anything I'd written immediately but I still felt heard, valued and loved. It's going to be a strong future.
 

Evie

Active member
Dear god what a few weeks it's been. I'm so glad to have a couple of weeks' holiday right now. I'm home with Adam and we're making real progress towards getting a mortgage. This is going to be horribly stressful but I hope to eventually report that we own this place. Or another. But one way or another, we'll be home owners.

Puck is being amazing, as always. We're rather taking turns at supporting each other through the difficult days. I need to turn my attention to work paperwork tomorrow since I've gone as far as I can with the mortgage, insurance quote and conveyancing solicitor for now. Adam is working on his own work paperwork until 6pm and then we're going out for dinner. Just the local Indian restaurant, but gosh I'm looking forward it.

Life is what happens while you're making other plans... and I'm desperately planning to buy the house and visit Puck but I'm really trying to make sure I keep living in the meantime. Today didn't start well, but it will finish better. And tomorrow I get another chance at starting well.
 

Evie

Active member
I spent about an hour and a half with Mike today. He also said some nice things, like that it would be good if I lived in his town, or at least closer to it. And that was after I had to call yellow 😣

I had a therapeutic massage today, and gosh was it what. I was balling my eyes out.

I didn't really get the chance to connect with Puck today and I'm acutely feeling the absence. I'm sure we can make up for it tomorrow.

There's a new guy, Captain, (not sure if that's his rank or not, but he is a combat officer). He's local to me sometimes, so this could become a FWB thing.

Adam is working the next two nights and flatmate is too, so I'm binge watching chick flicks. Vintage right now... Steel Magnolias.
 
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